From the Ashes
by pseudo-quill
Summary: Between dimensions, someone disrupts Mokona's spell, forcing them into a world they were never meant to be in. Someone is calling to Fai from the woods, watching from within the shadows. Who is calling? And what does he want? Post-series. Kurofai.
1. Prologue

**Summary: Something goes wrong between dimensions.**

**Warnings:** **Kurofai, established relationship. This is post-series so spoilers for the end. There will also be spoilers for Fai's past later. Hinted TouyaYuki, Douwata, and other CLAMP pairings. Swearing, innuendo, a bit of violence later on perhaps? I'm not sure if the rating will go up in later chapters. We will see.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

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><p>Dimension traveling was like flying.<p>

Or so Fai privately felt.

Of course, he had often gone world-walking even before he had joined their strange ragtag little team on their adventure. But those times were different from now in the same way driving was different from simply hitching a ride. The feeling of surrendering all control, soaring along with the current of Mokona's magic in that beautiful space between world, it was exalting, exhilarating.

He was well aware that some hated the time spent in that limbo, because it was like careening wildly out of control with nothing to ground oneself. But Fai trusted Mokona, trusted her and her enviable ease in navigating that dangerous space, trusted her to land them safely in a safe world.

Their journeys had always been unfailingly smooth—no easy feat, he knew from experience—and whilst they had landed in water and smashed stalls countless of times, they had never: landed in the middle of the ocean with no land for miles, been deposited in volcanoes, or been dropped from a height that ensured death upon landing. Mokona's landings were comparatively precise and unerringly safe, though Kurogane might have disagreed. Fai was thus pretty content to relax in the embrace of her magic and let himself be washed away in the current.

And so, he was surprised, to say the least, when he felt the safe confines of Mokona's magic circle jolt violently mid-transportation.

"Mokona?" Syaoran called worriedly, "What's going—"

His question evolved into a sharp cry as they were jerked roughly from their path once again.

As the currents of Mokona's magic jerked once more, an impossibly vast presence smashingly made itself known to Fai's mental wards and sent him reeling.

"Th—there's something interfering with Mokona's magic." Fai shakily said, still recovering from the impact of all that magic on his magical receptors.

Quickly grounding himself, he restabilized his wards. Remembering his training with Ashura-ou in mental defense and offense, he pummeled the other magic user with his own formidable aura, knowing it would probably have the same effect as it had on him earlier. He quickly extended a small tendril of thought, slithering into a small crack in the other's mental barrier and forced it wider, squeezing his way in.

_A child in the flames. Blood pooling over white marble. Blood soaking into the carpet. Blood on the curtains and on the grass and on the burning pyres and anger and grief and loss, loneliness, bloodlust hurt hurt hurt hurt HURT!_

Then the barriers were up, and he was trapped. The other magic user began to constrict around him, crushing slow and deadly like a snake, an impossibly strong anaconda. And it was strong, terrifyingly so, even more so than even Ashura-ou had been as he had been struggling against Fai's sleeping spell with all his might.

_WHY, WHY, WHY?_

The presence raged within his mind with all the destructive force of a typhoon. Fai shrank back into a small corner of his own mind and attempted to brace himself against the enraged blows raining blindly onto him. Perhaps it had been a bad idea to dig up such traumatic memories, unintentionally or not. He began to panic as the presence began to spread further into his mind, delving into his memories in squirming tendrils. Like a tree sinking its roots into rock, spreading and squirming deeper until concrete split, the consciousness wormed in deeper. In blind rage, it could easily shred his mind to pieces. It had happened in the Celesian court once before, when he had been much younger. Ashura hadn't let him see that particular court wizard after the incident, instead locking the man all the way across the castle. The healers had come back after a few weeks, shaking their heads, and Ashura had the wizard sent quietly out of the castle to be put out of his misery. Fai had no idea what the victim must have been like to warrant Ashura's reaction, but he _did _know that he absolutely did _not _want to turn out like that. He struggled, but it continued to spread, deeper, deeper.

_Yuui._

No. Those were personal.

_Fai laughing. Fai kissing him on the cheek, snuggling into his back._

No!

_Yuui. I love you._

_Fai twining their fingers together as the court watched. Fai watching him with that strange knowing look of his in the carriage on the way to the tower._

Get out!

_Yuui. Yuui. Yuui._

Underneath, a single crack snaked across Mokona's magic circle.

_Fai's tiny fingers reaching for him from between the bars of the tower window. Fai's voice, lost in the distance between them, calling for him. Fai falling. Falling. Falling._

Get out! Get out! Get _out!_

_I love you, Yuui. Let's be together always._

The presence abruptly released him and withdrew from his mind. Fai found himself back in his physical body, wheezing and spasming slightly from the shock of _nearly being strangled to death, _thank you very much. Before he could wonder at the reason for the abrupt withdrawal, an impact against the shields surrounding jolted them again.

Below him, Mokona's magic circle shattered, and they were falling, falling, _falling..._

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><p><strong>AN: Cough. Yes I'm aware I haven't finished Frailty yet, but... BUT! I mean there are tonnes of people out there who start new chaptered stories without finishing the old ones. I can indulge myself this once, can't I? And erm. This is actually one of the only exceptions to my self-imposed "finish at least half of the story before publishing the first chapter" rule. I'll have the first chapter up soon, I hope. But the second chapter has not been written yet. Since I'm writing as I go along, updates may be like, super duper long in between. So err... Le gasp! Who is this new and strangely powerful guy whose crashed Mokona's spell? (He is not an OC, but an actual CLAMP character.) All will be revealed in time!**

**Reeee-view!**


	2. Pulled into Orbit

**Summary: The travelers have awakened amidst familiar company. Kurogane and Fai re-establish themselves as a pair of men with the sexual libido of bunnies in heat, much to Syaoran's horror.**

**Warnings:** **Kurofai, established relationship. This is post-series so spoilers for the end. There will also be spoilers for Fai's past later. Hinted TouyaYuki, Douwata, and other CLAMP pairings. Swearing, innuendo, a bit of violence later on perhaps? I'm not sure if the rating will go up in later chapters. We will see.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

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><p>He had awoken to the sounds of the birds chirping in the tree outside his window, the bustle of activity and the hum of merry conversation from the streets outside, and the clanging of kitchenware downstairs. When his memory didn't immediately come back to him, he continued to lie in the bed, blinking stupidly at the rafters above him.<p>

"Oh! You're finally awake!"

Syaoran turned groggily towards the source of the noise to see a silvery-haired man laying a tray of food down on the bedside table.

His memory came crashing back.

"High Priest!" he cried, suddenly not so sleepy anymore. He bolted out of bed and stubbed his toe as he made to bow to the man, "_Ow!_"

Yukito chuckled as the younger boy began hopping around, quickly falling back over onto the bed.

"High priest?" he asked laughingly, "I suppose you're probably still a little out of it. You and your companions were found unconscious in the village square."

His more recent memories made their appearance, and he remembered that no, he was not in Clow, he was traveling with a white magical creation that resembled a manjuu bun as well as a pair of men who seemed to have the sexual libido of bunnies in heat, judging from the number of times he'd walked in on them. _Kurogane and Fai!_

"Oh!" Syaoran cried as he remembered his two companions, bolting out of bed and feeling quite ridiculous as he did so, "Are my companions alright? Are they hurt?"

"They're fine," a voice deadpanned from the doorway, "The black one woke awhile ago, the other one and the rabbit thing are both still unconscious."

Syaoran wisely bit back the astounded 'Your Majesty!' at the sight of the dark-haired youth at the doorway, feather duster in hand, donning a fierce scowl and an _atrocious _pink and yellow polka-dotted apron to boot. Syaoran chewed on his lip, blinking in wide-eyed shock as his brain tried to reconcile the sight of Touya—_King _Touya!—in such an...interesting garb.

"Has whatever knocked him out damaged his brains?" he heard Touya ask no one in particular, "Or was he this dumb even before?"

"_To-ya!"_ Yukito scolded, but nonetheless placed a hand against Syaoran's forehead, "No fever."

"I guess it really is brain-damage or pre-existing stupidity, then."

Yukito cast a disapproving frown over at Touya.

"Is there a reason why you're here, To-ya?" he asked with all the discountenance of a displeased mother, turning around to face the other youth with his hands on his hips, "or are you just finding another reason to slack off?"

"Watanuki sent me up to tell you that you're needed in the kitchen."

Yukito raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"But with you and Watanuki-kun, there should be enough people about the kitchen," he pointed out.

Touya rolled his eyes.

"The black guy smashed the eggs," he explained, "Watanuki wants me to go out to the market and replenish our stock of eggs."

Syaoran quickly cut into conversation

"I could go out for you if you'd like," he offered guiltily, "Since it was one of my companions that caused you so much trouble."

"You?" Touya scoffed, "When you probably don't know the way out of the inn, let alone to the market?"

The brunette flushed.

"_To-ya_," Yukito chided, "He's only trying to help."

The youth in question only shrugged.

"How about this then," suggested the other kindly, "To-ya can continue in the kitchen, and I'll go to the market so that I can show you new-comers around town."

"I could show them around," Touya protested immediately, "You don't have to go."

Yukito frowned at him.

"I sincerely doubt you'd do a good job of it with the amount of hospitality you've shown our guest so far."

Touya had the sensibility to look faintly apologetic.

"You shouldn't be going out so soon, what if—"

"I'm not an invalid, To-ya," Yukito reminded him, pursing his lips, "I'm not going to die from walking a few streets down the road."

"But—"

"But _nothing,_" he interrupted, catching hold of Syaoran's arm and beginning to drag him out of the room, "You're just being paranoid again. Honestly, you're just as bad as _Watanuki-kun."_

Syaoran personally thought that was taking it a bit far from what he knew of Sakura's brother and his other half, but he wasn't going to say anything when as far as the people of this world were concerned, he didn't even know their names.

"Yuki, I don't think—"

"To-ya..." Syaoran nearly slammed into Yukito's back as he stopped abruptly in the doorway. He didn't turn, but his voice was considerably softer when he next spoke, "Don't worry, nothing's going to happen, _okay?"_

Touya was silent.

Yukito turned around, and he had a soft smile on his pale face.

"Thank you for worrying about me."

* * *

><p>"Yukito-san?"<p>

"Hmmm?"

"Why was Touya-san so worried?"

Yukito faltered abruptly mid-step and Syaoran nearly ran into him for the second time in less than an hour.

"Well," he said, chuckling as he turned to offer the two travelers an embarrassed smile, continuing forwards, "Something happened yesterday, you see, and I collapsed."

"Oh, are you unwell?" Syaoran asked worriedly, guilty for having the High Priest's look-alike show them around the town while he was ill.

"Oh no," Yukito quickly hastened to correct the younger boy, probably noticing the guilt-stricken look on his face, "I wasn't the only one who passed out yesterday."

Kurogane frowned.

"There were many people who blacked out yesterday?"

Yukito nodded over his shoulder at them.

"Mostly the magic-users," he elaborated, "Watanuki-kun and I, Subaru-kun, Kamui-kun and Kazahaya-kun too. Oh! Arashi-san as well. Sorata-san was worried."

Yukito paused, casting a wary glance towards the forest towards the other side of the town.

"There was a very large flare of magical activity coming from the forest yesterday," he explained, "So large that it caused all the magic-users in the town to lose consciousness."

Yukito threaded his fingers together nervously. Syaoran's jaw dropped.

"You felt it here too?"

Kurogane was confused by his student's incredulous outburst.

"What are you talking about, kid?"

Syaoran gestured towards the general direction of the sky.

"Remember when Mokona was transporting us here?"

"You came here by a transportation spell?" Yukito asked, hazel eyes wide and excited, "Wow! You must be from really far away!"

The brunette waved the comment away impatiently.

"That's not important," he said, "We weren't actually planning to land here. Something interfered with the spell and _forced _us here!"

"_Forced _you here?"

Syaoran nodded vigorously.

"I could feel it. There was this really powerful magical presence invading Mokona's magic circle. Fai-san fought against it, but it was too strong..." he bit his lip worriedly, "And Fai-san's one of the strongest magic-users I've ever met."

Aside from Fei-wang Reed and Yuuko, Fai was probably _the _strongest magic-user he'd ever met. But since the inn was called Butterfly Inn, and—according to Yukito—happened to be owned by a woman named Yuuko, who was currently away attending to other affairs, he wasn't going to say that out loud.

"So _that's _why," Yukito mused, "I could feel his aura the moment you landed in the village—that's actually how I found you—and I was wondering why such a powerful magic-user would have been knocked out. And for such a long time too! But if there was confrontation that would explain his exhaustion."

"I passed out as well," Syaoran admitted, "Whoever it was overloaded my magical sensors."

Kurogane looked thoughtful.

"I'm not like you magicians and wizards," he said slowly, "But I could feel someone in that space with us. Not bodily, but as if only his consciousness was there, not his physical self."

"Astral projection," Yukito breathed in admiration, sounding awed, "Only those who are really, really powerful can do that."

Syaoran didn't quite agree with that; he could do a little himself. But he supposed the Yukito of this world wasn't _nearly _as powerful as the one in his. The Yukito of his world, the High Priest of Clow, could most definitely perform astral projection as well. He _had _to be powerful in order to send him cross dimensions, even if only once. World-walking was not something Syaoran knew in theory, let alone in a practical setting. It was not something that he could grasp: the complexities of the spell needed to transport them from one dimension to another. He didn't even know what _triggered _the event, apart from the obvious, being magic. That was one of the many things he would have to ask Fai-san about one day. But the power needed to be able to cross dimensions, unlimited, it was... unimaginable. He had thought that only the Witch of Dimensions could hold such power, but apparently Fai did as well. And yet—even with that vast power he yielded—he still went back to the witch time after time, willingly paying the steep price for the wishes he did not have the power to grant for himself. What then, Syaoran wondered, did that say of the immensity of Yuuko-san's power? It was inconceivable. Thinking of it gave him a pounding headache.

Lost in thought, he failed to notice as Yukito abruptly bent over to pick the eggs from a woven wicker basket on the ground. With a startled yelp and much flailing of his limbs, Syaoran went sailing right over his back.

Well. Third time's the charm.

* * *

><p>The trio arrived back at the inn to find Watanuki raving about 'ingenious eggless pancakes' with a near maniacal gleam in his eye, looking like a mass-murderer wielding his batter-covered spatula.<p>

"It's vegan," Fai explained, wiping at a smear of flour on his face with the back of his hand, and only making it worse, "_Vegan_," he repeated slowly at Watanuki's request, pronouncing his syllables carefully, "Ve-gan."

As Fai prattled happily on about the world he had discovered the 'intriguing' recipe in, Watanuki hung onto his words like a suffocating man to oxygen.

"No eggs!" Fai exclaimed, eyes wide and glittering like stars, "And no milk!"

Kurogane felt that his lover sometimes had an interest in cooking more avid than a man ought to have. But the food was good, and neither he nor Syaoran could actually cook anything _edible_, so he said nothing. It helped that Fai looked good in an apron. Except when there were other people about, and he couldn't throw him down and fuck him. Then it was just troublesome and frustrating.

"The eggs are here!" Yukito called cheerfully as he slipped his shoes off at the door.

Kicking his own off and earning a glare from the shopkeeper's lookalike for not arranging them neatly by the side, he made a beeline into the kitchen and placed a hand lightly on Fai's back.

"You're awake," he murmured, "You 'kay?"

"Fine," the wizard replied in an undertone as he leaned subtly back into the touch, smile tender. Then it widened into a cheeky grin as he spun around and flung his arms around Kurogane's neck, squealing, "_Kyaa~!_ I knew you cared! Watanuki-kun, this is Kuro-tan. Isn't he sweet?"

"Oi! Don't introduce me like that!" the ninja roared, "It's _Kurogane!"_

"_Oh?" _Fai asked, shooting him a sly look from under his long lashes, "You don't seem to mind me calling you 'Kuro-_sama_' when you—"

Syaoran cleared his throat. Kurogane rolled his eyes and pressed a quick kiss to blonde hair.

"You're shameless."

"But you love me," Fai reminded him, pulling back from the embrace and fluttering his lashes.

Syaoran left the room, muttering something about bunnies and sap.

"Well, yes. But—What the _hell _are you _wearing?"_

The blonde looked down at himself.

"Oh!" he said, gesturing at the pink and yellow polka-dotted _monstrosity_, "You mean this?"

"It's _disgusting!"_ Kurogane told him, gingerly poking at the apron, "Take it off!"

Fai made lecherous eyes at him.

"Ooooh," he crooned, "_Frisky."_

Kurogane sighed.

"Yuuko-san's idea of a joke," Watanuki grumbled, picking at his own apron, "The sadistic old witch. I swear she—"

"Oi."

"Don't just call people 'oi' like that!" he exploded, flailing in a manner that made Fai take a step back, "I am the great Watanuki-sama! And you will refer to me as such, cretin!"

Doumeki only blinked at him stoically.

"When's lunch?"

Watanuki slumped, gaping incredulously at the sheer _audacity _of that... that... blockhead!

"I want onigiri."

The disbelief quickly transformed into rage. Kurogane left the room, dragging the wizard with him as the shopkeeper's lookalike burst into a renewed fit of flailing and yelling. As he slid the doors closed behind him, Watanuki's voice was muted to a mere muffled screeching. Fai was leaning his elbows on the railing of the verandah, smiling fondly at him. The ninja planted his hands on the railing on either side of the blonde, tilting his head down to brush a chaste kiss over pale lips, then burying his face in the side of Fai's neck.

"You sure you're alright?" he asked gruffly, "You looked really bad before you passed out."

Fai rubbed his face into the black hair at his cheek, humming contentedly.

"I'm fine now," he whispered, "The magic-user who attacked us let me go."

"Let you go?"

The wizard nodded.

"Yes. I think I accidentally dug up some really bad memories and he lost control. He… he could have killed me but he let me go," he pushed Kurogane away and snuggled into his chest, "And I don't know why."

Kurogane was baffled.

"Why he could have killed you?"

"No!" Fai smacked him across the arm and laughed, "No, I mean why he let me go."

The warrior absently thumbed the flour off of his lover's cheek.

"Probably 'cause he managed to break the manjuu's spell," he paused before adding on second thought, "Or she."

He had never really told Fai that in Nihon only women did magic.

"Probably," Fai agreed, "Probably."

And they left the conversation in favor of more…. hedonistic pursuits.

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><p><em>Yuui.<em>

_The sheets fell to his waist as he sat up. The parquet floor was invisible under a dense layer of mist that swirled and erupted like blooming flowers. From the corner of his eye, the sheer white curtains billowed out from the open windows, flapping in the breeze._

_Yuui._

_There was someone in the room, standing behind the curtain. Only a shadow could be seen through the drapes, rippling as the cloth fluttered. From behind the figure fog poured, spilling from the window sill like a ghostly waterfall. __He shivered as a cold draft blew in, lifting the light fabric of the curtains. It billowed out, and time seemed to slow in that moment when the stranger next spoke, and he could see those pale lips moving even as the curtain continued to float up, revealing the beginnings of a nose. Who? Who was it?_

_Yuui, co—_

* * *

><p>"Good morning, Kuro-sleep~y!"<p>

"_Fuck!"_

"Breakfast hasn't even started and Daddy is already being so vulgar!"

"Get back here, you damn manjuu bun! I'll eat _you _for breakfast!"

Fai fought to pry his lids open as the comfortable heat he had been cuddling against suddenly disappeared, squinting through the terribly bright morning light at his lover chasing Mokona around the room. Eventually, Mokona bounced out of the room, giggling and squealing. Kurogane stopped at the doorway, and leaned out in to the hallway to yell down the corridor at the retreating Mokona.

"Come back again, and I'll skin you alive!"

He slammed the shut, faltering as he turned around.

"You're awake."

Fai groaned and pulled the blanket over his head, curling up into a tight cocoon of covers and sheets.

"Only the dead would sleep through that," he complained muffledly.

Kurogane chuckled.

"Well, its time to get up already. C'mon."

"_No,_" Fai insisted petulantly, clutching more tightly at his covers, "I'm still sleeping."

"Oh?" Kurogane asked amusedly, feet padding nearer and nearer as he did, "Is that so?"

Fai squealed loudly, laughing as Kurogane hoisted him—blankets and all—up into his arms. He began to kick his legs as he was swung round in a circle, then screamed and clamped tightly onto the ninja's forearm with his calves as the arm supporting his back slipped away, leaving him hanging upside down.

"I'm awake! I'm awake!" he gasped through his laughter, "Let me up!"

He wrapped his arms around his lover's neck as he was brought back up, pouting up at that smirking face through the sheets tangled around his body.

"Kuro-rin is so _mean!" _he wailed, voice muffled under the cloth wrapped around his lower face, "What a terrible lover I've given myself to!"

Kurogane grinned and kissed him on the forehead, unable to get at his lips.

"I'll make it up to you," he promised, grin turning wicked, "Shower?"

Fai's pout made an immediate transformation from petulant to sultry.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Here's Kuro and Fai, acting like a married couple, except a lot...friskier. I realize I _always _write them as two dudes completely oblivious and in denial, who get together through some strange plotline post-series. Well. No more! Now this is _established _Kurofai, in the verse where they are already together in Nihon/Clow. At the beginning To-ya calls Kurogane "the black guy" or "the black one", which is a reference to Kuro's name which (as I'm sure you all already know) means black steel. Kuro—black, Gane—steel. So he's like Fai, except Fai does it to piss Kuro off, whereas Touya genuinely (or can't be bothered) can't remember Kurogane's name, except Kuro, meaning black. Therefore he calls him the black guy. No racism intended here!**

**Le gasp! What _is _that dream about? And who was standing behind the curtain? Strange horror movie setting here, I realize, but this isn't horror. In fact, categorizing this as suspense was a little _much _to begin with. I'm bad with suspense, sorry. Anyway, please do review/comment/point out stupid typos. I don't know when I'll be able to get the next chapter out. As I have said, I am writing as I post, so there won't be a fixed schedule here. Sorry!**

**But... :DDDD...**

**Reviews give me the motivation to write, so... *shot***


	3. The Woods to the East

**Summary: Fai teaches Watanuki to make creme brulee, and they run out of eggs once more. In the town square, Fai senses something strange in the woods. Later, Fai and Kurogane have a conversation about ethics, which brings up buried insecurities in the magician.**

**Warnings:** **Kurofai, established relationship. This is post-series so spoilers for the end. There will also be spoilers for Fai's past later. Hinted TouyaYuki, Douwata, and other CLAMP pairings. Swearing, innuendo, a bit of violence later on perhaps? I'm not sure if the rating will go up in later chapters. We will see.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

* * *

><p>When Kurogane came back from training sometime after the lunch peak, Syaoran right behind him, it was to the sight of Fai sitting with Watanuki at the kitchen table, wearing that terrible apron once more as he chattered incessantly. There was flour down his front, and he and the shopkeeper's lookalike were both leaning over an innocuous little porcelain cup, heads together. Then Watanuki whipped a blowtorch out from somewhere (!) and the contents of the ramekin burst into flames (!).<p>

"_Fucking shit!" _

He dashed over and pulled his lover away from the flames, wide-eyed, but Fai slapped his hands away, shushing him and staring intently at the flame.

"Shhhh!" he hushed, "We must be careful or the caramel will be burnt. I don't know about you, but I don't like my caramel burnt. It's bitter."

Kurogane spluttered, but Fai only shushed him more impatiently. Watanuki, mismatched eyes intent on the flames, moved the blowtorch in fast, even circles.

"Is this alright, Fai-san?" he asked without looking up, "Can I stop now?"

Still intent on the cup, the wizard waited two seconds before he held up his palm. Watanuki stopped the flame and leaned back, immediately looking to Fai with an expression uncannily like a puppy. The blonde leaned over, examining the slightly brown surface of whatever they'd been making. After a moment of scrutiny, he grinned and made a thumbs up at Watanuki, who lit up. He picked two teaspoons from a drawer and began to crack the caramel with the back of one, scooping it up along with some yellow goop and popping it into his mouth with a thoughtful look on his face. Kurogane cringed. He ate it. He ate the… the _thing_. The thing that they had been _holding a blowtorch to_ a moment ago. This was… this was insane.

"Mmmm," Fai all but _moaned, _"Delicious. Here, try some, Watanuki-kun!"

The teen accepted the teaspoon from him and tried some of the…thing. His face lit up.

"This… this is…" he managed around the spoon in his mouth, eyes wide, "Oh, what is this called? It's _heavenly!"_

"La petite mort," Fai gasped with a strange accent, taking another spoonful of the custard, and swooning melodramatically, "La petite mort: _that's _what this is."

Syaoran, who had been standing at the doorway, choked and scuttled away as quickly as he could, face bright red. Watanuki immediately grabbed the quill sitting beside a paper covered in writings, scribbling something at the top. Fai yelped and stopped him.

"No, no," he laughed, "I was kidding. It's called creme brulee."

Fai scooped out a generous lump of wobbling yellow jelly, mixed with the broken caramel, and turned to Kurogane.

"Try it, Kuro-chi!"

The magician popped the teaspoon into his mouth without waiting for a reply, looking expectantly at him. He made a face, but swallowed it anyway, because it was rude to spit things out, even if he didn't like it. And because it would hurt Fai's feelings.

"It's too sweet."

"Blasphemy!" Watanuki cried.

Fai merely sighed, holding a hand to his chest like the drama-queen he was.

"Oh! La petite mort!" he repeated again, staggering back into his chair, "What a lover I have!"

He stuck the teaspoon in his mouth and turned away sulkily.

"I suppose you'd be one of those people to like your creme brulee all burnt and _bitter," _he mumbled around the spoon.

He lit up, and shot out of his seat, snuggling onto the front of Kurogane's shirt.

"But you'd try it if it were burnt, yes?"

"What?"

"That's it!" Fai cried, jabbing a finger into the air, "We need to make some burnt creme brulee for you!"

"_What?_"

But that blonde _idiot _had already rubbed his flour-smeared face off on his apron (in his defense, the flour on the apron coated his face evenly in white, making him look clean, albeit a little whiter than usual) and grabbed Watanuki, pulling on a random coat from the coat rack as he made for the door.

"Eggs!" he announced, "We need to buy eggs!"

"_What?" _Kurogane roared, "We bought eggs _yesterday!"_

"Ran out," Fai explained, pulling at the door, "The creme brulee was a hit with the customers."

"It says 'push'," the ninja pointed out, momentarily distracted by his lover's antics, "Not 'pull', idiot."

Fai pushed, and the door swung open with a bang.

"You know I can't read it," he said in a preoccupied tone, pulling Watanuki along, "See you later, Kuro-pin!"

The door swung slowly back in, and Kurogane ran forward and caught it before it could close. He was _not _going to leave Fai unsupervised after his fainting episode yesterday.

"Oi. _Oi!" _he yelled out after them, "I'm going too!"

He slammed the door shut behind him.

* * *

><p>Concentrate. Weight distributed evenly. Feet flat on the floor. Feel the connection, down his spine, to his base, to the earth. <em>Move. <em>Cut. Parry. Move back, bouncing easily on the balls of his feet. Jump, tumble, roll up onto his feet again. Lunge. Dance back. Slice. Parry. Dodge. Throw himself to the side. Up the wall. One step. Two steps.

Momentum failed him, and Syaoran dropped gracelessly to the floor. How _did _Fai-san do it? The man defied gravity with the way he leaped and flung himself about, making fighting look like dancing, and running up walls. Which Syaoran had been trying to do. How did Fai-san make running up vertical surfaces look so damn easy? It was impossibly graceful, the way he darted up, springing backwards off the wall into a flip, and then touching down as silent as a cat.

"Syao~ran!"

Mokona leaped out of a window on the second floor, bouncing off the grass once before landing neatly in his palm.

"You're another one, Mokona," he panted, "Defying gravity like its actually _normal."_

"Mokona is everyone's idol!" Mokona preened.

"Hai, hai," Syaoran agreed, leaning his weight onto one hand, "How _do _you do it, Mokona?"

The magical creature only giggled and winked outrageously at him.

"It's a se~cret!"

Chuckling, the brunette flopped backwards into the grass, and Mokona hopped down onto his chest, leaning over his face. Syaoran smiled fondly at her.

"Are you alright, Moko-chan?" he asked, adopting Sakura's affectionate nickname, "You were out for a pretty long time."

"That magic-user was strong, but Mokona is okay now!"

"Did it hurt?"

Mokona's ears drooped in confusion.

"Hurt?" she questioned.

Syaoran nodded.

"When he broke your spell," he explained, "The magical backlash must have hurt a lot. I'm glad you're alright now."

Mokona thumped a tiny paw against her chest.

"One of Mokona's 108 secret abilities!" she cried proudly, "Super regenerative abilities!"

"Like Fai?"

The critter giggled.

"Like Fai."

* * *

><p>"There's something in the woods."<p>

Kurogane faltered.

"What?"

He turned, and his lover had stopped a few paces behind them, face turned to the side. His eyes were half-lidded, coral lips slightly parted, head tilted. It was a strange expression. It was the expression he wore when he'd just woken up in the morning, and was still orientating himself to reality. Either that, or when he lay satiated in bed, though there was always a hint of bliss to the expression then. It was a strange expression, completely out of place in this setting, and Kurogane couldn't understand what could have brought that expression to his face.

"There's something in the woods," the blonde whispered, taking a step forward in a manner one did when catching himself from a fall.

"You can feel it, too?" Watanuki asked, sounding awed and excited.

Fai blinked, and suddenly he was back to normal. He looked disturbed.

"Yes," he answered, "In the woods to the east."

He turned his face again towards the woods, this time a look of confused aggravation on his face.

"I can feel it, it's pulsing, and rolling, and erupting," he murmured, "Like clouds. Like mist. I don't understand. I _don't understand."_

He sounded genuinely frustrated by the fact, a rare thing for the blonde magician. But Kurogane supposed there must be a first time for everything, even if you _were _an insane genius of a wizard—who acted daft the majority of the time, yes, but was an insane genius nonetheless.

"There's something in the woods," Watanuki said, "Something terrible."

"But, what?" Fai cried, "What is it?"

Watanuki shook his head.

"No one knows," he whispered, "Because no one who goes in, ever returns."

* * *

><p>Fai had been strangely quiet on the way back after that, and while Kurogane had been helping Watanuki to load the eggs into the fridge, he had slipped off.<p>

When Kurogane finally found him, candle in hand, the sun was already beginning to disappear below the horizon of little thatch-roofed cottages. Fai had opened the window of their room and was sitting right on the window sill, looking out towards the eastern woods, one leg pulled up to his chest and the other dangling down. His toes brushed lazily back and forth across the wooden floor, almost like the tail of a dozing cat. Behind him, the sky was a light purple, lightly scattered with faintly glowing stars, and the sun cast its dying rays softly on his face. The light was too weak to reach into the room, dark with the lack of a flame, and at the far end of that dark room, Fai seemed to glow as if his skin were embedded with embers. It was like he was in flames, like he was the sun itself, like he was some deity—a fire sprite.

Then the sun dipped down, below the line of cottages, and the moment passed. Indigo blanketed over the sky, stifling all light but the shine of the stars and the moon. Candles began to flicker within the windows of the cottages as the last of the villagers shut their doors behind them. In the darkness, Fai's voice was a quiet, melodic thing.

_'And into the eastern woods, a maiden wandered,  
><em>_Far beyond the civil lands.  
><em>_Where robbers hid the riches they plundered,  
><em>_And by the fay were reduced to sand.'_

Kurogane raised an eyebrow.

"The maiden was reduced to sand? Or the robbers?"

Fai did not turn.

"I don't know," he said, "It was a Celesian folk song sung to children to warn them not to wander off, lest they be eaten by evil spirits."

"How can you know the spirits were evil if you're not sure whether they killed the maiden or the robbers? The maiden was innocent, but the robbers deserved it."

"But what if it killed all of them," Fai murmured, "Because it was afraid they'd hurt others. Was the spirit then wicked or good?"

Kurogane set the candle down on the bedside table.

"What do you mean?"

Fai exhaled, slowly and quietly—like a sigh.

"I've never seen a deer kill another deer, a mouse kill another mouse, or an owl kill another owl. I've never seen a lion kill a deer out of spite, or greed, or sadism. I've never seen a goat unwilling to share its grass, nor a raven unwilling to share its carcass," he explained quietly, "Humans, on the other hand, are capable of the wickedest of things."

"So what's your point?"

Finally, the wizard turned to him with a sad smile.

"Can we blame the woods for wanting to keep humans out?"

Kurogane faltered.

"All sentient beings are able of committing the most terrible of crimes," Fai whispered, "Because they all thought it was for the best."

"But how could they all have thought it was for the best?" the ninja exploded, "Fei-Wang Reed ruined so many lives, he killed your brother and my parents, scattered the princess' soul, and now the kid can never go home! _Was that for the best?"_

The blonde blinked, looking at him as if seeing him for the first time.

"I'd forgotten how young you were," Fai smiled, "Kuro-sama shouldn't scowl so much. It makes him look old."

The warrior bristled, but Fai turned away again, speaking out before he could begin to yell at him about the 'young' comment.

"You kill people," It was not a question, "Why?"

Well, _that _was obvious.

"To protect Tomoyo, of course."

"Why?"

Because bad things would happen if she died. But that sounded childish, and Fai would call him young again. So instead, Kurogane thought for a moment of how to put it into better words; he had never been good with words.

"Because," he began slowly, carefully "If she dies, the rebels will take over, the foreigners will intrude, and there will be a civil war." Yes. Exactly. More confidently Kurogane continued, "If she dies, Nihon will fall."

"So you thought it was for the best?"

He grasped for an argument, but found none.

"Do committing wicked deeds with good intentions make you wicked?" Fai curled up on the ledge, burying his face in his knees, "Because if it does, then I must be the wickedest person out there. I lied to you, would have killed you, would have let the cosmos fall to ruin. All because I wanted to bring Fai back."

Kurogane winced at the miserable tone of his voice.

"And I don't even know if that was a good-intentioned wish, or a good-intentioned wish made for selfish reasons."

The wizard's voice cracked, and the sound was like the _crack _of a breaking heart. He strode forward and yanked Fai off the window-sill, into his arms.

"If there's one thing I know, it's that you're not wicked," he murmured, "So that must mean that doing wicked things with good intentions doesn't make people wicked after all."

"But that must mean that there is no one truly wicked."

"Alright then," Kurogane agreed, "There is no one truly wicked."

"But that means that Fei-Wang Reed wasn't wicked. And the people who locked me and Fai up, they weren't wicked too," the wizard all but sobbed, "That means I'm wrong, because I still can't forgive them for all that they did to me."

The shinobi steered them over to the bed, since they were both in comfortable enough clothes anyway, and spooned up behind his lover.

"Then say that they're wicked."

"But if they were wicked, that means I'm wicked as well," Fai gasped, "Then, I deserved it. Because I was wicked. They weren't wrong to lock me up. _I deserved it._"

"Stop it."

"But I can't, I—"

"_Stop," _Kurogane snarled, "All these thoughts aren't good for you. Just go to sleep and _stop thinking about it_."

Fai sniffled, then turned and buried his face into Kurogane's shirt.

"Alright."

Kurogane turned and blew the candle out. And in the darkness, he wiped Fai's tears away.

* * *

><p><em>There was someone behind the curtain. The faceless stranger stood, unmoving. The sheer fabric of the curtain blew out, blew in, blew out, blew in. Against the face, features showed through the cloth. Browbones, cheekbones, nosebridge, the shape of lips, the jutting chin. But always before he could properly see the structure of the stranger's face through the drapes, it blew out again, becoming formless before falling back once more. So close, so close. He could just reach out, and the answer would be at his fingertips.<em>

_Yuui._

_Who? Who was it? Who was standing behind the curtain? He almost had it. If the curtain stayed for just a moment longer, he would know. He would know the answer. He sat up, allowing the sheets to fall around him once more. The stranger continued to stand, unmoving, faceless eyes watching him. He had to know. Who was it? Who was it? He swung his legs off the side of the bed, losing sight of his own feet as they dipped into the mist and—_

* * *

><p>Something tugged him by the elbow, back into bed. Fai turned his head to the side blinked as he was met with the sight of Kurogane's grouchy puppy face.<p>

"Where the hell are you going in the middle of the night?"

Fai blinked some more, then realized he had collapsed backwards onto Kurogane when he had been pulled back. His head rested on his lover's belly but his legs were dangling off the side of the bed, toes brushing the floor, perfectly visible. He quickly tugged them up, and looked to the window. The curtains were still, the windows closed, the room free of fog. There was no one behind the curtain.

"_Oi."_

Fai sat up, hair tumbling down his shoulders as he pulled his legs towards him, curling them by his side. He lightly placed a hand on Kurogane's chest, and leaning his weight on it, lowered his face to kiss him.

"Nowhere," he answered quietly, and a little belatedly, "Nowhere at all."

Kurogane caught his wrist as he made to sit up again, yanking him down. He tumbled down into the sheets, and the ninja adjusted him so that he was laying with his head on his chest, blonde hair splayed over tanned collarbones. He snaked one arm around Fai, pulling him against his side, and with his free hand intertwined their fingers on his chest.

"Then come back to bed."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: La petite mort. A french phrase translated to mean, "the little death". It is a metaphor for orgasm, (which is why Syaoran was so embarrassed) but can also be used when referring to a highly upsetting event. Think of those "died a little inside" moments. Fai here first uses it to describe creme brulee as orgasmic (cough), then later uses it when Kurogane disses his cooking as if to say "What a lover I have! I die a little inside to hear his ignorance." Not sure if I used it right though. On a side note, sorry for miserably distraught Fai, but I just never felt right about how Fai simply (seemingly) forgave and forgot post-Celes. With all that's been done to him, I don't think it would be easy for him to forgive. And with his self-destructive tendencies and guilt complex, he'd probably go round and round in circles like that. (Generally, self-destructive people have thought processes like that, where every possible path ends in a "die" situation. And there's no way out.) This fic is going to be exploring a little more of ethics and Fai's complex emotions than I normally go into. Sorry if that bothers you.**

**Anyway, if you see any typos, or anything that particularly bothers you, just tell me about it! Thanks for putting up with my short chapters, people. I know that my chapters are really short, but I really am breaking my chapters down a lot so that I can offer more regular updates, what with my busy school schedule and all. That aside, I can try to write longer chapters from now on, but I cannot guarantee that it will work out! Thanks for reading, and for those who have reviewed, thanks for reviewing!**

**Thanks again, and for those who haven't, please REVIEW!**

****Update 04/04/12: Sorry guys, but there is Something Very Wrong with FF. net right now. I've tried deleting and reposting a few time, but it just won't appear on the archive, and when it finally did, it wasn't visible. Sorry!****


	4. A Festival and a Bard

**Summary: Fai learns about a bard and a festival. He interrupts Kurogane during training to wheedle him into going with him, and in the process, traumatizes Syaoran. In his dreams, he sleepwalks out into the hallway but is woken by his lover.**

**Warnings:** **Kurofai, established relationship. This is post-series so spoilers for the end. There will also be spoilers for Fai's past later. Hinted TouyaYuki, Douwata, and other CLAMP pairings. Swearing, innuendo, a bit of violence later on perhaps? I'm not sure if the rating will go up in later chapters. We will see.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

* * *

><p>It was not by Mokona that they were woken the next morning, but by the glare of the sun, shining through a gap in the thin curtains. Kurogane opened his eyes to the sight of his lover's sleeping face, lashes resting lightly on his pale cheeks. The sunlight filtered onto them through the leaves of the tree outside their window, and the dapples of light on Fai's blonde hair—tumbling in curls and wavy locks over their pillow—gilded the wheat, almost platinum, strands into a fiery gold. He was beautiful, and Kurogane couldn't help but slide forward across the sheets to dust a light kiss against that faintly freckled nose.<p>

The blonde wrinkled his nose slightly—Kurogane felt himself melting, coming undone—but did not wake up. He had not the heart to wake the wizard up, thinking of his devastation the night before, so he pressed one last kiss to the corner of pale lips, then slipped out of their bed. On the way out, the ninja quietly drew the curtains together, blocking out that small sliver of the blue sky and green leaves, so that Fai would not be awakened later when the sun moved higher into the sky. (He prayed Mokona was not hiding somewhere, about to jump out in a moment to tease him for being a considerate lover; he still had a reputation to uphold.)

As Kurogane closed the door behind him, he sighed contentedly—as contentedly as his usual grumpiness would allow him. It was a tranquil morning, with the tranquil breeze flowing through the inn and the tranquil sounds of the chirping sparrows coming in from outside, alongside the tranquil sounds of quiet human activity and the tranquil rustle of leaves in the wind. His feet padded softly on the homely, wooden flooring in the corridor, as he made his way for the stairwell down the hallway for breakfast. It was nice that he did not have to wake Fai for breakfast as he usually did, since neither he nor Syaoran could cook. But here, in this world, there was Watanuki and the other staff to prepare breakfast, and he needn't disturb his lover to satiate his hunger. For the first time in a long time, he would be able to bring some food up to Fai instead; though he had to be quiet, or Mokona would never let him live it down. But it was a nice way to cheer his lover up, and a lovely start to the day. Yes, truly, he mused as he turned around the corner to make his descent to the first floor, today was a good day, a wonderful, wonderful day.

"Wait there, Seishirou-san!" someone cried, a blur of midnight-blue dressing gown, pale skin, and black hair, "I'm not decent!"

"You look perfectly decent to me," Kurogane groused, moving to the side to allow the young man to rush past him.

The man seemed not to have heard him, rushing down the hallway and slamming the door of his room behind him, dressing-gown fluttering about his bare ankles. Kurogane continued down the stairs, towards the quiet chatter and clinking of cutlery coming from the breakfast area. He could see the staff sitting around in their pajamas and dressing gowns, some stuffing breakfast down, some curled up in the wide window sills that the inn's first floor seemed to have, some reading, some just chattering. It would be quite awhile before the first customers came down, so he supposed this was their allocated morning-small-talk time. The only exception in the sea of nightgowns was the man standing at the door in a long coat with polished buttons and black dress-pants, holding a ebony cane and in the process of taking his hat off.

"Sei-chan," a girl lounging on a nearby table in a frilly pink nightgown piped, "You should really be a little more forward with my brother!"

And she looked exactly like one of the vampire twins they had met in Tokyo.

"I wouldn't wish to bring Subaru-kun any distress with my forwardness, Hokuto-chan," the gentlemanly figure said, hanging his hat on the hat rack. He slipped his coat off his shoulders, turning as he spoke to the girl, and Kurogane froze on the first-floor landing as he recognized the man's profile.

"You!" he cried, pointing at the man, the vampire hunter, "What are _you _doing here?"

"Courting Subaru," someone answered disgruntledly, and Kurogane traced the voice to the other vampire twin, eating toast opposite Syaoran.

"Do I know you?" the vampire hunter asked politely, turning to face the ninja as he inclined his head. Both of his eyes were a sharp golden-brown, like a hawk's. Kurogane suddenly realized that this probably was the vampire hunter of _this _world, even if the one they had met had the power to travel dimensions.

"No," Kurogane replied grudgingly, glaring darkly at the…. _gentleman,_ "Thought you were some bastard I've met before."

Syaoran choked on his tea. A boy who appeared to be in his late teens, with light-brown hair and a fringe so long that it fell past his chin, thumped him on the back. Seishirou was saved from answering when Subaru came running down the stairs, in a white button-down shirt and a black waiter's vest. Over it, he was wearing that same frilly _pink and yellow apron. _

"Seishirou-san," he greeted shyly, completely unlike the sad, perpetually melancholic vampire they had met in Tokyo.

"Subaru-kun," the gentleman greeted kindly, looking him up and down, "You're wearing that apron again. My Subaru-kun looks pretty in that apron."

"And you have a truly brilliant sense of fashion," Kurogane shot, "That apron is _hideous!"_

Fai came bouncing down the stairs.

"Kuro-lover didn't wake me up!"

Wearing the apron.

Kurogane wanted to smack himself in the forehead as Fai latched onto his arm, snuggling and purring like a goddamned _cat. _Seishirou raised an eyebrow at him, looking for all the world like he was trying not to smirk. Subaru was hanging off his arm, as if mirroring Fai.

"Your _lover," _he drawled, "Is wearing that 'hideous' apron."

* * *

><p>"Hey."<p>

The young man at the sink blinked, turning to look at him with bright green eyes. Fai recognized him—with an unpleasant pang of something—for one of the vampire twins they'd met in Tokyo. He couldn't quite remember his name though; he had been… _busy. _Busy having his eye torn out, and busy being turned, quite painfully he might add. The lookalike smiled a charming smile. So charming that Fai felt guilty at the disappointment he had originally felt when he realized the kitchen was occupied.

"Hey," he returned cordially, then turned back to the dishes.

Fai entered the kitchen, dawdling about the table for a bit before he opened the fridge, then closed it again. He hesitated, then drew up a chair and made as if to sit down. Abruptly changing his mind, he left the chair as it was, then wandered over to the window, playing with the tendrils of the vines that hung from the windowsill for a while. Then he returned back to the table, and sat. He fidgeted for a moment, hands feeling oddly empty, then he got up and began searching through the drawers, checking for blunt knives. If he he had been alone, he would probably have sat at the table and stared at his hands, twiddled his thumbs, picked at his nails, or something to that effect. But with an observer, he felt truly out of place, sitting in the _kitchen _of all places, doing nothing.

"Are you looking for something?"

Damn. He had been trying to avoid that question.

"No, not at all," he laughed, "I'm checking for blunt knives."

That sounded weak even to himself, but he didn't really want anyone to know that he was loitering in the kitchen (how pathetic) because he didn't feel comfortable sitting out in the lobby. It was strange and unfamiliar with all its chattering customers and bustling staff. Here, in the kitchen; this was familiar, this was _his_ territory, this was where he was most at home. But under the scrutiny of this boy, with his wide green eyes, innocent smile, and ridiculous apron, he felt like an intruder. And an intruder he was, a cuckoo in a nest of chicks, a heron in a flock of ducks, a screw in a box of bolts.

A prince in a kitchen.

Feeling more awkward by the second, he desperately grasped at a justification for his presence here, but could find none. Gods, he had just been trying to find a comfortable place to sit and think for a bit, was that too much to ask?

"Hey, it's alright," the young man assured him, "I understand. The lobby can get a bit noisy at times. Hangover?"

Fai quickly seized the excuse he had been given.

"Yes, oh yes," he agreed hastily, "The noise out there is killing me. My head is _pounding._"

The lookalike laughed, arms still submerged to his elbows in soapy dishwater.

"I always take kitchen-duty when I've had too much to drink," he said cheerfully, "Waiting tables is hell with a hangover."

Fai couldn't really tell if the boy truly believed him, or if he was merely giving him an easy way out of admitting something that clearly made him uncomfortable. He couldn't read him, especially when he was facing the other direction, still scrubbing diligently at the dishes and cutlery. Whatever it had been, he felt ridiculously thankful for the excuse.

"Do you need help with that?"

The young man turned, blinking at him and Fai felt a little stupid. He could sense the magic in the boy, same as the magic in Watanuki, as well as almost every other staff member in the inn. It was rather strange that all the magic-users were converged at one place, but they never seemed to use much of their magic. Not for mundane tasks like this in any case.

"You can help if you'd like," the boy chirped with that same innocent smile, "But _slowly, _I don't particularly want to go out and wait tables. We've got a lot of people from other villages today, and some of them travelers are pretty difficult customers."

"Is that so?" Fai laughed, "I'm a traveler myself, but I'm more of a charity case than a customer."

The young man looked confused for a moment before his face lit up in understanding.

"Oh!" he cried excitedly, "You're one of the travelers that Yukito found in the town square!"

"That's me!" Fai cheered, "Fai D. Flourite. At your service!"

He held the sides of his apron like a skirt, curtsying and batting his eyelashes exaggeratedly. The boy laughed at his antics.

"I'm Subaru," he offered, "Subaru Sumeragi."

"Charmed," Fai returned politely, reaching out to shake his hand. Subaru hesitated.

"My hands are soapy," he warned, holding his hands up to demonstrate his point.

The wizard grinned, then plunged his hands into the dishwater as well.

"Well, will you look at that?" he clasped Subaru's hands in both of his own and shook them hard, smiling an inane smile the whole time, "My hands are soapy too! Looks like it doesn't matter after all."

Subaru laughed and shook his head as he passed Fai his washcloth.

"You should do marketing for us instead of washing dishes," he told the blonde, "I bet you could save us a whole lot off the groceries by charming those ladies at the market."

Fai began to scrub at the dishes with fervor.

"Oh, but I went yesterday," he announced cheerfully, "Watanuki gave me a mini-tour of the town square."

Subaru rinsed his hands, and set about finding a dry cloth.

"Well, how are you finding the place?"

"Homely," Fai replied, "Much homelier than a lot of the bigger cities I've been to. The people are friendly, and I really like the landscape here. Very quaint. Picturesque."

"Well, it's a small town here," Subaru told him, voice muffled from where he was bent over, rummaging through a kitchen cabinet, "But I like it."

He emerged with a clean cloth, and returned to the sink, beginning to rinse and dry off the done dishes.

"It's peaceful here," he continued absently, "There's of course that oddity with the magical flare in the forest the other day, but nothing like that's happened in a long time."

"What do you think that's about?" Fai asked, maybe a little too quickly. But those woods had caught his attention.

Subaru shrugged.

"Could be a bunch of things. There's always been a strange power coming from there," he paused, blinking, then looking sheepish, "But I'm sure you've already sensed that for yourself."

"I can sense it," the wizard said, "But it feels strange."

"Like fog," Subaru added, looking at him with wide eyes.

"Exactly!"

"No one knows what it is," Subaru explained, "Though there are plenty of stories."

Fai's curiosity was piqued.

"Stories?"

Subaru nodded.

"Fairytales, folksongs, old superstitions," he elaborated, "You can ask the bard at the pub down the street; she wheedles plenty of stories from travelers."

"What's the name of the pub?"

"Clover," Subaru told him, "Ask for Oruha-san."

What a… coincidence, Fai thought, remembering the singer from the bar in Outo. He wondered why they were always seeking information from her. Hitsuzen probably, as the Witch of Dimensions would have said, had she still been around.

"I'll make sure to do that," he said thoughtfully, before he brightened up, "Maybe I'll drag Kuro-rin along with me!"

"Rin?" Subaru asked, eyes widening, "Your lover?"

"Yep!" Fai chirped, "The one who was harassing yours this morning."

Subaru made a small_ 'meep'_ sound, and dropped the plate he was holding; it cracked into three pieces. Subaru ducked down to gingerly pick the porcelain shards up, quickly repairing it with a burst of magic, then stacked the plate on top of the others.

"Seishirou-san isn't my lover," he mumbled, face flaming red.

"Oh?" Fai asked slyly, "Sounds like someone is in deni~al!"

"We aren't!" he cried, "Really!"

"Of course not," the blonde agreed easily, grinning away.

If possible, Subaru turned even redder.

_"Fai-san!" _he wailed, dropping his face into his hands. When he next spoke, his voice was muffled, "Don't tease me. You're as bad as Hokuto-chan."

Fai continued to scrub at the dishes, unable to keep the grin off his face as he noted the crimson hue of Subaru's ears, peeking out through his black hair.

"Alright, alright," he conceded, chuckling, "I'll stop. I'll stop."

Wide green eyes made their appearance through long fingers.

"The festival leading up to Midsummer's starting tomorrow," he mumbled through his fingers, "You should bring your lover with you and stop by the festival on the way."

"Is Seishirou-san bringing you?"

Those eyes disappeared behind Subaru's hands once more.

"_Fai-san!"_

"He isn't?" Fai asked, still grinning, "_Really?"_

There was a moment of silence. Then…

"He is."

"Ho-hum-ho!" Fai sang gayly, "Ta-rara-boo!"

"_Fai-_san!"

"But I haven't said anything!"

* * *

><p>"That's good, nice footwork," Kurogane appraised, "But you need to put more force behind your blows."<p>

Syaoran's hold tightened on the hilt of his blade, pursing his lips in determination.

"Hai."

"You normally use magic with your sword?"

Syaoran blinked, grip loosening.

"Eh?"

"You reinforce your blows with magic, right?"

"Hai."

Kurogane slapped the side of the blade, and Syaoran almost dropped the sword, taken off-guard.

"I'm not gonna tell you not to use magic," he sighed, "But don't get complacent with your swordsmanship simply because you have magic to back it up. You need to be good at _everything _to be the best."

"Hai, Kurogane-san!" Syaoran said, straightening with conviction, "I will work harder on my swordsmanship!"

Kurogane chuckled at the boy's seriousness.

"Alright then," he slid easily into a battle stance, "Come at me."

"Ku~ro-rin!"

The man in question staggered forward as a warm, lithe body collided into his back with all the force of a large lion cub. Syaoran faltered mid-charge, arms waving ungracefully as he tried to nullify the momentum of his movements.

"_Oi!" _Kurogane roared, turning around to toss the rubbing, snuggling, _purring _magician off his back; Fai's arms wound even more tightly around his neck, like a pair of slippery tentacles, "That's dangerous! Seriously mage, don't you ever _think _about what you're doing? I'm handling a sword here. I could have hurt you! What if—"

Fai pecked him on the lips.

Kurogane deflated. Syaoran spluttered and whipped about, staring determinedly at the other side of the courtyard. The blonde placed their faces close together, and kissed him twice more. Kurogane let him, because Fai wasn't normally _this _affectionate in front of the kid, and he was being like this now, there was probably a reason for it. Finally, Fai laid his head on the ninja's shoulder, nosing into the junction between neck and shoulder.

"Midsummer festival's tomorrow," he murmured, "Let's go together."

Kurogane didn't like festivals, but the mage did, and the festivities would be good for him with how down he had been yesterday.

"Alright."

Fai's arms tightened around his neck.

"I was thinking we could stop by on the way to the pub."

Kurogane frowned.

"You want to go drinking?"

The shinobi couldn't see it, but he could feel his lover shaking his head against his collarbone.

"No, I want to talk to the bard about the forest," he whispered, "Her name is Oruha."

"The singer from Outo?" Kurogane asked, surprised.

"Yes."

He supposed that if nosing about could help Fai find closure with that moral dilemma of his, then it was worth it.

"Alright then," he agreed softly, "We'll go tomorrow."

Fai nuzzled into tanned skin, with a soft hum of… contentment or acknowledgement, Kurogane couldn't really tell.

"Kuro-sama is so good to me," he murmured, and Kurogane grinned.

He was _so_ whipped.

"But if you get drunk and start acting strange again," he groused, "We're going straight home."

Fai giggled, and drew back from the embrace.

"Hai, hai!" he cried, throwing his hands up into the air, "Such a wonderful lover I have, escorting me to the pub and to the festival! _Really_, I should…"

And here his voice dropped an octave into rich seduction. His arms snaked back around Kurogane's neck.

"…properly _reward_ you."

Kurogane choked as the blonde's knee nudged into a highly _sensitive _place. Syaoran made a high-pitched sound, not unlike the sound of a mouse dying of fright, and ran off into the inn with his fingers plugged into his ears, singing tonelessly at the top of his lungs.

* * *

><p><em>Yuui.<em>

_He immediately sat up, eyes snapping open. There was someone behind the curtain, the mist rising up higher and higher from the window. He swung his legs off the side of the bed, fog obscuring all sight of his own legs up to the knee. Suddenly, the curtain billowed forward, and he took a step back in fright as the stranger shot towards him, gliding smoothly across the floor like a ghost. Moving against the curtain, all he could see of the stranger was the outline of a white face in the curtain, eerily faceless as it slid forward towards him. He flinched back, eyes screwing shut in reflex as the figure charged towards him, hollowed empty eyes staring straight into him._

_Yuui._

_He blinked his eyes opened to see a flicker of gleaming white disappearing by his side. He whipped around, trying to follow the stranger. The white hem of some sort of gown flicked around the edge of the doorframe. Wait! He gave chase. He had to know. Had to know the answer._

_Come to me._

_He darted out of the door, and there was a strange humming coming from behind him. But that wasn't important, what was important was finding the answer. So he ignored it in favor of sprinting down the hallway towards that flicker of pale skin going down the stairs. For some strange reason, the crash of his feet against the floor was not synchronized with his movements. Not that he could tell with the smog swimming around his legs. And he ran lightly to begin with, so why…? _

_Come to me, Yuui. Come to me._

_Something yanked at the back of his nightgown, bringing him spinning around to crash against a hard wall. Something was shaking him. Shake, shake shake, sha—_

* * *

><p>"Oi<em>," <em>Kurogane called a little louder, "Have you gone _deaf _or something, mage? For the last time, where the _hell _are you running off to in the middle of the night?"

Fai blinked.

They were in the hallway, and Kurogane was holding him, looking sleepy and disgruntled. Had he…. _sleepwalked _all the way out here? He had _never _had a sleepwalking problem before!

_"Oi!"_

The wizard quickly snapped back to earth at his lover's impatient prompting. He smiled.

"I'm going to the bathroom," he explained.

Kurogane looked at him skeptically.

"We have an adjoined bathroom, _remember?"_

Fai internally cringed. That was a bad excuse.

"Oh!" he said instead, eyes widening, "I'd forgotten we had one."

There was a moment of silence, where he fervently prayed to whatever deity he could conjure up. Then Kurogane sighed, and kissed his hair. The magician tried not to let his relief show.

"You're always such an idiot when you first wake up," he grumbled, affection leaking through in the form of a fond exasperation. Fai smiled sweetly at him through his lashes, and latched onto him, squeezing his arms around Kurogane's waist.

"But I'm _your _idiot," he sang, quietly so as to not wake to other inhabitants of the inn, and Kurogane kissed him again.

When they parted, Fai laughed and danced back to the room, skipping into the bathroom and closing the door to the sight of Kurogane's exasperated face. He slumped against the door, and slid to the floor. His face was white and frightened in the mirror. The stranger's voice echoed in his head.

_Come to me._

* * *

><p><strong>AN: For those who haven't read Tokyo Babylon or X1999 (where Subaru and Kamui originally come from) Hokuto is Subaru's twin sister. Sorry, I realize that the story is moving very slowly, but there will be a little more drama in the next chapter if that makes you feel better! On a more unfortunate note, I have my midyears next week and the week after, so I cannot confirm if I will update next week. If I don't, I will post two chapters on the same day the week after! (And if I cannot post the week after, I will post three chapters the week after that. Or I may only post one, and post two the week after that.) I'm trying to keep to a schedule of a chapter a week, so yeah. BTW, for those who HAVE read TB or X, Subaru is still his pre-Seishirou-reveals-true-colors!self, all bubbly and innocent and shy. The cold Subaru of X broke my heart, so in happier settings I try to keep him a little more to the side of early TB. Oh, and Fai is still slightly disturbed, but he's trying to get over it here, so sorry for conflicting behaviors from him (e.g. snuggly!Fai to uncomfortable!Fai to teasing!Fai to clingy!Fai to frightened!Fai). And it looks like there is a more sinister reason for his dreams than originally expected!...Or did you people already guess that? *sigh* Readers are much too perceptive for their own good.**

**Again, please review!**


	5. Gravity

**Summary: Syaoran meets Kamui and Mokona receives a reminder from Watanuki. Kurogane and Fai enjoy themselves at the festival, and there is a commotion with Subaru and Seishirou. In the chaos, Fai disappears. Later, they agree to leave the very next day.**

**Warnings:** **Kurofai, established relationship. This is post-series so spoilers for the end. There will also be spoilers for Fai's past later. Hinted TouyaYuki, Douwata, and other CLAMP pairings. Swearing, innuendo, a bit of violence later on perhaps? I'm not sure if the rating will go up in later chapters. We will see.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

* * *

><p>Syaoran blinked, faltering on the stairs. The candle Kakei-san, the manager, had given him, was balanced precariously on the stack of books, shoes, staffs, picture frames, music boxes, jars, rags and… feather boa scarves? he held in his arms. It flickered out in the darkness of the storeroom, and lit up a pale, almost nymphlike face. The boy was scowling up at him, squinting against the light with small, narrow eyes.<p>

"Turn down your damn lamp," he groused, probably unable to see the candle in the brightness, "It's too bright."

Syaoran noticed the paraffin lamp glowing faintly on a crate beside the boy, so he blew the candle out. The room darkened, now lit only by the light of the lamp, trimmed to a pleasantly dim flame. The boy's eyes widened in the darkness, startlingly violet pupils dilating. He was strangely pretty for a guy, sort of like Fai-san. It didn't quite match with his disgruntled tone, and slightly vulgar curtness.

"Sorry," Syaoran said sheepishly, "Kakei-san only gave me a candle."

The boy ignored him, continuing straight on.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Pretty like Fai-san. Gruff like Kurogane-san.

"Kakei-san asked me to help clean up the storeroom."

His companion frowned, and Syaoran realized him—with a pang of recognition—to be the vampire from Tokyo.

"I didn't know there would be someone else here."

Syaoran shrugged and set the things down on the floor, dusting himself off.

"I didn't know there would be someone else here either."

There was a moment of silence, then Syaoran stuck his hand out.

"I'm Syaoran," he said, attempting to break the awkwardness, "Nice to meet you."

The boy warily took his hand, giving it a single, firm shake, then dropped it.

"Kamui."

Well. He'd already known that. But he couldn't just go around calling people by their first names when they'd never met him before. In their world at least. Kamui looked like he was chewing something bitter in his mouth. Finally, he spoke up again.

"Shirou Kamui."

He turned back to cleaning a brass urn. Syaoran hung the feather boa on a hat stand and seated himself on the other side of the paraffin lamp, pulling a rag from the stack so that he could polish one of the silver photo frames. Kamui got up and placed the urn on a shelf, bringing back a box of small trinkets. They worked in an awkward silence for a few minutes, until Syaoran couldn't take it anymore.

"The toast that Watanuki-kun makes is good, yes?"

A small silver butterfly clattered to the floor. Kamui picked it up again, still looking at Syaoran with a look of incredulous bewilderment.

"_What?"_

Syaoran blushed, realizing that he had probably seemed a little strange bringing that up out of the blue.

"We sat together at breakfast yesterday," he explained hastily, embarrassed, "You were eating toast."

Kamui made a strange sound, as if he was choking. A moment later, Syaoran realized it was stifled _laughter. _He grinned as Kamui threw his head back and began to laugh aloud, chuckling along with him.

* * *

><p>Watanuki sighed.<p>

"You can stop hiding behind the potatoes. I can see you."

There was a pause, then Mokona slowly toddled out from behind the neat pile of potatoes.

"You're Watanuki?"

Watanuki nodded.

"Do you want something?" he asked kindly, then suddenly scowled, "But you may not steal the cupcakes off the table. Those are for the customers."

Mokona fidgeted for a moment, wringing her little white paws together in distress. Watanuki looked at her expectantly. Finally, she hopped forward with her paws clasped together like a prayer.

"How is Larg?" she asked imploringly, "Larg is always talking about Watanuki, he says that you make good icing and cooks well. Larg also says Watanuki cleans and brings the sake and takes care of Yuuko when she has a hangover. Is Larg okay? Is Larg coping well with Yuuko's disappearance? Is Larg sick? Or sad? Or lonely? Soel has Fai, and Kurogane, and Syaoran, but Larg must be so lonely!"

Watanuki blinked, then smiled apologetically.

"I'm sorry," he told her gently, "I don't know a Larg. But you must miss and love him very much to be so concerned about him."

"You don't know Larg?" Mokona asked, dismayed.

"No, I don't," he told her, quickly petting her ears at her crestfallen expression and turning away from the counter. Mokona's ears drooped.

"Larg's Watanuki and other Watanukis really are different," she whispered sadly.

"Did you say something?"

Mokona shook her head, and Watanuki turned back around, pushing a single pink-frosted cupcake under her nose.

"Here," he told her kindly, "Have a cupcake."

With a squeal of delight, Mokona snatched the cupcake and retreated a short distance away before continuing cheekily, "I thought you said Mokona couldn't have a cupcake?"

Watanuki scowled.

"Well," he growled, "I've changed my mind. Give me that cupcake!"

Giggling, Mokona bounced out of the kitchen, taking the cupcake with her.

"Tyrant, tyrant, Watanuki's a tyrant~!"

"Come back here!"

Mokona squealed, and escaped into the dining area. Watanuki stopped and glared at her from the kitchen doorway, unwilling to make a scene in front of the customers. Mokona waved, and licked the icing off her paws.

The icing _was _good.

* * *

><p>"Ne, ne, Kuro-wan! Don't you think that plushie looks a lot like you?"<p>

Kurogane turned, following his lover's outstretched finger to aforementioned plush. Upon seeing the stuffed black dog, he exploded into angry protests.

"I'm not a dog!"

Fai ignored him in favor of flouncing over to the stall.

"Kuro-sama!" he called, in the same petulant manner of a spoiled three-year-old, "I want that plushie!"

The man in question ambled forward slowly.

"Well, what the hell do you want me to do?" he drawled.

"Win it for me."

It was an archery stand. _Archery._

"It's not like you can't," he scoffed, "Win it yourself."

Fai pouted, and tugged at Kurogane's shirt.

"But I want Kuro-unsentimental to win it _for _me," he wheedled.

"Why?" Kurogane demanded, attempting to pry his lover's fingers off the front of his shirt.

"_Pleaaaase?"_

Kurogane looked down into those big, blue eyes, brimming with unshed _crocodile-_tears, and those pouting pink lips, and caved. He kissed Fai on the forehead, and stepped forward.

"Give me a bow," he sighed, and tossed a few coins down onto the counter.

A moment later, five arrows protruded from the bullseye, and they were walking away from the counter, stuffed toy in hand.

"_Kyaa~!" _Fai cooed happily, cuddling the inanimate puppy, "Kuro-rin is so _manly!"_

Kurogane spluttered, and tried to fight down the blush he could feel making it's may up his neck.

"Kuro-manly is blu~_shing!"_

"_Shut up!"_

* * *

><p>"And there was this place!" Syaoran continued, gesturing wildly with one hand, "With different colored ponies that could all talk! Some had horns and wings and some were like seahorses. And they all had strange tattoos on their butts!"<p>

Kamui choked.

"Ponies?" he gasped, and Syaoran nodded happily, going back to polishing one of the countless supply of trinkets the storeroom seemed to hold.

"A whole world _full _of them! They lived in castles—that were terribly pink, mind you—and there were rainbows _everywhere! _There were a lot of butterflies too, but they got annoying after awhile because they kept flying in my face._"_

"Are you sure you weren't on drugs?"

Syaoran shot Kamui a hurt look, and Kamui felt like one did after kicking a puppy.

"Kurogane-san and Fai-san were there too," he said reproachfully, and Kamui cleared his throat. He placed the pendant in his hand into the pile of cleaned ornaments, picking up a dusty hairpin that seemed to be in the shape of a dragon.

"You've visited a lot of strange places," he concluded somewhat lamely, head still reeling from the stories of flying vehicles called "trains" and "cars", of sparkling vampires (_what?), _of _non-sparkling_ vampire twins (Syaoran had eyed him strangely during that recounting), of a delightful something called "creme brulee", and of…. magical talking ponies with tattoos on their butts that lived in pink castles in a world of rainbows and butterflies, "But why are you traveling? Don't you ever feel like going home?"

Syaoran stiffened, and Kamui tensed as the brunette lowered his head, bangs covering his eyes.

"I can't go home," he murmured, sounding so miserable that Kamui awkwardly reached out to pat him on the back.

"Is there, err," he cleared his throat again, "Any particular reason why?"

Gosh, he felt like some sort of _counsellor._

"I need to find a solution to this... big problem of mine," the boy said, very vaguely; Kamui decided not to pry, "It's a long story, but I can't go home until I find a solution."

"So…. how's the solution-searching going?"

(This was why he never small-talked.)

Syaoran hugged his knees tighter.

"I don't know where to start," his voice was muffled, "Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be able to go home."

Kamui decided to change tack.

"Is your hometown very important to you?" Because heavens knew he wasn't particularly attached to this tiny little town, "Maybe you could… I don't know, settle down elsewhere?"

"There's someone waiting for me back home. Until I find the solution, I can't be with her."

He held the hairpin to the light of the lamp, turning it over slowly in case he'd missed a spot.

"You miss her."

It was not a question.

"So much it hurts."

He dropped it in the 'clean' pile, and tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

"Separation hurts."

He reached into the pile of dusty baubles, and the next thing he drew out of it was a small brooch in the shape of a bird. Heaven's idea of a joke, probably. He took up the rag again, and began to clean off the thick layer of dust and grime.

"I understand."

Syaoran blinked at him. Kamui was unnerved by how sharp those brown eyes looked in the flickering light of the flames.

"Is there someone you can't be with?"

"Two people," he corrected, trying to sound nonchalant, "One's…. not himself anymore. The other's dead."

"Oh."

"Don't apologize," Kamui cut in quickly before the other could say anything. He _hated _when people apologized 'for his loss'; he didn't need pity.

"Oh. Okay."

Syaoran went back to dusting a vase with… a feather boa scarf. (Yuuko had the strangest things in her storeroom.) Despite himself, Kamui was sort of surprised at his lack of curiosity.

"You aren't going to ask?"

The brunette smiled sadly at him.

"_You _didn't. I'm just returning the favor."

Kamui thought he could grow to like this guy.

* * *

><p>"Kuro…."<p>

Kurogane turned around.

"…plush~!" Fai ended, lifting the damned stuffed toy (that he'd irritatingly enough, christened 'Kuro-plush') to eye level, "How adorable you are~! You're almost as adorable as Kuro-human, but shhh! Don't tell him I said that!"

"Mage…" Kurogane growled dangerously, and Fai glanced up with wide eyes, clapping a hand over his mouth in mock surprise.

"Oh, looks like he heard me. But you know what?" he cupped his hand by his mouth and lifted the plushie nearer to his face, saying to it in a stage-whisper, "I think Kuro-human is jealous of yoooouuuuu~!"

Kurogane snapped as the _idiot _twitched his fingers over the neck of the stuffed puppy, making it nod its head.

"Give me that!" he snarled, making a grab for the toy.

Fai pulled it safely out of reach.

"You gave it to me, it's mine now!"

"I gave it to you, I can take it back!"

"Nuh uh," Fai singsonged, dodging as Kurogane snatched at the puppy again, "As someone once said: once given, considered gone."

"_No one said that!"_

Fai _giggled, _and danced nimbly away.

"Come back here!"

The blonde stopped abruptly, and Kurogane ran into him. He stumbled, and quickly caught Fai by the shoulders to prevent him from falling. (He hadn't been.)

"You _idiot! _Watch where you stop, don't you know that—"

"Kuro-sama!" the magician announced obnoxiously, "I want to play that game!"

Again, he found himself following his lover's outstretched finger to said stall. It was a dunking booth. Currently, there were people throwing apples at the bullseye, clearly attempting to dunk a friend into the pool.

"No," he said bluntly, "I thought we were finding that pub. Clover."

Fai pouted at him.

"Just this game, then we'll go find Clover."

"No."

"Yes~"

"No!"

"Kuro-sa_maaaaaaa!"_

"There is _no way _I am letting you dunk me into that pool!"

_"Pleeeease?"_

Kurogane looked down into those brimming blue eyes once more, and for the second time that day, found himself caving to his lover's whims.

"Just. _Once."_

"Yayy~! Kuro-rin is the best lover _ever!"_

Fai skipped over and pecked him on the lips, then began to tug him towards the pool. Kurogane allowed himself to be dragged along, sighing. Sometimes he wondered why he let the blonde do these things to him.

"Because you looooove me~" Fai sang in a sickeningly sweet voice, clinging and cuddling up to his real arm.

Kurogane blinked. Had he said that out loud?

"No. But that was your 'why do I let my cute little Fai-kitty do such fun things with boring old me' sigh."

"Hey!" he protested, "I am _not—"_

"Kuro-wallet, won't you pay for the game?"

He blinked, and realized that they were standing in front of the dunking tank. He finally processed just _what _his lover had just called him, and scowled darkly.

"Kuro-_what _now?"

"Kuro-wallet," Fai repeated happily.

"I am _not _your wallet!"

The damned blonde idiot only '_kyaa~!' _ed and nuzzled into him with a contented purr.

"But you _are_," he insisted, "You're my big, strong, cuddly Kuro-wallet, who's _also _good in bed!"

Kurogane spluttered and attempted to pry him off.

"Gods, you're shameless!" he yelled, "Does your brain even process the rubbish that is coming out of your mouth?"

The vendor cleared his throat somewhat awkwardly, and Kurogane scanned the signboard above the booth. He threw down the specified number of coins and planted a hand over the side of the tank, swinging himself over the edge and onto the seat with a short exertion of muscles.

"There were stairs," the vendor said in a tiny voice.

And there were. But whatever, he was already in the damned chair.

"Just… give him the apples. And let's get this over wi—"

The water was _cold! _Kurogane burst from the surface of the water, spluttering and cursing angrily.

"You—!"

"Kyaa~! The puppy is angry! I thought only kitties didn't like getting wet?"

On the table beside the table, there were another four apples.

"Why the _hell _does he have five apples! I thought he'd only get one!"

"All customers get five apples, sir," the boy at the table explained nervously, "Sometimes they don't hit the target at all."

Kurogane scoffed and climbed back into the chair.

"Then they must have terrible aim. Who takes _five _apples to—"

With a thunk, the apple hit the target, and Kurogane fell into the water again. He surfaced, gasping, and pointed accusatively at his lover.

"_This guy should only get one!"_

"Kuro-mean is so _unfair!" _Fai moaned, "It's not _my _fault I have good aim."

He held up the next apple with a grin that could only be described as pure _sadism. _

"Back in the chair, Kuro-rin."

"Where is he? _Where is my son?"_

They turned, and found the source of the ruckus to be a woman, looking somewhat deranged as she shook someone by the collar.

"_You said you saw him here!" _she screamed.

The person stumbled. It was Subaru.

"I did, I last saw him here, but he must have wandered—"

"You're _lying!"_

"Ma'am please, I'm not—" he began, sounding distressed.

"Don't you know he's sick? Don't you know he needs his mommy? What if he faints? Who will take care of him then?"

"I'm truly sorry, Madam, but I really—"

The woman suddenly gasped, and took a step back.

"You stole him," she said in sudden realization, eyes wild and glazed over in desperation.

Subaru held his hands up helplessly, beginning to protest.

"_You stole my son!" _the woman screeched over his denials.

She turned and snatched a small knife from a table of tiny figurines, where a man sat whittling away at a piece of bone. Subaru cried out in alarm, and Fai started forward uselessly, much too far away to get there in time.

"Subaru-kun!"

"Oi, watch out, kid!"

The woman lunged at him, and Subaru stumbled backwards from her. At the last possible moment, a dark blur swept in front of the boy, and there was a sickening squelch of flesh giving under blade. Without missing a beat, Seishirou caught hold of the woman's wrist as she made to stab him again, twisting her arm. She dropped the knife with a cry of pain, and fell to the floor on her knees.

Kurogane swung himself out of the tank and sprinted forward. A few people in the crowd grabbed the woman by the arms, pulling her away as Seishirou watched stone-facedly, one hand cupped over the right side of his face. Subaru's twin darted out from the crowd, staring up into the man's face.

"Sei-chan?" she cried in a panicked voice.

"Oi, you alright?" Kurogane yelled, pushing through the crowd.

Seishirou removed the hand from his face, staring down disinterestedly at his own blood on his hands. Blood was streaming from his eye. So much blood that Kurogane couldn't even see it. With a terrible pang, Fai's pale face superimposed itself over Seishirou's face, bleeding from one empty eye socket as the ninja cradled his limp body in his arms.

"Shit!" he cursed, "Your eye!"

Subaru's twin began to tug him away by the arm.

"Quick, back to the inn!" she ordered, "There's a doctor staying today!"

Subaru was still standing there, eyes wide in shock.

* * *

><p>Syaoran stood, eyes wide. Kamui turned suspiciously towards the door. There was the sounds of panicked cries and bustling people.<p>

"What's going on?"

"I don't know," Kamui replied tersely, "Something's happened."

The young brunette dropped what he was holding to the ground and ran up the stairs, two at a time. Kamui followed shortly behind him after a moment's hesitation.

"Kurogane-san?"

Kamui emerged from the basement door, and there was a crowd of people ushering a tall man in a black suit down the hallway; _Seishirou. _Kurogane turned, a fierce scowl on his face.

"Get the doctor!"

"What's his name?" Kamui yelled after him.

Hokuto turned.

"He's the one staying in room 367!"

Subaru suddenly burst in through the back door, completely disheveled.

"Seishirou-san!" he screamed hysterically, "_Seishirou-san!"_

Kamui grabbed Syaoran and began tugging him towards the direction of the dining area. There first, then the rooms, then the town square.

"Come on! Let's go!"

"Wait!" Syaoran cried, "_Where's Fai-san?"_

Kurogane whipped about, scanning the corridor with frenzied eyes. He cursed, and pushed past the throng of people, tearing back out of the door.

* * *

><p>"Have you seen a blonde guy? He has blue eyes."<p>

The woman shook her head, and Kurogane quickly grabbed onto the next nearest person.

"Have you seen a blonde guy with blue eyes?"

The man shook his head as well, looking bewildered, and Kurogane cursed and ran on. Where could the damned mage _be? _Despite what he pretended to be, Fai was _not _a child. He was perfectly responsible, and Kurogane had no idea why he would have gone missing just like that. Going back to the scene of the crime, everybody was busy talking about what had just happened. No one had noticed Fai, they had been too preoccupied with Seishirou. Just like he had. Kurogane swore and punched a tree in frustration. Fai was _his lover. _How had he missed his wandering away? What could have happened? Had that madwoman perhaps broken free and attacked him while everyone was off-guard, while _Fai _was off-guard? Not impossible. Even Kurogane himself had been so distracted that he hadn't noticed Fai's disappearance, would Fai have been hurt?

"Have you seen a blonde with blue eyes?"

The woman paused, and Kurogane felt a flare of hope.

"Yes, I think he may have passed by sometime ago," she said softly, turning to her companion, "Didn't he, Fujimoto-san?"

"Which way did he go?" Kurogane cut in, not giving the guy a chance to speak, but not caring anyway.

She blinked.

"That way," she told him, pointing off towards the woods, "He looked very dazed. I asked him if he was ill, but I think he didn't hear me."

Kurogane ran off in the direction indicated, darting off down in between two stalls and coming out in a clearing. He's forgotten to say thank you, but he wasn't really known for being a real polite guy, and he was in a _hurry. _He scanned the clearing for a moment before he caught sight of blonde hair. The relief that swept over him was overwhelming, but it was soon tided over with rage.

"You bloody _idiot!" _he yelled, striding angrily towards the lithe figure, standing right by the edge of the woods, facing away, "Can't you take care of yourself? You're like a child! The moment I look away, you wander off!"

Fai turned to look at him, and Kurogane faltered at the glazed look in his eyes.

"There's something in the woods," he murmured, "It's calling."

"Fai?"

"Calling…."

He grabbed hold of Fai's shoulder, and shook him hard.

"Snap out of it!"

Fai blinked, and suddenly he was looking around, disorientated.

"How did I…"

Kurogane gripped him by the hand and quickly pulled him back into the square, just a short distance away. He'd never believed in ghosts as a child, and he'd never felt that childish assurance that came from being with other people, but somehow right now he just wanted to get Fai back within that crowd of festival-goers. He stopped by the archery stall, and turned around,

"_What is going on?"_

Fai blinked again, then a guilty look came over his face.

"You know what's going on, don't you?" Kurogane accused, "Why didn't you_ tell _me something was up? Don't you trust me?"

The blonde quickly grasped at his arms, shaking his head desperately.

"Of course I trust you!" he protested, "I _love _ you."

"Then why didn't you say something?"

Fai shook his head.

"I thought it was only a dream," he murmured.

_"What?" _Kurogane asked, "Explain."

Fai looked away thoughtfully.

"I dreamt last night," he began thoughtfully, running a finger over the wooden counter top of the archery booth, "There was someone in our room. I couldn't see who he was, but I followed him out of the room. He kept asking me to go to him."

He paused before continuing.

"He called me Yuui."

"And when you woke up," Kurogane continued for him, eyes wide with realization, "You were outside. In the hallway. Because I ran after you."

Fai nodded.

"Yes," he admitted, "I was pretty spooked, but I later told myself it was just a dream. I didn't want to worry you with 'just a dream'."

Kurogane gently weaved their fingers together, and Fai started at the uncharacteristically sappy gesture.

"Forget about the pub," the ninja said gruffly, "And forget about the damned woods. Let's leave tomorrow. We weren't meant to be here anyway and it's time we left."

Fai looked longingly towards the woods again, and Kurogane was ready to argue with him when he turned back.

"Alright."

Kurogane faltered.

"What?"

Fai smiled.

"Were you expecting me to argue, Kuro-sama?" he teased lightly, before continuing more seriously, "I'm curious. But we weren't supposed to be here, and if this world is dangerous, then we should leave as soon as possible."

He gave Kurogane's hand a firm squeeze.

"My curiosity can go unabated."

* * *

><p><em>Yuui.<em>

_He didn't open his eyes. Didn't sit up._

_Yuui._

_He didn't want to know. He didn't want to know. He didn't want to know._

* * *

><p>He opened his eyes to Kurogane's face, uncreased in sleep. The room was dark, and it was still night. Fai snuggled closer under the covers and closed his eyes.<p>

When he next fell asleep, he didn't dream.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: It's two in the morning, I have exams tomorrow (which I have studied for, no worries) and I'm tired. I'm pretty sure there are all manners of typos and grammatical/ spelling errors in this thing considering that I just typed more than half of it in one sitting, and have yet to proofread it. I'm posting this up now, and I'll check it for typos tomorrow morning. On a side note, would you people rather I post short chapters or long chapters? With long chapters, there might be a chance I won't be able to make it every week, though I'll definitely try. Anyway, I know I promised two chapters in a day, but I'll probably have to post one now, and two next week, because I'm having my midyears, as I've said in my last AN. Btw, I think I might be going overseas on a school trip shortly after this, so just so y'all know. And when I say two chapters next week, it may not be on the same day, but within the same week, because I'm a terrible person who makes promises I can't keep. Enjoy the chapter, whoever guesses what world Syaoran was talking about (C'mon, pretty obvious there) gets virtual cookies. You may point out typos, but I will definitely be doing a onceover tomorrow morning, and probably kill myself out of shame and embarrassment. Goodnight people.**

**Review please! They make me write faster! (I can finally say this, because I am finally not writing chapters ahead of posting.)**


	6. Painted Devils

**Summary: The travelers have packed up and are ready to leave. However, Mokona's spell fails, and later, their attempts to contact Watanuki through her are foiled. Mokona collapses from overexertion, and Syaoran stays back to care for her as Kurogane and Fai set out to find Clover.**

**Warnings:** **Kurofai, established relationship. This is post-series so spoilers for the end. There will also be spoilers for Fai's past later. Hinted TouyaYuki, Douwata, and other CLAMP pairings. Swearing, innuendo, a bit of violence later on perhaps? I'm not sure if the rating will go up in later chapters. We will see.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

* * *

><p>"Has Daddy finished packing yet? He should remember not to leave his teddy bear behind~"<p>

"_Who has a teddy bear?"_

"Kowai! Daddy is angry!"

"Come back here, you useless manjuu!"

Mokona jumped out of the window with a delighted _"wheee~!", _attaching itself straight onto the back of Syaoran's head. The boy in question stumbled forward, yelping in the middle of what Kurogane supposed could only be his ever-polite thank you's and farewells. Kurogane sighed and returned the umbrella back to where he had snatched it from, forgoing his chase for the white creature. Fai was standing a short distance away, strangely quiet, clutching at the damned stuffed puppy he'd gotten at the festival as he stared out of the window. On the other side of the window's clear glass, Kurogane could barely make out the forest canopy over the roofs of the town cottages.

"You alright?"

Fai blinked and turned to him. Kurogane sauntered slowly forward, catching his lover's chin gently. Fai smiled.

"Why wouldn't I be?" he asked lightly.

Kurogane took advantage of the empty room to steal a kiss, grinning as he felt the blonde's smile against his lips.

"Dunno," he replied quietly, "You seem preoccupied."

"By you," Fai murmured back cheekily and pressed forward for another kiss.

There was a loud _thunk! _against the window.

"Mommy and Daddy are being lovey-dovey!"

They quickly parted, each taking a step back. Mokona was pressed against the glass, giggling muffled through the window. A moment later, Syaoran appeared and pulled Mokona from the window. He threw them a sheepish glance and quickly scurried away, taking the white creature with him. After a moment of silence, Fai let out a short, breathless laugh.

"I guess we should go," he said quietly, and turned to make his way out. Kurogane caught his hand, weaving their fingers together and bringing their entwined hands up to his lips. He pressed a quick kiss to the back of a pale hand and Fai blinked, "Kuro-sama?"

But Kurogane had already dropped his hand and was already striding ahead of him, pointedly not turning around to look at him.

"C'mon, let's go," he grumbled.

The wizard could feel a grin spreading itself slowly across his face as he followed the man out into the bustling lobby.

"Is Kuro-rin… embarrassed?" he asked slyly, "Because he's secretly a romantic at heart?"

Kurogane choked, and walked faster. Fai skipped happily up to his lover, clinging tightly to his arm and snuggling into his shoulder with a delighted coo as they emerged from the inn, into the sunlight.

"Kyaa! Such a romantic puppy I have for a lover!" he crowed, and then poked Kurogane's cheek, "Kuro-cute is blushing!"

The ninja spluttered and tried to pry him off.

"You—_Shut up!"_

Fai pouted and only tightened his hold.

"Waiii~!" he wailed, "Is that all Kuro-cruel has to say to me? And he was being so romantic just a moment ago!"

"Fuck you!"

"Such language!" Fai chided, "Not in front of the children!"

Syaoran fidgeted.

"Lover's spat?" Touya asked dryly.

"No," said Kurogane.

"Yes!" said Fai, turning brimming blue eyes to his amused audience, "Kuro-mean is a cruel, cruel lover!"

He laid his blonde head back onto Kurogane's shoulder and began to wail in distress. Kurogane grabbed hold of his hair and tugged, cursing as he stumbled under the weight of Fai's melodrama.

"I thought I was romantic?" he yelled, "Now I'm cruel?"

Fai let go of his arm in favor of batting and slapping at him.

"Owww!" he complained, "No hair-pulling outside the bedroom, Kuro-kinky. How lewd!"

A feral grin broke across the warrior's face, and he tugged harder at Fai's ponytail. The blonde _shrieked _in protest.

"Why not?" Kurogane taunted, "You _like _it when I pull your hair. Especially when I—"

Syaoran cleared his throat loudly. The two 'adults' immediately ceased their catfight.

"I think it's time to go."

"I wanted to hear the end of that sentence," Hokuto said wistfully.

"Perverted witch," Kurogane snarled.

"Kuro-lewd is the one airing our dirty laundry!"

"_Lewd?_ You are the one who's always begging for—"

"_Let's go!" _Syaoran interrupted loudly.

His two traveling companions fell silent. Giggling, Mokona leaped into the air.

"Mokona Modoki is totally excited!"

As Mokona's magic began to swirl in beautiful colors around them (much to the _ooo_-ing and _aah-_ing of onlookers), Fai stuck out his tongue at his lover. Kurogane, the ever-mature one, reached out to catch his tongue. Fai quickly turned away, batting Kurogane's hand away. Syaoran sighed as Mokona's wings spread overhead, and her magic circle began spinning slowly beneath them, lifting them off the grass and into the sky.

"Bye!" Yukito called, "It was nice meeting you!"

Touya snorted. Yukito smacked him without looking.

"Thanks for the recipes, Fai-san!" Watanuki called.

Doumeki only offered a monotone "Aa", much to Watanuki's agitation, and Hokuto stepped forward, waving madly.

"On Sei-chan and Subaru-kun's behalf," she called, "Goodbye!"

"Byeeeeee~!" Fai called, waving back at them, "Thanks for putting up with Kuro-grumpy!"

"_Grumpy?"_

Kurogane and Fai began to squabble again.

Syaoran blinked as he noticed Kamui standing in the doorway of the inn, looking sullen, and waved. Kamui hesitated, then waved back at them. Up on the second floor window, Subaru suddenly ran forward, pressing himself against the window. He fumbled at the latch for a moment before throwing it open.

"Goodbye!"

Kakei appeared over his shoulder with an enigmatic smile as Mokona opened her mouth wide to swallow them up. Syaoran tilted his head up to the sun as he felt the rushing of wind, the pleasant pull of Mokona's transportation magic. He closed his eyes to the swirling lights, hoping that the next world would be Clow.

His eyes snapped open as the wind suddenly picked up into a gale, howling around them like angry ghosts. There were screams as the open windows began to swing wildly on their hinges. Some of the customers milling about the front ran for cover as a tree was uprooted, toppled over by the overwhelming wind. The sky had suddenly darkened, and the last thing Syaoran saw before he screwed his eyes tightly shut as Kurogane and Fai hunched over him in a protective embrace, was a sudden burst of fog over the grass. With the fog came that familiar presence once more, but he was unable to open his eyes against the gale.

The wind gave one last terrifying howl, and then the magic circle shattered beneath them, sending them hurtling backwards across the grass from the backlash. He heard a low cry as they were smashed into the wall of the inn.

As quickly as it came, the wind died down. When Syaoran could open his eyes again, peering out through Kurogane and Fai's arms, the sun was out, the sky was blue, and the fog had receded as if it had never been there at all. Across the front yard, people were beginning to stagger upright, some people were still hunched over, bracing themselves against the ground. Those standing around them appeared to have been thrown across the yard when Mokona's spell had been broken. There was cursing, and then the person on top of him abruptly disentangled from them and got to his knees.

"Kuro-sama?" Fai cried, bending over Syaoran to reach for the ninja, "Kuro-sama!"

He realized with a sudden horror that while he had suffered nothing but a brief jostling, the other two had been wrapped around him, and had probably suffered the brunt of the impact. In fact, Kurogane had been cushioning the both of them when they'd been thrown into the wall. Syaoran quickly rolled under Fai's arms, off of the ninja and stood. Fai was kneeling over Kurogane's figure, slumped against the wall.

"Kurogane-san?"

There was a groan, and the man in question rubbed his shoulder with a wince.

"I'm fine, stop your worrying."

Fai sat down, straddling his lover's lap, and tilted the warrior's face up to look into his eyes, obviously trying to check for concussion. Syaoran backed away, rather uncomfortable with their close proximity, and went to check on Mokona. The two of them appeared to be too engrossed in one another to notice anyway.

* * *

><p>"Is this really okay?"<p>

Mokona nodded.

"Mokona is still a little dizzy," she admitted, "But Mokona thinks we need to call Watanuki! Mokona will be fine."

Syaoran bit his lip.

"Well," he acquiesced somewhat reluctantly, "Alright. Go ahead."

Mokona turned in Syaoran's palm, and the gem on her forehead began to glow. Kurogane sighed and rubbed at his shoulders. Fai reached up, and rubbed his thumb roughly into the hard knot underneath Kurogane's shoulder-blades. The ninja hissed, then sighed, and rolled his neck. There was a loud crack.

"Kuro-ojiisan is getting old," Fai murmured teasingly.

"Shut up," Kurogane growled half-heartedly, rotating his neck in the opposite direction with another crack.

Fai's smile slid slowly off as he moved a little closer.

"Are you hurting anywhere?"

Kurogane shook his head.

"It's fine."

Fai frowned at him, and opened his mouth.

"Sorry," Mokona said suddenly, sounding a little strained, "There's a bit of resistance. Mokona will try harder."

The blonde fell silent, and his blue eyes fell half-lidded to the wooden floor of Syaoran's bedroom. The room was dim; they had drawn the curtains for additional privacy. The covers of Syaoran's bed were neatly tucked into the bed frame, the pillows adjusted neatly at the head. Empty as it was right now, the room was dark and coldly impersonal. After a moment, Fai spoke again.

"But I want to know," he insisted quietly, "I want to know everything about Kuro-sama."

His eyes flicked up to look at Kurogane through his blonde lashes. The man met his gaze squarely for a few seconds, before he looked back towards the empty glowing disk that Mokona was projecting onto a cabinet surface.

"Shoulders and neck hurt a bit," he reported matter-of-factly, "And…"

He trailed off.

"And?" Fai prompted.

He shrugged.

"My arm hurts a little," he admitted reluctantly, "I think I pulled on it too roughly. It's sore here."

Kurogane ran his fingers over the invisible seam between real and prosthetic skin.

"It's not bleeding," Fai told him after a small sniff, "But we should peel the skin back and put some cream anyway. It smells raw."

The warrior turned to him, a strange expression on his face.

"You… I—"

Whatever Kurogane had been about to say was lost as Watanuki's face flickered into view against the wardrobe. They both turned to the front as the projection flickered again.

"Syaoran?" Watanuki's voice came through, sounding somewhat flustered, and distorted to no small extent, "This world— you guys have to— can't—"

The shopkeeper's face jolted alarmingly.

"Watanuki?" Syaoran called, "We can't really hear you, there's something wrong with the projection."

For a short moment, Watanuki's face was replaced with crawling grey and black, before it flickered back again.

"There's—blocking the—magical interference—can't get through—" There was a long moment in which Watanuki's voice was replaced by static, and he was mouthing soundlessly to them, looking panicked, "Dangerous—something in the—need to get out of—stay away from—you need to—"

A flicker—

"Were never meant—shouldn't be in this world—need to get out—" the projection jolted, and Watanuki quickly lunged forward, voice desperate, "_There's something in the woods. _Stay out of there, you need to—"

—and the shopkeeper's face disappeared back into grey static.

Fai eyes widened, and he felt a chill run down his spine as he heard, barely audible above the static, the sound of someone breathing. Behind the disk of grey, crawling with black dots like ants, Fai could feel _that _ominous presence. Eyes widening, he found himself clutching at Kurogane's sleeve, turning around to eye the suddenly creepy corners of the room. Syaoran's bedroom seemed irrationally eerie in that instance, from the unmade bed, to the sheer white fabric swaying unbound from its canopy, the small, black gap between the wardrobe and the wall, and the long shadows stretching like grotesquely elongated men from the lone window.

Then Mokona keeled over on Syaoran's palm, and the static cut off abruptly, along with the sinister breathing.

"Oi!" Kurogane yelled, moving forward, "Manjuu!"

As Kurogane and Syaoran hunched over Mokona's prone body, the curtains billowed out. Fai tensed and whipped about with wide eyes, flinging an open palm out with a short burst of magic. In the moment before the curtains were thrown so roughly to the sides that they were nearly ripped from their hooks, the wizard thought he'd seen a black, black shadow behind the fabric. (_there was someone behind the curtain, fog pooling on the floor and pouring from behind a dark shadow, curtains billowing) _But then sunlight lit the room, eradicating every shadow in the room, even the pitch blackness under the bed. (Fai had never been scared of monsters under his bed, even as a child; his monsters had always been much too real.)

Fai flinched away from the brightness, the suddenness of its arrival blinding him temporarily. When he squinted out from under his arm, his companions were looking at him strangely through slightly narrowed eyes. The birds were twittering happily from outside, and he could hear activity coming from downstairs as the mess in the front lawn was cleared. The room was bright and clean, and there was no one behind the curtains.

He suddenly felt very silly. But even as he reminded himself that grown men should not be afraid of the dark, he crept forward, closer to his companions. He just barely resisted the urge to cling to Kurogane's sleeve like a child hiding behind his mother's skirts.

"Heh," he laughed, somewhat nervously, "How mysterious. Seems like someone doesn't want us leaving so soon."

The blonde forced out a strained chuckle, and Kurogane gave him a sharp look. Fai shook his head, an almost imperceptible movement, and looked at Syaoran. _Later. _The ninja backed down, turning back to Mokona. Syaoran tugged the covers out from under the mattress—it wasn't like they'd be leaving anytime soon anyway—and lowered Mokona gently onto his pillow.

"Looks like we're staying," Syaoran murmured as he pulled the covers over her, "I don't think we'll be able to leave."

Fai glanced at his lover. Kurogane was looking out of the window, blood-red eyes charmingly half-lidded. His expression was strangely neutral. After a moment of silence, he spoke up quietly, not turning back towards them.

"Let's go find that pub."

Outside, the edges of the eastern woods peeked surreptitiously from the tops of tudor roofs like a reminder.

* * *

><p>"Hey."<p>

Syaoran turned to see Subaru's twin standing in the doorway, a basin of water and wetted rags in her arms. He turned back to Mokona, deathly still on the pillow, and continued to stroke her ears.

"Hey," he responded quietly.

The girl approached and set the basin down on the nightstand with a soft _clank_. She smiled at him as she began to wring out the rags.

"Is it still burning up?"

"She," Syaoran corrected, and lightly pressed the back of his hand over Mokona's jewel; her skin was hot and feverish under her short fur, "Yes."

Hokuto sat herself on the other side of the bed, and laid the rolled up towel gently over Mokona's forehead. She caressed her fingertips shortly over the side of the creature's face, then placed her hands neatly in her lap.

"She was very brave," she said simply, "The magical backlash when her transportation spell must have hurt, but she continued on anyway."

"I should have stopped her," Syaoran mumbled guiltily, "I should have taken better care of her."

A small, warm hand laid itself over his own. He looked up to Hokuto's smiling face. Her green eyes were kind, and warm. Like Sakura.

"Don't blame yourself," she chided gently, "Sometimes the people we care about do things that compromise themselves, things we don't agree with. But sometimes we can't force them to do what we think is best. And so sometimes we just have to accept them, and support them through the aftermath."

Sakura's face, pleading, as she begged him to let go of her on that faithful day in Infinity flashed in his mind's eye. Unsmiling, as she closed the door in his face. Guilty, as she told him that she wasn't _his _Sakura. Compassionate, even with a blade through her breast, red soaking invisible into her black dress, reaching out to place a translucent hand over Fai's bloodied one on the hilt. He lowered his gaze, and held Mokona's tiny, lifeless paw between his fingers.

"Yes," he murmured, "Even if we don't agree with them, and though it's painful to watch them hurting in the aftermath, in the end we will still sit by their side, and hold their hands through the bad."

He squeezed Mokona's paw gently.

"But I just wish," he continued softly, "There was something I could do to help. But what's wrong is on the inside, and I can't reach inside of her to pull out the wrongness. I can only sit here and hold her hand."

He thought of Hanshin, and Sakura's ashen face, Sakura's shallow breath, Sakura's broken soul. He thought of the gaping chasm in her mind, empty and hollow; the memories she'd lost, and the memories she'd never regain.

"Everybody does the things they do because they felt it was for the best. But when people do things, there is always a compromise, there is always someone who will be hurt by their actions. Your loved ones may hurt themselves, and hurt you, because they felt it was the best for _you," _Hokuto's voice gained a desperate edge, "It's about weighing the greater good, and acting on it. You have to understand that—that your loved ones meant the best for you, and forgive them for hurting you. Forgive them, because they _never_ wanted to hurt you."

It was true—and almost funny—how people hurt the ones they loved, by trying to prevent them from being hurt. Sakura had loved them, and hadn't wanted to see them all die. But seeing Fai's devastation, his tears of despair, the chilling look on his face as he had lifted the blade up, intentions plain and clear as day… Syaoran recalled Celes; the emaciated child reflected in floating shards of ice, a bloodied body in the snow with its brittle hair splayed out like a golden halo, and the broken husk of a person that remained of the survivor, forever smiling empty smiles and desperately trying to make amends. He recalled Fai's distance, which had hurt more and more as the journey dragged on, and Syaoran had begun to truly care about him—all that because the blonde hadn't wanted to infect them with his 'misfortune'.

"I'm not innocent either," Syaoran realized, "I want to help Kurogane-san, because he's always so angry, and Fai-san, because he's always so guilty. I want to keep Mokona happy, always, because she deserves better. They all deserve better. All of them."

And he— his clone, his father, his other, his heart, it all blurred together sometimes till he couldn't tell the difference, _he_ had wanted to help his Sakura, and had gotten himself hurt so many times. Sakura had always worried, fretted, and guilted herself over his injuries. He was broken from his thoughts by Hokuto's breathless giggle.

"I guess we all think the people we love deserve better, deserve the world, deserve… _everything," _she looked out of the window with a faraway smile on her face, "We want to help, but we can't all be around forever to help the people we love."

Syaoran blinked.

"Why not?" he asked, a little forlornly, "Are you… going somewhere?"

Hokuto started and turned to face him with wide eyes. She laughed breathlessly, and waved him off.

"No, I didn't mean it that way," she reassured him, "I just meant… Well, Sei-chan and Subaru need their own freedom and they both really need to assert themselves. I can't be sitting around prompting them to get a move on all the time! That's their own problem!"

She laughed again and picked up the towel, wetting it again before wringing it out once more and laying it on Mokona's burning forehead. Syaoran chose not to comment on the sorrowful look on her face, and allowed her to steer the conversation into more trivial grounds. But despite her exuberance and general craziness, he couldn't get the image of her sad, knowing expression and the memory of her quiet words out of his head. He smiled at her as she chattered happily about her brother, and thought that _she _deserved better too.

* * *

><p>As it turned out, Clover was <em>really <em>a pub, not quite the bar they'd been expecting. It was nothing like the dimly lit, classy Clover of Outo with the soft tinkles of the piano in the background, and Oruha's mellow voice washing over them. No, Clover here was a _pub. _The furniture was all of knotted wood, unpolished. Drinks were served in glass mugs, scratched to the point that they looked frosted. Barrels of ale and beer sat on the counter, and there were some raucous drunks drinking straight from the tap, laughing and making a general ruckus. There was no music but the unglamorous noises of slopping beer, slurred laughter, loud curses, and occasionally retching or a minor fight. A far cry from the Clover of Outo with its uniformed waitresses, marble counters, cushioned bar stools, and cocktails served in crystal martini glasses.

Kurogane pursed his lips, frowning disapprovingly as a man collapsed over the top of the bar beside him. A moment later, the sound of vomit splattering echoed, and his friends resumed their raucous laughter. Fai made a face beside him, and on his other side Kakei laughed.

"Well, I suppose they _can _get a little rowdy at times," he admitted, "But the bartender won't let them get out of hand."

And it was true. Even as they spoke, the bartender—a dark-haired man about Kakei's age, who hadn't once taken off his sunglasses since they had entered—manhandled two red-faced men away from one another, and _escorted _them out. That done, he turned, and began to make his way back to the counter.

"He's like a bartender _and _a bouncer in one," Fai commented, "Useful."

Kakei tilted his head in confusion.

"Bouncer?"

"Like a guard," Kurogane explained, "If people get too drunk or rowdy, they kick them out."

Before Kakei could reply, a tanned arm sneaked its way around his shoulders from behind, and his reply melted away into a sly, secretive smile.

"Back so soon?" he teased.

"They were easy to deal with," the bartender replied in an intimately low tone of voice, "But aren't _you _here early today?"

Kakei chuckled and stroked his fingers lightly over the forearm hanging over his shoulder.

"Maybe I wanted to see you."

The bartender sidled up closer over the countertop, turning his face into the side of Kakei's neck to nuzzle at him. Kurogane averted his eyes uncomfortably. He racked his brains, hoping fiercely that he and Fai had never behaved so shamelessly in front of _anyone. _The bartender disconnected from Kakei's neck for a moment only to speak.

"I'm only getting off in three hours though," he said, "You know that."

Kakei chuckled, the sound sultry and mysterious like scented smoke.

"You got me, I'm actually bringing these people to look for Oruha-san," he admitted, "Is she here?"

The man turned to them, looking surprised even through his sunglasses. After a moment, he slid slowly away from the inn-manager, hands lingering as if he didn't _really _want to take his hands off Kakei.

"So these are the travelers you were talking about," he muttered to himself, before addressing the two of them more loudly, "Oruha-san is not here. You just missed her. She doesn't stay too late most days. Not safe for a lady like her to be in a place like this too late. She's too pretty for the drunks _not _to make advances towards."

Kurogane stood up immediately, chair scraping the floor as he did.

"Then I guess we'll come back tomorrow," he said somewhat tightly, pointedly not looking at the man still heaving over the bartop beside him, "Come on, mage."

As Fai lazily followed his straight-backed lover out the door, he turned to wave at the two at the counter.

"Bye Kakei-san, Saiga-san," he called, "I shall tell the others that you're taking off early."

Kurogane grabbed him, and hauled him out of the door with an impatient scowl on his face.

* * *

><p><em>Yuui.<em>

_He grasped at the sheets, and remained on his side._

_Yuui._

_He curled up more tightly, facing away from the window, and tried to ignore the soft, desolate crying that began quietly from behind him, rising gradually in volume._

* * *

><p>Fai opened his eyes, and stared at the ceiling for a moment. He rolled over and pressed into Kurogane's back; the man murmured sleepily, but did nothing else. Fai screwed his eyes shut, and leaned his forehead right between his lover's shoulder-blades.<p>

_Guilt, _he told himself desperately, _he's trying to guilt me._

He could still hear the distressed cries ringing in his ears, the quiet, lonely sobbing of a child.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Oh gosh, I am so, so, _so _sorry! I realize it's been like, three weeks since the last time I updated, and I really am sorry about that. Real life has been pretty shit over here, so... not much of an excuse, but yeah. Anyway, I realized that a few weeks ago I promised two updates for one week when I missed posting, and I will keep that promise, however I will not be posting extra chapters to make up for these three weeks. And that is because... I've been suffering from a terrible case of writer's block, in combination with a general lack of time to write, or even _think _about this fic. As I've already told you people, this is one of my fics that can probably have long periods of stasis, as I am really writing as I post here. I have a general outline of events and I know how everything is going to play out, but its the writing it out that kills me. (As you can probably see from my choppy transitions, and lack of descriptions, I'm really trying to force it out. Dialogue-driven much?)**

**Anyway, I've been trying really hard to update before I leave. I'm going overseas on a school trip in order to "service" the "less fortunate". Anyway, I'll be away for two weeks, so I wanted to at least give you people something to read before I leave you in the dark for two weeks. Good news is, after I return from this trip, my school holidays is starting. This means that I'll have more time to write, and so I might _actually _be able to keep my promise of two chapters in one week. Of course, I _really _need to study during the hols, but honestly I always tell myself that, but end up doing crap anyway. Of course, I will definitely do some studying this time around, not like in December, but that doesn't mean that I can't get distracted and start writing anyway. Of course, the writer's block may come back, but I'll do my best to overcome that.**

**Please review guys! I really, _really _need the motivation right about now. If you are reading this, but have no account, no worries! Leave an anonymous review! Thanks for reading, and for waiting for this chapter. Again, I'm so terribly sorry I left this alone for such a long time!**


	7. Blood and Fire

**Summary: The travelers revisit Clover, and find Oruha the bard. She tells them a story. In the dead of night, misfortune strikes.**

**Warnings:** **Kurofai, established relationship. This is post-series so spoilers for the end. There will also be spoilers for Fai's past later. Hinted TouyaYuki, Douwata, and other CLAMP pairings. Swearing, innuendo, a bit of violence later on perhaps? I'm not sure if the rating will go up in later chapters. We will see.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

* * *

><p>A loud thump woke him early the next morning, so early that the sky was still mostly dark. He immediately snapped to awareness, scanning the room for any imminent danger. There was none. Beside him, Fai slumbered on, bare legs tangled in the sheets. While Kurogane mostly started awake at any small noise, Fai, on the other hand, wouldn't have woken even if a brass band marched through their room, followed by a team of cheerleaders—pom poms and all—and finished with a legion of screaming fans. But uncannily, he would immediately awaken in the cases of <em>real <em>midnight dangers, giveaway sounds or no. He slept through the false alarms, no matter how loud, and Kurogane sometimes found himself jealous. He scanned the room once more, just for good measure, before he settled himself carefully back down; Fai's head was resting snugly in the shallow indentation where arm met torso, and moving too much might wake him (because what Kurogane had said about the brass band had been a _bit _of an exaggeration. Just a bit).

Another loud thump against the wall, and this time it was followed by loud delighted squealing and laughter. Fai stirred, snuggled into Kurogane's chest (his heart was _not _melting, it was not), and went straight back to sleep. So Kurogane gently nudged his lover off of him, settled him tenderly into the pillows, unentangled the blankets from Fai's limbs—fingers reaching out for a missing warmth (his heart melted all over again)—and pulled them over his lover's lithe frame. He grabbed Fai's hand as the blonde whimpered in his sleep, and pressed a kiss to the back of it. The fingers of Fai's other hand curled into Kurogane's hair.

"Kuro-sama…." Fai murmured drowsily, "Kuro…"

Kurogane eased Fai's fingers out of his hair, and bent down to kiss his lover.

"Shhh," he shushed, "I'm here, go back to sleep."

"Mmmm," Fai said, and resumed his kittenish snoring. Kurogane chuckled softly and brushed blonde bangs away from a pale face, leaning down to press a final chaste kiss against Fai's forehead before he got to his feet and padded quietly out of the room. He closed the door quietly behind him, took a few silent steps down the corridor, then slammed the door open and began to yell.

"Manjuu bun!" he roared, "Do you _know _what time it is?"

"It's seven," someone replied, and Kurogane faltered.

Subaru's twin smiled serenely at him from beside Mokona's bed. Mokona sat in her palm, clutching at a bottle of sake.

"A perfectly decent hour, I must say," Hokuto announced, and began her 'ohoho'ing.

"It is _not _a decent hour!"

"Kuro-beast is a party-pooper!" Mokona complained.

"Stick-in-the-mud," Hokuto stage-whispered to Mokona.

"Spoilsport."

"Wet blanket," Hokuto continued, wagging her finger at Kurogane.

Syaoran fidgeted in the corner as Kurogane's eyebrow began to twitch.

"Kurogane-san…"

The door creaked slowly open, and Fai came in, rubbing at his eyes. He brightened as he spotted his lover, and immediately skipped forward to latch onto Kurogane's arm.

"Kuro-rinnnn!" he howled, "Why did you leave? I was sooooo lonely!"

He somehow managed to get his icy fingers into Kurogane's sleeves and down the back of his shirt. Kurogane yelped in a most undignified manner, trying to get those cold fingers _out._

"And I was cold too," Fai told him, as a side note, and snuggled happily into his chest, warming his hands on the inside of Kurogane's shirt.

Kurogane pried Fai away with a snarl.

"Stop that and go put on a coat or something!"

Fai sniffled, and pretended to dash a few tears away.

"What a terrible lover I have," he sobbed, "Who won't even hold me when I'm cold and lonely!"

"I'll hold you if you stop shoving your icy fingers under my shirt!"

Mokona leaped onto Fai's head, giving the 'sobbing' man a soothing pat on the head.

"It's alright, Fai!" she soothed, "Kuro-meanie is just grumpy!"

"Grumpy," Fai accused, glaring at Kurogane through lashes glittering with crocodile tears.

"Grumpy," Hokuto affirmed, wagging her finger at him again.

"I'm. Not. _Grumpy!" _Kurogane yelled.

"Looks like Kuro-grump is in denial!" Fai sing-songed.

"Denial~!" Mokona echoed.

"There once was a man who was grumpy as heck!" Hokuto suddenly burst into song.

"His name was old scrooge Ku~ro!" Fai warbled, skipping over to snag the bottle from Mokona's small paws. He took a large swig and wiped his mouth, "To all of the fun he always said 'no!' "

"And to little cute Mokonas he was always so cold!" Mokona mock-sniffled.

"Oh!" they all sang together, and the line that came after that was just a mess of them speaking over one another. They all looked at one another.

"Why must you be such a toad?" Mokona sang, questioningly.

"That's boring," Hokuto scoffed, "You are so old that you could grow mold!"

"Hey!" Fai yelped, "I'm older than him!"

Kurogane reached slowly for the nearest long, sharp-looking object. He found a pale yellow umbrella, floral printed with a lace hem, and raised it in front of him. Those three _fools _screamed and began to run around like chickens with their heads cut off, and he ran forward, uttering a loud war-cry as he brandished the umbrella over his head. Syaoran sank down in his seat, mortified.

* * *

><p>A while later, after the chaos had died down, the three of them (four if you counted Mokona; Kurogane didn't) headed out. They'd gotten a little lost, for which Fai had laughed at him for, but it wasn't like Fai hadn't been there when Kakei had led them to Clover the first time around. In the end, they still found the place after some wandering, no harm done.<p>

This time around, the place was quieter. It was still quite early in the day, thanks to their early awakening, and there were several drunks staggering out of the pub, presumably making their way home after a night out drinking. They opened the door to the sight of an undeniably curvy woman lounging at the corner, plucking delicately at a small harp. The Oruha of this world was dressed a lot more modestly than the Oruha of Outo. She wore a long dress that admittedly _did_ plunge quite low down her front, with a wide neck and long sleeves that flared out at the elbow. She turned at their entrance, smiled at them, and simply went on playing.

They approached her, and seated themselves at the counter.

"Four ales, please," Fai called to the bartender, this time a man they did not recognize. Saiga was probably not on shift. Kurogane privately thought that the kid ought not to be drinking judging from how well his clone had handled liquor back in Outo, but chose not to comment.

The man sluggishly began to clean out four beer glasses for them without speaking a word and Kurogane turned his attention back to the bard sitting beside them. Now that they were so close, he realized that she was singing softly under her breath. He was sitting a little far away to hear the actual words, only appreciate the pleasant lilt and tumble of her mellow voice but beside her, Fai leaned back against the counter, closing his eyes, and on her other side Syaoran listened with rapt attention, Mokona silent and awed on his shoulder.

She ended on a drawn out note, placing a gentle hand flat on the strings of her harp to stop its melodious hum. She held that position for a moment, then adjusted her harp on her lap and looked up at them, smiling.

"Gentlemen," she greeted.

Fai inclined his head at her with a charming grin.

"My lady," he returned, "That was a beautiful song. Interesting story."

Oruha laughed, leaning back against the bartop.

"I learnt it from a traveler yesterday. He came for the midsummer festival," she explained, "Have you been to the festival yet? If not you should definitely go, it's ending in a few days."

"Oh yes, we've already been there," Fai told her with a laugh, "It was _quite _exciting."

Oruha absently reached down and plucked a few strings, humming an affirmative.

"The festival is always exciting," she said, and tightened a few strings before looking up at them, "Would you like to hear a song?"

Syaoran subtly straightened.

"Oh yes," he chirped, eyes wide and delighted, "Could you sing for us?"

"Of course."

She reached down to begin her song, but a casual hand on her wrist stopped her. She looked up at Fai, cocking an eyebrow.

"Actually," he murmured, leaning closer, "There's a… particular song I'd like to hear."

Oruha set her harp back down.

"And what may that be?"

Fai smiled a close-eyed smile at her.

"I want to hear a song about the woods."

A look of sudden amusement lit the bard's eye. She propped one leg up, lifted her harp and drew her fingers across it with a raucous _claaang!_

"One young girl in a big dark wood!

Met a boy she never should!"

She winked at them suggestively.

"Oh, lay me on the grass so soft!

So her mm-mm-mmm she lost!"

Syaoran let out a small squeak at the last line, and quickly drowned himself in his mug. Oruha laughed, Mokona giggled, and Fai cleared his throat.

"Not… quite what I was looking for," he admitted, and Kurogane decided to come in.

"The woods to the east of here," he said bluntly, "There's something strange going on in there. We want to know what."

She set her harp back down, a smile still tugging at her lips.

"I don't have a song about that," she told them, "But I do have a story."

Mokona jumped down into her lap, eager.

"Please do tell!"

Oruha shook a finger in his face.

"Ah-ah~!" she sang playfully, "These things have a price."

Kurogane remembered Outo; she'd asked for a drink in return for her information.

"We'll buy you a drink."

Fai looked at him, leaned in close after a moment.

"Kuro-chi has good memory," he whispered, and gave Kurogane's hand a subtle squeeze before turning back to the bard, "What would you like to drink, Oruha-san?"

Oruha shook her head.

"Drinks are easy to come by, but songs are not," she told them, "Sing me a song, traveler, and I'll tell you a story. Fair exchange, yes?"

Fai grinned. This must be how she got all her songs and stories.

"Into the eastern woods a maiden wandered," he sang quietly, "Far beyond the civil lands."

Kurogane discreetly laid his hand on the small of his lover's back, and leaned in closer to hear his voice.

"Where robbers hid the riches they plundered," he continued, "And by the fay, were reduced to sand."

There was a moment of silence before Oruha applauded softly.

"I've never heard that one before," she told them with a smile, then adjusted her harp, draping both her arms over its frame, "Alright, I'll tell you the story."

She suddenly flashed them an enigmatic smile.

"Are you sure you want to hear it?" she murmured.

Fai nodded eagerly, and Syaoran began to re-emerge from his mug. Oruha leaned back against the counter, and looked out of the window. Her lids fell to half-mast, her eyes faraway.

"Once upon a time," she began, "A time older than anyone alive can remember, there lived a wise and powerful king with his two beloved sons, in that castle just over the hills."

She called for a drink before continuing.

"The princes were young and handsome, but adventurous as young men often were, forsaking marriage and children for swords and magic. And though the king was worried—he was getting old after all—he loved his sons dearly, and patiently waited for the day they would find love and settle down.

"But alas, time was cruel indeed and soon came a time when the king grew weak, upon which he retired from the throne. Sickly and old, the king smiled and when asked, wished only for the continuance of his bloodline, and their happiness thereafter. And so, the younger set out to look for a bride, as the elder took his place on the throne."

The bartender slid her beer across the counter, and she caught it, taking a long drink before continuing.

"Once upon that very same time, in a pure, taintless land much further away than just over the hills, there lived a princess, a princess so fair that some believed a goddess had borne herself into her body, and with a voice so sweet it was said she could charm the stars. It was this princess that the younger prince brought from her faraway home, back to that beautiful castle just over the hills, to be his bride.

"The princess quickly endeared her new family as well as her new subjects with her innocence and her beauty. It was not much later that the palace doctors announced that she was carrying the next possible heir to the throne, much to the joy of all who heard the good news. The birth was expected to be in the month of January—the month of receding winter and approaching spring—a truly auspicious month that symbolized new beginnings and hardships crossed. The months leading up to the birth was a period filled with kingdom-wide merry-making and celebration."

Oruha took another gulp, and smiled sadly.

_"But their happiness was not to last."_

Fai looked down at his hands in his lap as the bard continued.

"It was a wintry December's night, the coldest and fiercest yet, that loud screams brought the doctors running to the princess' chambers. As a blizzard raged outside the castle walls, its interior was silent apart from the squalls of the newborn prince.

Born a month too soon, the prince was of an inauspicious birth. But life moved on, and the prince grew into a fair, young child. The old king soon died after a long fruitful life, shortly after the untimely death of his son, the second prince. The princess was left a widower, but lived a good life under the protection of her brother-in-law, the king. Everything was alright until a time just before the little prince's fifth birthday, where his mother died of causes still unknown to this date, and her grieving family—suspecting foul play—declared war on the kingdom.

"Many died on both sides in the years that followed, and the king began to draft citizens into the war. Men and boys, all sent in like pigs to the slaughter. The citizens grew resentful; poor and hungry from the war being waged, and grieving from the deaths of loved ones. There were mutterings of an uprising amongst the townsfolk, talk of rebellion and liberation. Despite the efforts of the failing kingdom, the winner of the war soon became clear, and as the invading troops neared the wretched castle, the citizens stormed the castle. They turned upon their monarch, killing him where they found him, and ransacking the palace for its riches. They soon found the little prince, a beautiful child of seven and the last living royal, in their mad rampage for gold and jewels. Angry and revengeful, they dragged him out by the hair to be burnt at the stake."

She paused, and turned to look at them.

"To this day, no one knows what actually transpired that faithful day; some say it was a last act of vengeance, wracked upon the citizens by the prince's departing soul, some claim it to be the gods' punishment for the murder of an innocent child, there are even some who murmur of a fay's prank gone horribly out of hand," she told them quietly, and the three of them had to lean close to hear what she had to say, "Whatever it had been, the sky burned a terrible blood-red that day, and it is said that a great white phoenix circled the city, screaming its rage and unimaginable grief to the heavens, before plunging into the enchanted forests that still exist to the east."

Oruha looked away.

"When the enemy troops reached the city, the putrid smell of burning human flesh clung to the air, and the king lay—slain by his own rebellious subjects—in his own throne-room. The city square held two flaming pyres, one containing the smoldering remains of a child, the other towering so high into the sky that it could not be put out for weeks.

She paused.

"The soldiers had been unable to stop the townsfolk from throwing themselves into the flames."

Her drink came, and she took a swig from it before continuing.

"If you'll take a three day's ride on horseback, you'll reach the foot of the hills, and the ruins of the accursed castle just over it," she suddenly turned to then, "But hush! Listen! Do not enter that god-forsaken castle, for it is said that the place is cursed with the monstrosities committed within its walls, as is the fay-ridden woods to the east that the great phoenix landed in all those centuries past, where it is still believed to reside."

Oruha was silent for a long moment, a faraway look in her eye, before she turned to them and smiled.

"Of course, this story came from pretty far back," she told them, "And when a few brave souls actually ventured over the hill, they found the castle in top condition! The winning kingdom had taken over the castle, and their descendants still live there till today."

Mokona applauded softly.

"Oruha-san is a good storyteller!" she cheered.

Syaoran was frowning, looking as if he was trying to puzzle things out.

"So," he began thoughtfully, "The strange thing in the forest is the lingering ghost of the prince?"

Oruha shrugged.

"Nobody knows."

Fai slowly pushed away from the counter and slid off the barstool to his feet.

"Thank you for the story, Oruha-san."

* * *

><p>"So what do you think?"<p>

Fai was silent for a moment. Behind them, Syaoran straggled along behind them, Mokona atop his head as they both _ooh_-ed and _ahh_-ed at the festivities. Finally, Fai leaned into the large hand at the small of his back, turning his face towards his lover.

"I dreamt again last night," he said quietly, "There was a child."

"The spirit of the prince?" Kurogane prompted.

Fai shrugged.

"Maybe."

Fai fell silent again, and Kurogane said nothing for long moment. Mokona jumped onto their shoulder from behind with a loud _puu~!_

"The poor prince!" she exclaimed, "How could anyone do that to a child?"

Fai stiffened.

"Fear can make people do the ugliest things," he whispered, and Mokona quietened as well.

"Fai…"

The wizard turned, smiling at them.

"It's alright," he said softly, "_I'm _alright."

When Kurogane felt fingers twining with his, he gave them a squeeze. Syaoran spoke up from beside them.

"Do you think it's the prince?"

Kurogane shrugged.

"Seems like it," he grunted, "Given the way he died, I'm not too surprised."

Fai's fingers tightened in his grasp. Syaoran looked down at their tangled fingers, then averted his eyes, looking embarrassed. Kurogane sighed; the kid was too easily embarrassed for his own good.

"It could also be a manifestation of all that negativity," Fai speculated, "The resentment of the citizens, the bloodshed, the fear, the greed, all that escalated into the murder of a child. All that negative emotions must have gone somewhere."

Mokona shook her head.

"But when it attacked us between dimensions, and again yesterday," she began quietly, "It felt lonely. So lonely."

They all fell into a melancholic silence. Kurogane finally cleared his throat.

"Well, all these theories are good and all," he grumbled, "But the _real _question is... What are we going to do about that thing?"

"Maybe we can exorcise it," Syaoran suggested, "Help it move on."

"Mokona thinks we should ask the other people of this world!" Mokona piped up, "Maybe they have an idea of what we can do!"

Fai turned and looked towards the horizon.

"Tomorrow then," he said, "It's getting late. For today, Mokona and Syaoran-kun should go ahead and enjoy the festival."

"Festival! Festival~!" Mokona sang, "Mokona wants candy!"

Fai slowly turned around to face them, a solemn expression on his face.

"Well, we all know what that means," he began augustly, then pointed straight at Kurogane, "Kuro-wallet! Out with the money!"

* * *

><p><em>The stranger was a silhouette against the window. He sat up, sheets falling to his waist. The mist was pouring in, so high that it swam around his navel. He stared at the person behind the curtains, and the stranger remained silent, unmoving.<em>

_You're lonely, he said, and received no answer._

_The fog was rising around him. Rising. Rising. He held up his arms, as if to accept an embrace, and waited. Behind the curtains, the figure—the child was silent. Thinking about it then, the silhouette was that of a child's, small and frail. Pre-adolescent. And he could understand, being hated, being lonely. He understood the feeling of wanting to be loved. So he waited with his arms open._

_Yuui._

_Two small pale arms came up, parting the curtain._

_Yuui—_

* * *

><p>A long drawn-out scream.<p>

"Oh _god!"_

"What happened?"

"Get the doctor!"

Fai opened his eyes, beside him, Kurogane rolled out of bed, ransacking through the closet and pulling on a pair of pants. Below, there were the sounds of sudden activity, clumsy clanging and moving of furniture. It took only a moment before Fai was up as well, catching the pants that his lover tossed him, and pulling them on. They were hurrying down the stairs seconds later.

"Candles. We need more candles!"

"Someone get a lamp!"

There were people running around in the dark, brushing against him and weaving around one another. He couldn't see their faces in the gloom. There were small spots of light moving around—the lighted tips of sporadic candles—and somewhere along the floor there was a short burst of flame as a candle was dropped. Cursing, then the fire was stamped out.

"_Help…_" someone sobbed, voice drowned out by the screaming and yelling, "Someone help…"

Kurogane was not by his side anymore, lost in the crowd. There was a lighted doorway a short ways down the corridor where everyone was taking the candles to. He could vaguely hear his lover yelling amongst the rest of the chaos, but he tuned him out and slowly made for the door. He turned as he spotted a particularly large dash of light from the corner of his eye, and followed Suzuran's disembodied head and hand—carrying a kerosene lamp—as she bustled through the crowd, and into the doorway.

"Subaru-kun," he heard her say sharply, "Subaru-kun, get up."

"Subaru-kun, give her to me," someone else pleaded.

Fai picked up his pace, weaving quickly towards the lighted doorway.

"Subaru—"

_"No!" _someone screamed, "Don't touch her, _don't touch her!"_

"Subaru-kun, you're hurting yourself!"

"Get _away!"_

"Someone subdue him!"

"Hold him down! Careful, don't hurt him!"

"_Get away from her!"_

He felt a short burst of energy in the room, coinciding with the sound of loud cries and crashing. The back of his neck prickled. _Magic._ Someone was knocked out of the room, and lay groaning upon the threshold. Fai pulled (him? her?) the person up by the arm, turning to peek into the doorway, and froze.

"Hokuto-chan…" Subaru sobbed, "_Hokuto-chan…"_

Blood pooled slowly at his feet. Half shrouded in the dark, Hokuto's head lolled limply as Subaru jerked her up into his bloodied arms. There was a gash across his forehead, his clothes torn and soaked in red, blood leaking from the corner of his lips. Hokuto's head lolled onto her shoulder, staring down at the growing puddle of blood leaking slowly from her clothes dyed red, trickling down her pale arms, pooling under her bloodied legs. Her eyes were empty.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Dun dun dun! Hokuto is dead! But I think the TB readers all saw that coming after Seishirou lost his eye. For those who have not read Tokyo Babylon, **_(spoilers!)_** this woman who is the mother of a boy with a kidney disease tries to stab Subaru because she's like half-crazy from the need to get a kidney transplant for her son (named Yuuya). Then Seishirou pops out of nowhere and takes the hit for Subaru, going blind in one eye because of that. After Seishirou goes half-blind protecting him, Subaru realizes that he is in love with him. And in a turn of events that I'm much too lazy to explain, Seishirou is actually evil (what a big surprise) so he kills Hokuto and runs off leaving Subaru heartbroken and swearing to take revenge. Cue angsty Subaru of X, where CLAMP tortures him so much that fans have spawned the saying "At least you're not Subaru".**

**Really. At least you're not Subaru.**

_(end spoilers!)_

**So all that aside, I'm really terribly sorry for the long wait! I've been overseas (as I think I've already said) and only got back to writing when I returned this week. Thanks for all the reviews (I knew I _really_ needed to update when I got back and realized that I'd gotten so many reviews for the last chapter) and I hope you enjoyed this chapter... Somehow it feels really morbid saying that when I've just killed Hokuto off. Excuse any strangeness in the tense, if you find any. I've just finished writing a snippet of Moths, and my past tense is all screwed up now. Even as I try to proofread this chapter, the tenses sound strange to me.**

**Review please, and hopefully the next chapter will be out soon!**

**Update! (Like five minutes after posting) I DO NOT OWN THE SONG THAT ORUHA IS SINGING. (The pervy one about the girl in the big dark wood). I got that from Miss Julie (not the play, the script, because I've not been lucky enough to have watched a live production of it), but I don't know if different publishers of the script would publish different versions of the song.**


	8. In your glass coffin

**Summary: Amidst funeral preparations, conversations happen.**

**Warnings:** **Kurofai, established relationship. This is post-series so spoilers for the end. There will also be spoilers for Fai's past later. Hinted TouyaYuki, Douwata, and other CLAMP pairings. Swearing, innuendo, a bit of violence later on perhaps? I'm not sure if the rating will go up in later chapters. We will see.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

* * *

><p>The rustling of the leaves outside—the comforting sound he'd awoken to most mornings—was, this morning, a melancholic one. Fai was pressed up to his side on the lounge sofa, wide awake but unspeaking, and people were sitting on the floor, on the armchairs, sofas, at the tables, on the stairs. Despite the crowd, the inn was heavy with silence. It was oppressive, suffocating; an air of tension mixed with grief and fear like a shroud. Outside, the birds went on chirping, blissfully unaware of the sorrows that had transpired. The world moves on, Kurogane mused, never stopping, never waiting for those still caught in a moment past.<p>

The creak of an opening door, the only sound in the sickroom hush that encompassed the inn, broke the silence. Heads turned as Suzuran slowly emerged from the kitchen, balancing a basin of warm water and boiled rags on a tray, together with strips of white linen—dressings. She silently made her way to the closed door a little aways, eyes focused on the water and not spilling it, ignoring the eyes that followed her as she quietly toed the door open and slipped in. The door clicked shut behind her, and Kurogane pulled his lover closer as Fai laid his head on his shoulder. His gaze snapped back up as the door opened once more, and Suzuran emerged with another basin of water. The rags draped over its side were browned with dried blood, and the water was a murky red. Slightly aways from them, someone made a quivering whimper of worry. But as everyone eyed Suzuran diligently making her back to the kitchen, Kurogane watched the door slowly close on the room within.

Subaru was sitting up, pale and small against the headboard, arm out as Yukito carefully stitched his gashes shut, unflinching. The white sheets were gathered around his waist, multiple pillows fluffed up behind his back. His head was tilted away, looking out of the window. But it was ultimately his expression that held Kurogane captivated.

It had been strange, meeting this new Subaru who'd been so much chipper, so much more _innocent _than the vampire twin with his melancholic silences and sad eyes. This person who Subaru had turned into overnight bore a lot more resemblance to that perpetually sorrowful twin, yet he was so _different_. His face was blank, expressionless, but instead of sorrow, his eyes were…void; they were the eyes of a man who had completely given up on life.

The door clicked shut once more.

Fai turned and buried his face into Kurogane's collarbone, and the ninja knew he'd seen it too. He bent his head and nosed into the juncture between pale neck and shoulder, rubbing his cheek against his lover's.

"Puppy," Fai whispered into tan skin, a half-hearted attempt at teasing. Despite the playful words, the blonde's voice was a sad, cracked rasp. And when the wizard drew back, he cupped Kurogane's jaw in his palm and smiled sorrowfully up at blood-red eyes, quietly mourning the loss of the boy they'd known, if only for a short few days.

There were some who died and moved on, and then there were some who died and stayed; a ghost trapped in a living body.

Clattering and mumbling came from outside, then the bell over the front door rang as the door swung open. A dark-haired youth—Rikuo, if he remembered correctly—slowly backed through the door, occasionally looking over his shoulder to make sure he didn't hit anything. He was holding something, carefully, making sure not to jostle it. He inched slowly into the living room, and Kurogane saw that he was carrying two wooden poles with a white canvas stretched between them. A pair of feet swathed in thick grey blankets made their appearance, and a few people stood to move things out of the way and to lean over to see who was in the stretcher. Kurogane stayed put, watching the solemn procession through the small crowd gathered. He could see a wrinkled hand hanging from the side of the stretcher and at the other end of the stretcher, the shopkeeper's archer stood, blank-faced. Someone gently placed the hand by the person's side, tucking it under the blankets.

Suzuran came out of the kitchen door again, then quickly made her way over, frowning in concern. She spoke with Rikuo for a short moment; Kurogane couldn't hear her voice, lowered as it was. Finally, she backed away and went back into the room where Yukito was with Subaru, basin and rags in hand. Doumeki and Rikuo turned slowly and began to make their way up the stairs. The crowd began to disperse, mumbling concernedly to one another, and Kurogane caught sight of grey hair at the head of the stretcher; he didn't know who that could be.

Raised voices, then the door at the other end burst open, and Subaru emerged, bandages unraveling around his forearm. Suzuran came right after him, Yukito following immediately after. Subaru tore his arm from Suzaran's grasp and made his way straight for the stretcher. He spoke to Doumeki for a moment, and attempted to take his place.

_"No,"_ Suzuran barked harshly, voice the loudest Kurogane had heard all morning, and Yukito ran over to catch Subaru by the arm. They spoke in hushed voices for a long moment, Subaru shaking his head stubbornly. Their voices gradually rose in volume, and several people stood, ready to interfere.

"I'm perfectly fine," Subaru bit out coldly, "I'm going up with her."

"No," Suzuran insisted, moving forward to grab him by the arm again, "We're not done with you. Get back in there before you hurt yourself."

"I'm fine."

_"No."_

"I said I'm _fine."_

Suzuran glared.

"I said _no."_

And Kurogane wasn't sure what happened next, but there was a moment of low, harsh conversation, words exchanged so quickly that he didn't quite catch it, a loud hiss, and then they were at each other's throats. The next moment, he was across the floor and wrenching Subaru away from Suzuran. Suzuran cried out, Subaru hissed, and red bloomed across the bandages on his biceps.

"Careful!" Suzuran chided, and reached for Subaru.

Kamui suddenly pushed past them and gently pulled Subaru away, shooting Kurogane a dirty look before turning to address Suzuran.

"Can we tend to him _upstairs?"_

"But the stairs…" Yukito protested.

"I'm fine," Subaru repeated tersely, placing one hand on the stretcher.

"No, you're not," Kamui told him bluntly, then turned to Yukito, "We'll be careful."

"He'll rip his stitches," Touya commented dryly from across the room.

"We'll be careful!" Kamui argued, and Suzuran made a strange strangled noise of frustration and worry.

"Can't this _wait?"_ she cried, "Let us get a stretcher or something. _Then _you can go up!"

"I can walk."

"No!" came another protest from across the room. The room erupted into worried muttering.

"Subaru, let them bring Obaa-san up," Kamui reasoned quietly, "Then they'll bring the stretcher down for you. It'll only take awhile."

"I can walk," Subaru insisted.

"You're _shaking! _It'll only take awhile," Kamui pleaded, "Just awhile!"

"I'm not an invalid."

Subaru made for the stairs, and Kamui caught him by the arm.

"Baa-san would tell you to stay down here," he said desperately.

Subaru turned, expression thunderous.

"Well, because of me, Obaa-san can't say _anything!" _he exploded.

Kamui shrank back, eyes wide and hurt. There was a long moment of silence. Subaru turned away, face blank again. His fingers tightened on the handle of the stretcher.

"So you think hurting yourself will make everything better?" Kurogane finally spoke, coldly. Kamui bristled.

"Don't act like you know—"

"You think hurting yourself will make your grandmother happy?" he continued, voice raising, "You think she _wants _this?"

Subaru did not answer. Kurogane scoffed.

"If you think hurting yourself will make everything better, then go ahead and rip yourself to shreds," he spat, "You disgust me."

"Shut _up!"_ Kamui snapped and lunged forward, hands sizzling with a strange light.

Fai stepped in and caught the boy's wrist, baring his teeth in a feral snarl.

"Don't interfere in other people's business, bastard!"

"Whatever happens to Kuro-sama _is_ my business," Fai growled, fingers snaking around the ninja's forearm, "He's _mine."_

Syaoran squeezed between them, hands held up placatingly.

"Guys, _please," _he began, "Let's—"

A jingle, and they turned to the front door. Yuzuriha stood on the threshold, eyes wide with dismay and horror.

"What's going on?" she asked, gesturing towards them helplessly, "Are you _fighting?_"

"Yuzu—"

"You are!" she accused, marching over to them, "Why are you fighting _now _of all times and—and _why is Subaru-san out of bed?"_

"Cause he's a masochistic bastard," Kurogane muttered dryly.

Fai dug his fingernails viciously into his arm and turned slowly around, smile sharp as a dagger and eyes furious.

_"Anything else?"_ he murmured dangerously, and Kurogane shut up. His lover could be scary when he wanted to be, and he didn't really want to get on Fai's bad side.

A moment of silence, broken by a sigh.

"My arms are getting tired," Rikuo told them flatly, "Do we mind if we get Obaa-san upstairs _first _while you people sort out your squabbles?"

Yukito backed away with a small squeak, looking guilty as he moved out of the way.

"Sorry, sorry," he apologized, "Go on ahead first."

Kamui gently laid his hand over Subaru's.

"Let go, Subaru," he murmured.

Subaru's fingers tightened over the handle of the stretcher.

"Let go," Kamui pleaded, gently attempting to pry Subaru's fingers off, "We should get Baa-san in bed."

Slowly, the fingers loosened, blood rushing back into whitened knuckles as Subaru withdrew hesitantly.

"Thanks," Doumeki deadpanned, and immediately began to ascend the stairs. Subaru watched with narrow eyes for a long moment, then turned back to the rest.

"I'm going up."

"No!"

"Subaru-san..."

"Just wait for the stretcher!" Suzuran said exasperatedly.

Subaru took one step up, and the room erupted into protests and cries of alarm. Kamui grasped onto his arm with both hands from the foot of the stairs.

"Okay, okay, we don't need the stretcher," he compromised desperately, "But please, _please, _at least let me help you up!"

He lowered his head, pressing his forehead to the back of Subaru's hand.

"Just let me… please," he murmured, "_Please."_

The corners of Subaru's lips pulled down as he looked down at Kamui's lowered head.

"Subaru-san," Yuzuriha began sadly, "Please don't hurt yourself anymore. It hurts us too."

Green eyes flickered to her for a second before returning to Kamui. There was a long pause before Subaru slowly nodded.

"….Alright," he acquiesced.

Kamui let out a shaky sigh of relief and immediately pulled Subaru's arm over his shoulders. Subaru leaned against Kamui and, when the boy didn't give way, sagged; Kamui's arm tightened around the man's waist. Subaru chuckled quietly.

"Sorry," he murmured almost inaudibly.

Then slumped over, unconscious.

* * *

><p>It was unsettling how quickly and efficiently everyone was working, not speaking a single word. Rikuo and Doumeki slowly inched through the door, this time with a long casket. It was a simple wooden affair, a little scuffed and carved not quite to perfection; coffins were expensive, and Syaoran didn't think Subaru had the money to buy a more fancy one. In another room, Yuzuriha was probably bent over a bundle of sheets and blankets, patiently patching the corpse up and cleaning off the bloodstains with the other women.<p>

He suddenly felt breathless, a lump rising in his throat as he thought of Hokuto's face, so peaceful that she could have been asleep if not for the terrible _stillness _of her body. He remembered Subaru bending over her body to close her empty green eyes, and then pressing a kiss to the back of her bloodied hand. He remembered just a short day ago, her smiling eyes and bright laughter, her (frankly) terrible singing and her playful teasing. Then he thought back a day before that, her kind words and her sorrowful smile, and couldn't but wonder. Had she known? Had she somehow foreseen that this would happen, that she wouldn't be around to take care of her beloved twin? He thought of her fond, loving eyes as she'd spoken of her brother. She had deserved better. She had deserved _better._

"Syaoran-kun?" Kazahaya called quietly from across the room, white sheets an a pillow in hand, "Are you alright?"

He managed a smile, and nodded, then quickly turned and quietly made his way up the stairs. Kazahaya absently placed the pillow in the coffin, his eyes a tickling presence of the back of Syaoran's neck as he arranged the sheets within the casket. The brunette quickened his pace, taking the last four steps two at a time, and emerging onto the second floor landing with a deep inhale, like a diver emerging from the water. The parquet was warm under his feet, heated by the sun streaming in from an open window. Outside, he knew that Kurogane had gone off with some of the other men to the cemetery with shovels. It was a hot day, and he supposed that Fai might go out with drinks and snacks in a while. Syaoran rummaged in the pockets of his breeches for a moment, pulling out the keys to his room. He paused as he attempted the fit the key into the keyhole.

Down the unlighted corridor, there was a dark silhouette of someone sitting curled up against the wall outside Subaru's room. _Kamui._

He quietly padded down the corridor, making just enough noise to alert the boy to his presence and still be unobtrusive, and settled down on the floor beside him. He pulled his legs up against his body, rested his chin on his knees, and said nothing. Back in Tokyo, the one of acid and blood and mutant worms, they had been twins. Here in this unnamed world, Subaru had Hokuto, but he could tell that Subaru was still important to Kamui, though in what way, he had no clue. Beside him, Kamui remained silent, not raising his head from where he hid his face against his knees. Syaoran hugged his knees a little tighter.

Finally, Kamui let out a quiet, self-deprecating chuckle, still not moving.

"It's times like this when I wish Fuuma was still around," he mumbled, voice muffled against his legs, "He was always better at all this comforting crap. I can't do that shit."

Syaoran leaned the back of his head against the wall, and stayed quiet.

"He's my _cousin," _he continued miserably, "And I don't even know what to say to make him feel better."

"Cousin?"

Kamui nodded.

"We've always been more like best friends than _cousins," _he explained, finally raising his head and propping his chin over his arms, "But we're both on our own now."

He frowned.

"That dumbass Fuuma," he cursed angrily, "Going and leaving like that. Bastard, when I need him most he's goes and disappears on me."

Syaoran remembered Fuuma of course, remembered his kind smile and strangely comforting presence. He supposed that Fuuma would be an excellent guy to have around in situations like the one he was in.

"He always knew what to do," Kamui grumbled, "Before he flipped of course. I just wish Subaru would let me _help. _Especially now that Baa-chan is in a coma and Hokuto is—"

The boy choked a little on the word, unable to get it out.

"Not here anymore," he finished lamely, and quickly buried his face in his arms again. It was then that Syaoran was hit with a sudden realization. It was a strange realization, but a realization all the same. Hokuto had been Kamui's cousin too.

"It's alright to mourn," he mumbled a little awkwardly, "No one's gonna fault you for that."

He sheepishly remembered Fai's words to his clone in that world with the great lake and its minuscule underwater city. _You can smile. You can be happy. No one will blame you for that. _But it was the same for being sad, angry, weak, and selfish. It was okay to be _human. _And now, more than anything, he wanted everyone to just let themselves be human.

His gut sank as Kamui shook his head.

"No it's not," he insisted, "I need to be strong _now_, more than ever, for Subaru, for everyone else. I need to carry on."

For a long moment, he watched Kamui curled up in the darkness, looking so much like a lost child despite all his efforts. Finally, he reached out and laid a hand on the boy's back.

"Sometimes it's okay to rely on others," he murmured, "Sometimes it's okay not to carry the world on your shoulders. Sometimes, I think everyone would like you to let us help you, too."

At that, Kamui raised his head, violet eyes wide and a little red-rimmed with unshed tears that Syaoran found himself wishing would fall.

It took a certain bravery to cry when you needed to.

* * *

><p>With a small sigh, he pushed open the front door. The lobby looked the same as it always did, warm, cosy, welcoming. Fai quietly closed the door behind him; it felt wrong to disturb the silence that the inn had fallen under. As he made for the kitchen, emptied dishes and dirty cutlery neatly stacked in the basket hanging from his arm, the normalcy was disconcerting. Then he turned, and through an open doorway, he could see an open wooden casket. He could see a broad back, and Hokuto's body hanging limply from the man's arms as he gently lowered her into the casket, tenderly arranging her limbs into a more comfortable looking position.<p>

He turned away, and quickly made his way into the kitchen, clearing his throat quietly. He emptied the dirty dishes into the sink, and turned the tap on, equipping himself with a sponge and a bottle of detergent. The wizard scrubbed determinedly at the cutlery, turning the tap stronger to drown out the low, hushed cadences of a baritone voice from outside. As the voices died down, gradually getting further and further away, he found himself thinking of Hokuto, her smile, her laughter, her cheeky wink… her blank, empty eyes as she'd laid in Subaru's arms. He closed his eyes, but her lifeless green eyes was clear in the darkness behind his lids, so he opened them and stared down into the suds on his hands. He tried to rid her unseeing eyes from his mind's eye, but all he could think of was her limp body, her blood on the floor, and her green, green eyes, so much like Sakura.

Fai shuddered, and scrubbed more viciously at the dishes. He never wanted to see Sakura's eyes like that. Had anyone closed Hokuto's eyes? Had anyone patched her body up? What would she look in the casket at her funeral tomorrow? The blonde closed his eyes and tried to imagine Hokuto in a pretty dress—bottle green to match her eyes—face peaceful and hands closed over a bouquet of roses, a beautiful last image to leave them all with. But instead, all he could picture was her torn and dirty dress, her eyes wide open, her lips bloodied.

He could go and see her now.

Fai turned and eyed the open kitchen door. There was no one outside. He could go and see her now. As quietly as he could, he turned the tap off and dried his hands, then crept over to the door and peeked outside. It was empty. Licking his suddenly dry lips, he closed the door behind him, and crossed the lobby, slipping quietly into the room he'd last seen Hokuto's body in. He felt like a child again, a scared child creeping through the palace with his brother to steal a last look at his mother's body. They hadn't been allowed to attend the funeral.

Hokuto lay in the casket, head cushioned on a small pillow, and her hands laid carefully over her stomach. Fai breathed out, and padded quietly nearer, peeking over the coffin at the girl he'd known for a short few days. Her eyes were closed, her face pale but peaceful. Her lips was a bit lacking of color, but she looked almost as she had the morning before. Her eyelashes were a stark raven against her pale cheeks, her short black hair an ebony frame around her face. She looked _beautiful. _Even in death. Fai suddenly felt the strangest urge to reach out and caress her face, press one last kiss to her hand _(nocan'ttouchcan') _but in the end he simply placed his fingertips lightly on the edge of the coffin.

The edges were strangely rough under his fingers, and as he redirected his attention to the casket, running his fingers across the unpolished wood, he became aware of the multiple scratches and bumps where the chisel had not properly smoothed. His finger caught a splinter, a small sting like an insect's bite. He absently raised his finger to eye level, and before his eyes, the splinter was slowly pushed out by healing flesh. On pale skin was a single drop of red, but the wound had already disappeared. Fascinated, he brought the fingertip to his lips, tongue snaking out for a taste.

His own blood did not taste nearly as good as his lover's.

He lowered his hand back against his side, and took a step backwards. The coffin was shoddily done, chips here and there, the wood of poor quality, unpolished to match. But he'd overheard Subaru quietly asking around, and he knew that he'd needed to borrow money for his sister's funeral. He felt a sudden pang of anger towards the world, towards whatever forces out there that had decided to do this to them. _Hokuto deserved better._

Before he could even properly think through what he was going to do, Fai stepped forward once more and laid his palm over the side of the casket. The magic left him in a rush, and despite himself he felt his eyes slipping closed, lips parting around his heartfelt words.

_"Let her body stay as beautiful as her soul," _he whispered, words emerging in the language of spells,_ "Let the outside always match the inside."_

His breath came out in a single breathy exhale, and he could feel his hair and clothes blowing back as a cool wind blew across his face. Under his palm, he could feel rough splintered wood give way to cool, smooth metal. He opened his eyes, calmly tracing over the silver framework that twined over crystalline glass, sprouting intricate leaves and flowers of pure silver. Hokuto's body glowed subtly with magic. _A preservation spell, _Fai recalled calmly as he watched Hokuto's face, eyes dreamily half-lidded.

The calm evaporated the next moment, replaced by an irrational fear as he took in the (pardon the immodesty) beautifully charmed casket, and Hokuto's radiant face against the pillows and _(oh gosh, peach satin)_ sheets. It was clear that someone had done something, that someone had come into the room.

_(can'tcomeincan'tlookcan'ttouchdemonchildmisfortune)_

He snatched his hand away as if the coffin had burned him, and quickly spun around. If he managed to get out of here before anyone came then maybe—

Subaru stood in the doorway, a long white dress draped over one arm. Staring. Him. _Down._

Subaru took a step forward, and Fai took a step back, feeling terribly like a doe caught in the headlight. His back came up against side of the casket, and Subaru's eyes released his own.

"Careful," he murmured, and quietly moved forward.

Fai watched him with wide eyes as he ran a finger over the framework, and finally turned around. His lips were turned up in a sad smile, green eyes filled with gratitude. Fai felt all the worry and fear drain from him, replaced with an almost overwhelming relief. Subaru turned back around and gently laid the dress over the side of the coffin.

"My sister, she…" he cleared his throat, "She loved to make clothes for me. So I thought I could…"

His hand tightened on the side of the casket, and he lowered his head.

"It's not as good as anything done by her hand but I…" he turned and smiled a small awkward smile, as if he didn't quite remember how to smile (Fai felt his heart break a little as he remembered the easy grin he'd gotten near the beginning of their stay), "Could you help me carry her out? I want to put it on her."

Fai blinked, and took a small staggering step forward.

"Can I touch her?" he asked in a whisper, and Subaru nodded.

"Why not?" he replied, "Hokuto would be so angry if she knew you didn't dare to touch her just because she's—"

He cut himself off, and turned back to his sister's body, clearing his throat. Fai quickly made his way forward and gently slid his hands under Hokuto's shoulders, grasping her under the arms as Subaru took her legs. They gently lifted her out of the coffin, and hesitated.

"Over there," Fai mumbled, nodding over to a bed a short distance away.

They carefully made their way over and lowered her slowly down. Then paused.

"Erm, should I…?"

"I guess I should…"

They both stopped. Looking down at Hokuto's body more than a little awkwardly. Was it still considered an invasion of privacy if she was no longer alive?

"What… are you doing?"

They turned to see Yuzuriha at the doorway, Kusanagi a curious presence behind her, a bunch of flowers in her arms.

"Fai~!" Mokona cried, jumping out from within the flowers and snuggling into the wizard's chest. Finally she looked up at him with red, teary eyes, "Mokona… Mokona went to pick flowers for Hokuto."

"That's nice," Fai murmured, stroking a finger over her ears.

"Mokona picked a lot of lilies," she told him, voice trembling a little, "And Mokona made a flower crown, see?"

She held up a small wreath of white flowers, and Fai smiled at her.

"How pretty," he praised, "Mokona is good with her fingers."

Mokona pressed her face back into his chest, sniffling and shaking. Fai gently stroked along her back.

"Oh _wow_," Yuzuriha suddenly gasped, moving forward inspect the coffin, "I leave for a bit and someone's brought a new casket."

She tiptoed a little and peered in.

"And changed the sheets too!" she observed admiringly, "These look expensive."

Subaru blinked.

"Actually," he said quietly, "Fai-san charmed the casket. And the sheets."

Fai averted his eyes, a little uncomfortable as Yuzuriha turned to him. Mokona perked up in his arms, straining a little to look over the coffin.

"Oh, it's so pretty!" she suddenly frowned, "But then why did you take Hokuto-chan out?"

Fai gestured towards the dress still draped over the edge of the casket.

"Subaru-kun made a dress," he murmured quietly, "For Hokuto-chan."

Yuzuriha made a strange sound half between a squeak and a disapproving click of the tongue.

"All of you," she commanded reprovingly, "Go stand over there. Turn away. I'll do it."

Fai sheepishly did as he was told, and quietly turned his back. Behind him, he heard the rustling of fabric, then a small appreciative sound from Yuzuriha.

"Oh, Subaru-kun," she gasped, "You made this? Hokuto-chan would have _loved _this!"

Subaru fidgeted a little beside him, and Fai smiled. The shy boy he'd known was still in there somewhere.

"Kusanagi-san," Yuzuriha finally called, "Come here and help me carry Hokuto-chan."

Fai hesitantly turned around. Kusanagi gently took Hokuto from the girl, and lowered her back into the casket. His gentility matched with his size reminded Fai of a bear. A great, huggable bear. He arranged her hands over her stomach again, and took a step back, looking fondly down. Finally he turned and grinned at them.

"She looks beautiful."

The wizard approached and stood over the casket with the others. Yuzuriha gathered the lilies and placed Hokuto's hands over them. From his shoulder, Mokona leapt down onto the satin pillow, carefully placing the flower wreath around Hokuto's head. Once she was done, she leaned over and gave Hokuto a kiss on the cheek.

"Mokona's parting gift…" she murmured quietly, "Hokuto looks especially pretty now."

In her glass coffin, Hokuto looked like an angel.

* * *

><p>Beside him, he could see Fai's shoulders trembling. Kurogane turned over and pulled his lover closer so that they were spooning, pressed together back to chest. Under his chin, he heard the blonde take a deep shuddering breath.<p>

"I've—I've never," he hiccuped a little, "I've never been allowed to attend a funeral before."

The quiet sniffles turned into a low keening.

"They didn't—didn't let us look," he sobbed, "They didn't let us see her one last time. They said she—she died out of guilt, for giving birth to—to us. They said—"

Fai broke off into uncontrollable sobbing, and Kurogane had never felt so strongly the urge to go back in time and kill those useless bastards over and over again for doing such terrible things to his beautiful, beautiful lover. But the past was the past, and there it would stay. So instead, he wrapped his arms more tightly around the blonde wizard, and wished that he could shield him from the world.

* * *

><p><em>Flying blonde hair and laughing blue eyes, a tiny hand clutched tightly to his own. Before them, a long grassy bank sloped down into a trickling stream, and behind them the forest stood at their backs, a comforting presence. Laughter, and a tug at his hand, and they went running down the slope hand-in-hand, squealing and giggling wildly as they splashed into the water, and fell over one another at the sudden resistance. Ahead of them was a tall, grand oak tree, looking over them like a great guardian. And behind them, the flagged tips of a stone castle peeked over the top of the forest canopy. But for now, they were here, and they didn't have to think about that.<em>

_After long minutes of splashing and screaming and just being _them_, they crawled slowly out of the water, still giggling breathlessly, and collapsed side by side on the bank. The ground was warm under his belly, heated under the wondrously bright sun, and the grass was a cushion alive under him. Over them, the great oak tree loomed, casting a gentle shade over them both. He closed his eyes and let his limbs sprawl out, rubbing his face into the grass, the wondrous, wondrous grass._

_They had never quite managed to sneak out before this._

_Beside him, his other half turned and flopped over onto his back, sighing delightedly. Small fingers brushed across his arm for a short moment, searching, before finding his fingers and twining them together. Haven. This was a haven. _Their _haven. Away from the fearful eyes and resentful glares and the noble children who laughed and taunted and sneered. He emitted a small, contented hum._

_"Isn't the world beautiful?" his twin wondered, "It's so peaceful here."_

_He replied with another hum, and cuddled up into the warm presence at his side._

_"I love you," he murmured after a short moment._

_"I love you too," his brother whispered in return, and leaned over to kiss him on the cheek._

* * *

><p>He woke in the dark, bleary-eyed and still half-asleep. He turned around in Kurogane's arms and tucked his head into his lover's broad chest with a happy sigh, still smiling fondly at the memory. It was one of his better memories, his fondest remembrance of Fai. Having that dream, and waking up in his lover's arms left him with a warm, beautiful feeling of childlike innocence, like how he'd felt lying in the meadow with Fai. In the face of that innocence, the day's tension, worry, frustration, and grief slowly melted away, leaving him pliant and content and warm. A dreamless sleep quietly crept up on him unawares, enveloping him tight like a warm hug.<p>

Later, he would remember that he could never have had such a memory. Valeria had always snowed.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Eh, I don't know if its just me, but I was a little conflicted with how I should characterize Subaru post-Hokuto's death. In canon, he was the chirpy, innocent 16 year old Subaru that I wrote previously before she died, but after she died, he swears revenge. Then there's a time-skip and he's suddenly 25 and a little more cold and reserved. After reading X, the TRC Subaru seemed a little strange to me. He was a lot more sorrowful than TB!Subaru, but a lot less... just go look at the X photos of Subaru. Expressionless and guarded. But because there was a time-skip, I have no idea what Subaru was like immediately after Hokuto's death. So I tried for a little more X!Subaru, but a little more "I'm gonna be stubborn just for the sake of being difficult" and still not quite... X!Subaru. Euurgh, I cannot explain things for nuts. In other words, you can pretty much take that as "Subaru is sort of OOC here because he's not quite like he was in TB, nor is he quite like how he was in X, nor is he quite like how he was in TRC either." He's a very awkward mix of them all.**

**NOTE: SPOILERS FOR X AND TB ARE UNBOLDED.**

**I have to say that I found writing Subaru really hard this chapter because he was always so distant in X, **(except the time when he SPOILERS killed Seishirou and was sobbing over him on Rainbow Bridge. I mean seriously immediately after that when Kamui comes in to see him he's all expressionless "I'm not changing out of this coat because it's his blood". And then he runs off all dramatically through the windows with the drapes blowing—did I mention dramatically?—to become the Sakurazukamori END SPOILERS)**and another person I found difficult to characterize this chapter? KAMUI! It's all the goddamned X characters! The Kamui of late X was a lot less spunky and more weepy than the Kamui of early X. The Kamui of TRC is just like early Kamui, and soooo tsundere! *squeals* Gosh, Kamui is adorable. The Kamui here is a lot more weepy and sensitive than TRC!Kamui in my opinion, that's because I decided to cross him a little with late X Kamui. But not completely, because late X Kamui is so hard to write! He's just so... resigned and expressionless and subdued and... LIKE SUBARU. Except that Subaru smokes and is totally hot. (But Fai is hotter when he's all VAMPIRE.)**

Honestly guys, after reading X, you'll just find it forever hard to characterize the X characters, especially after being influenced by TRC. ESPECIALLY SEISHIROU AND FUUMA. Fuuma of X is just like... -.-.

(spoiler) I am Kamui. Fulfill wishes. Enigmatic robot like destroyer of the world (end spoiler)**. And Seishirou is just like **(spoiler) I can break your arm and its like snapping a twig, I can kick you like this and it's like kicking a pebble across the road. You don't mean any more to me than that corpse over there so Imma kill you now, Subaru-kun. And then "you're too kind to kill someone, Subaru-kun, I _ you." and then he goes and dies in Subaru's arms. (end spoilers).**Seriously, I have no idea how to write Seishirou and Fuuma of X. Fuuma because... WTF HE HAS NO MORE PERSONALITY. Seishirou because I don't quite understand him enough. To me, he's not quite human the way Kurogane is, and the way Fai definitely is. In X fanfic, people try to write the SeiSub relationship from Sei-chan's perspective but my interpretation of Seishirou's character makes me discount those as... OOC. That is sort of the reason why I can't write X fanfic even though I love X and the X characters so much, because I just cannot interpret Fuuma's character in an interesting way, and I cannot understand my own vague interpretation of Seishirou's character. I can only write them in crack-fic. Seriously. That's the reason why Fuuma is conveniently out of the way here and Seishirou has disappeared after his TB!Friendly farce is up. In the end, I sort of keep to TRC!Fuuma and Sei-chan characterization. The TRC Fuuma and Seishirou are just soooo mild. In X they're like DECAPITATING PEOPLE RIGHT AND LEFT AND DESTROYING THE WORLD DDDDDDDDDDD. Or rather *haughty cold glance*. D is a bit too wannabe for Fuuma and Sei-chan.**

I think I have to read a lot more GOOD X fanfic before I can begin to form a more coherent interpretation of Fuuma and Sei-chan's character. Anyway, this AN is getting unbearably long, so I'll end it off here. I hope you people enjoyed this (a little longer than average) chapter, and if you've not gone off by now, thanks for sticking through my loooong rambling. Till next time!

**Review please!**


	9. Halved

**Summary: Mokona has a surprise at Hokuto's funeral. Later, Syaoran and Kurogane talk about complicated love.**

**Warnings:** **Kurofai, established relationship. This is post-series so spoilers for the end. There will also be spoilers for Fai's past later. Hinted TouyaYuki, Douwata, and other CLAMP pairings. Swearing, innuendo, a bit of violence later on perhaps? I'm not sure if the rating will go up in later chapters. We will see.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

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><p>"Kurogane-san, Fai-san!" someone hissed, "Get up! We have to go!"<p>

Blinking bleary eyes open, Syaoran's face came into focus. Beside him, the comforting warmth of his lover almost immediately slid out from under his arms. After a short moment, Fai sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He stifled a yawn and looked out of the window, through the sheer curtains; he thought he could see a faint light on the horizon.

"What time is it?" he yawned, and pulled his pants on, "It's still dark outside."

Syaoran yelped and averted his eyes as his surrogate parents got dressed. He really didn't have to see them climbing out of bed (which they had slept in together, mind you) completely naked. They had a distressing lack of modesty.

"I don't know," he replied, "It's dawn. I think they all wake up at this time everyday."

He strode over to the windows and yanked the curtains open. Over the thatched roofs, he could see the glow of sunrise amidst the darkened sky. Behind him Fai was shrugging his shirt on, rubbing at his eyes.

"That's insane," he groaned.

Kurogane scoffed.

"Lazy ass."

Syaoran turned around in time to see the blonde fling himself over the man.

"Well, we can't all be hardworking little ninjas like Kuro-pooonnnn~!"

"Shut up!"

Fai chuckled a little and flopped down onto the bed. Syaoran was half in mind to tell him not to fall asleep again, but was distracted by the small, contented smile on the man's face. It was one of those tiny little smiles that always seemed just a bit sad and just a bit nostalgic; the smile of a man who had lived long and seen much. And definitely, Fai had begun smiling a lot more of those genuine smiles since they had left Celes behind them, but they never failed to make Syaoran stop and smile for a bit.

"You seem to be feeling better today," he commented quietly, and Fai turned, blinking with wide, blue eyes.

"Eh?"

Kurogane sighed and yanked the wizard up into a sitting position. He laid a ribbon across his lap and turned Fai away from him.

"You're back to your annoyingly cheerful self is what he meant," he grumbled as he began carefully gathering Fai's blonde hair into a low ponytail, brow furrowed in concentration.

Fai laid his head back and hummed contentedly at the fingers combing over his scalp.

"I had a good dream last night," he murmured quietly, "A very good dream."

As Kurogane murmured a reply, Syaoran tore his eyes away from his surrogate parents, and left the room as quickly as he could; they didn't even notice him leaving. The scene had been strangely intimate even with minimal contact. There had been no hugging, kissing, or their usual inappropriate conversations—honestly, for men of the court, Kurogane and Fai had absolutely no sense of propriety. But even without all that innuendo, Syaoran had felt… like an intruder, like it was not something meant for him to see. It was strange how a scene like the one he had just witnessed could have made him more uncomfortable than their careless conversations.

He found himself really, _really _missing Clow.

The sounds of quiet conversation reached him as he approached the first floor landing. Through an open doorway, he could see a small crowd gathered. A silvery head turned, and Yukito smiled at him.

"Ohayo gozaimasu, Syaoran-kun," he greeted quietly as Syaoran slipped into the room.

"Ohayo gozaimasu," Syaoran returned.

He leaned against the wall, watching as a couple of the guys attempted to string two poles on either side of the coffin. It was beautifully charmed, all glass, silver, and the slight glow of magic. Fai really was talented. There was a sort of gentle refinement to his magic, which Syaoran had always found rare in those already born with so much magic. But he supposed that Fai must have had decades—perhaps even _centuries_—to master his craft. Fai occasionally helped him with spells, but seemed to prefer sitting back and allowing Kurogane to smack him around with a wooden sword more often than not.

"Sorry we're late," said the man himself quietly from the doorway.

"Look's like everyone's here," Yuzuriha commented, scanning the room once, "Shall we go?"

Kusanagi held onto one end of the casket.

"Hai," he said, with a smile, and Kurogane quietly came from behind to take the other side.

The coffin went first, out of the inn and down the path leading towards the cemetery. Subaru went right after it, and the guests followed behind him. As Syaoran turned around to make his way out, he caught sight of Fai. The blonde stood a little to the side of the doorway, out of the way of those moving out, looking a little lost and painfully alone without the large, steady presence of his ninja beside him. He looked like a scarecrow, like bamboo swaying in the wind; tall, thin and unsteady as tall and thin things often are. And so Syaoran approached him and smiled a little.

"Let's go, Fai-san," he said, and turned to go.

Fai followed him out, staying just a little behind him as they filed quietly out into the half-lit morning. From the corner of his eye, Syaoran saw a large grey husky trot over from where it had been laying in the grass, and join the procession. There weren't a lot of people attending, just the people who had known Hokuto, and those who had loved her; Syaoran thought it was pleasantly intimate. He had never attended many funerals in Hong Kong that he remembered very well, but he remembered attending two from the eyes of his clone. There had been his adopted father's funeral, and King Clow's funeral. Fujitaka's funeral had been a simple affair much like this; just his clone, some of the man's colleagues and friends, and Sakura. Clow's had been much grander, held in the palace courtyard. He remembered standing in the crowd that had consisted of the entire kingdom, staring over their heads to see Sakura's distraught face. He hadn't been able to see the body, and barely anything of the casket, and he hadn't been able to stand by the king's open grave to say his last words to the man. It had been impersonal, distant, perhaps even insincere. Syaoran much preferred small funerals to large ones.

He turned his head a little to look at Fai out of the corner of his eye. The wizard walked just behind him, looking around at the other people, and down at his fingers which he knotted and wrung and picked at. He wondered if the scale of the funeral made him uncomfortable. After all, Fai had been a royal in both of his home-worlds, and Syaoran supposed he'd attended a lot more of those grandiose funerals than these small ones. It was the down side to being a royal; you were public property, you had no privacy. It was the down side to being _known. _

Syaoran closed his eyes, and turned his face into the rising sun, taking a deep breath.

Later, when the sun had risen a little higher into the sky, and the landscape was awash in the morning light, the little iron-wrought gate to the cemetery swung open, and Kurogane and Kusanagi carefully brought the casket through. He could see immediately where they were headed. A distance over the green grass, he could see a large tree at the peak of a gradual slope, branches graced with delicate buds of whitish pink. At its base, he could see upturned earth and a little grey headstone decorated with intricate carvings that just screamed of magic. A light sweetness—slightly dulled by the unripeness of the season—floated down on the breeze, mingling with the scent of morning dew and grass. _Sakura._

They proceeded quietly up the slope and eventually stood around the seven foot gap in the grass. Fai silently moved to stand beside him, and peeked curiously over into the hole as the casket was lowered in and its lid opened. A priest in black stood at the head of it and began to speak as Kurogane walked over and stood beside the blonde. The speech passed in a rush of words and numbness, save for a short interruption when, beside him, Yuzuriha began to cry.

"It's like—like I just realized that she—that she's gone, that she isn't—isn't coming back," she sobbed through her hands, "No matter how much—how much I want to talk to her."

The priest handed her a handkerchief.

After the priest was done, Subaru stepped forward to give his eulogy. He quietly looked down at his sister in the coffin for a long moment, his face impassive despite the maelstrom of grief, anger, betrayal, and love in his green eyes. He had with him no script nor notes, just a little velvet box that he turned over and over in his hands like one might with a Rubik's cube. Finally, he took a small quivering breath, and spoke.

"I think," he said quietly, "That everybody here knows how beautiful a person Hokuto was, inside and out, so I don't want to trivialize that with words that can never do her justice."

He finally looked up, at all of them gathered.

"She was my twin. She died because of and for me. I think that in itself speaks of how beautiful a person she was."

He opened the box and took out a ring. Someone gasped.

"That's Obaa-chan's wedding ring isn't it?" Kamui asked, looking bewildered, "She gave it to you for you so that you could give it to your most important person. Why…?"

Subaru shrugged.

"So that she can find the one most precious to her. Wherever she goes next," he said, and held his palm out. The ring lifted off his palm and floated gently into the casket, sliding gracefully onto Hokuto's finger.

"Then what about you?" Kamui demanded.

Subaru smiled a little bitterly.

"I'll keep the box," he said, and pocketed it, "That way we can both have something of each other's."

Everyone kept quiet as the lid of the coffin was closed, and Subaru took the shovel. He stood by the grave for a moment, and Syaoran could see his lips moving before he dug the shovel into the upturned earth and threw a spadeful of dirt down over the coffin. Once. Twice. Thrice. He handed the shovel to the next person and moved away. Syaoran was familiar with this ritual; some of the places he had seen through the eyes of his clone performed this particular ritual. Usually, family and close friends of the deceased threw three spades or handfuls of dirt or sand over the casket both for religious and symbolism as well as for psychological purposes; Fujitaka had said that it helped to provide a sense of closure and finality for the attendees.

Again and again the dirt fell, small rocks occasionally clattering across the charmed glass surface like dulled tinkles of bells. Some people spoke aloud, some whispered as Subaru had, some simply stared for a moment, or closed their eyes, mentally conveying their last words before they shoveled the earth in and made way for the next person. A woman he recognized as the one who had housed them in another world—Kobato; the one with the talking blue stuffed-dog that sounded like Kurogane—went up, crying as she struggled with the spade. Eventually, a man with brown hair stepped forward and helped her to lever the spade out of the dirt pile. Yuzuriha went next, standing at the edge of the grave for a long moment with the dog by her side, holding the shovel almost like how a child might hold a teddy bear. Her lip trembled, and she burst into loud sobs.

"I'll miss you, Hokuto-chan," she choked, and collapsed into an inconsolable heap. Suzuran squatted beside her and talked to her in a low voice for a bit, and Yuzuriha finally nodded and stood. She threw in the three spadefuls, and retreated. Syaoran felt a lump emerge in his throat as the dog scuffed a small shower of dirt into the grace with a paw, three times, and slunk dejectedly after its owner. Someone nudged him.

"Go on then," Watanuki encouraged, "You next."

"Eh?" Syaoran spluttered, "_Me?_ But is that alright?"

He hadn't been _particularly _close to Hokuto…

"Why not?" Subaru asked, raising an eyebrow, "Hokuto would have wanted you to. All of you."

Fai started a little beside him, suddenly looking nervous. Syaoran stepped forward, and took the shovel. He looked down at Hokuto's face through the glass, eyes closed and ring-clad hand crossed over a bouquet of white flowers, mostly obscured by soil. He opened his suddenly dry mouth, but no sound came out and he shut it for fear that if he spoke, tears might start to flow.

_You deserved better, _he thought as hard as he could, and shoveled the customary three spadefuls in before thrusting it at Fai.

Fai took it, looking lost, and turned to look at the ninja.

"I—I don't know what to do," he whispered.

Kurogane leaned over his shoulder.

"If you have anything to say to her, say it out loud or in your head," he instructed, "And if you want, you can pray. Then throw in three spades of soil. That's all."

Fai moved forward as if through water, and stood at the edge for a moment.

"I hope its nice there," he finally said, "Say hi to my brother for me. He looks a lot like me."

A little round of soft chuckles went around the circle at that, but Syaoran didn't laugh. While it may have sounded light-hearted or even childishly innocent to most, the mention of Fai's twin sobered him right up; Fai was far from innocent. At the laughter, Fai stiffened a little, looking for all the world like a child who didn't know if he had done something he shouldn't have, and was waiting apprehensively to see if he would be punished for it. Touya clapped him on the back, chuckling still, and he relaxed and smiled a small smile. Carefully, _carefully, _Fai poured three perfect scoops of the dirt over the casket, then passed the spade to his lover.

Kurogane stepped up, looking over the casket.

"Take care of yourself," he said gruffly, "Or I'll give you a sound beating when I get to where you are."

There was another louder round of laughter, and even the corners of Subaru's lips looked to be straining upwards. Kurogane threw in the three spades, and realized they had come a full round already. The priest stepped forward.

"Thank you for your words," he said, "We will be coming to an end shortly, but first I'd like to have a last round of prayers."

The prayers commenced, and this time, Syaoran found himself clear-headed enough to pay attention and note the religious and cultural practices of this world. He'd come across similar religions before in some of the other worlds, but as the priest ended, making a strange gesture over his shoulders, something he'd never seen before happened. There was a light breeze that smelled like a rush of… _something—_something that passed too quickly for him to identify, something wonderful. With a rush of magic and a cascade of glitter that swooped down and over the open grave, dissolving into a small flock of white doves, a change rippled across the tree above them. The buds opened and blossomed, setting the cemetery awash in its sweet fragrance. Another gentle, _magical _breeze—as everyone muttered and burst into curious discussion—sent down a shower of fragrant flowers and petals over all of them, and then Syaoran staggered forward as something hit him in the back of the head with all the force of a punch from Kurogane.

"Bye Hokuto!" cried a familiar voice from atop his head, "Mokona is sorry for being late. Mokona was preparing Hokuto's gift!"

It was then that Syaoran caught a whiff of the strange residuals of excess magic that still lingered around them. At the same time, gasps went around the circle. It was a wondrous scent; that of summer days, green tea, fresh parchment, and oddly enough, _butterflies. _The butterflies was at a discordant harmony with the other smells, much more _heavy_ and sensual—almost like the drowsy haze of incense.

"What magic is that?" Kamui demanded, "It feels…."

_"Beautiful," _Fai murmured, and closed his eyes, lifting his chin slightly, "What a beautiful sound."

Syaoran's eyes widened. He had always known that different magic-users sensed magic differently, but he hadn't quite fully realized what that _truly _meant until now.

"What is it?" Subaru murmured quietly, walking forward to place a wondering hand against the tree bark, "It feels like silk, like cold water running down a snow-capped mountain in spring. It feels like…."

"It feels like innocence," Yuzuriha said simply, "So beautiful that you would cry for happiness if only the thought would occur to you to do so."

Syaoran looked around the circle, and everyone had curious little half-smiles on their faces, even those with no magic. Kurogane had his eyes closed, leaning as if into the air, as if into an embrace.

"They will always bloom now," Subaru said, more a realization than a statement, "Always."

He closed his eyes and breathed the scent in.

"The sakura… they smell like…"

He leaned into the tree as if it were a lover, and didn't complete his sentence.

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><p>Bandages and blankets in arm, Kurogane quietly trudged up the stairs. Beside him, Touya carried a basin of warm, boiled rags, the both of them obediently trailing after their silvery-haired "doctor".<p>

"Kurogane-san?" Yukito called quietly, bottles clinking as he looked through his basket of medicine, medical tools, and other strange things that Kurogane didn't really want to know about, "Do you have the cotton balls? I don't seem to have it here."

Kurogane grunted a no.

"Only got bandages and blankets here," he muttered.

"I have it," Touya said immediately, "It's in my pocket."

"Okay," Yukito said absently, and continued up the stairs.

They followed him around the corner and down the corridor. Behind them, Kurogane heard a door open, and he turned to see his lover emerging from their room, locking the door behind him. Yukito knocked on what Kurogane knew to be Subaru's door, as Fai smiled quietly at him padded over to the next door over. Subaru's door opened, however it was not Subaru at the door, but Kamui instead.

"What?"

Friendly, Kurogane thought dryly, very approachable. Yukito lifted his basket.

"Changing the bedsheets," he said, "And I have to redress Subaru's wounds."

Kamui quietly slipped out and closed the door behind him. A quiet rustle of fabric alerted Kurogane to his lover and the kid's presence behind him. Kamui nodded to them curtly before turning back to Yukito.

"Subaru is not here, I have no idea where he's gone," Kamui didn't look very happy about that, "But I can change Baa-chan's bedsheets for her."

"What's wrong with her anyway?" Touya asked carelessly, and Yukito glared at him.

Kamui pursed his lips.

"Coma," he said tersely.

Kurogane growled.

"That damn bastard," he swore, and everyone seemed to know who he was talking about immediately.

"A slimy liar that one was," Touya muttered, "Can't believe we all trusted his friendly facade and let him in here to hurt Subaru."

Kamui shrugged.

"He's the scum of the earth," he agreed bitterly, "But don't let Subaru hear you talking about him like that."

He took the blankets from Kurogane and retreated back into the room. He paused at the doorway.

"And hi," he said, before closing the door behind him.

Fai laughed.

"Hello as an afterthought?" he asked playfully, "Kamui-chan is improving."

He turned and waved over his shoulder.

"I'm going," he said, "See you later. Bye, Kuro-pin."

Kurogane waved back absently.

"I don't understand," he complained, "Why the 'don't let Subaru hear you talking about him like that'?"

"You'd think it'd make him feel better," Touya muttered to himself.

Yukito set down his bag with a _clunk! _and turned around with his lips pursed, eyebrows knitted crossly together. Touya took a little step back.

"You guys really are dense!" he scolded, speaking more to Touya than anyone else, "Don't you realize how he feels about Seishirou?"

"Endless hatred?" Touya asked.

"No!" Yukito cried, and sighed exasperatedly, "Subaru is in love with him!"

Kurogane let out a rather loud, rude _hah?_

"But he killed Hokuto!" he protested.

The silvery-haired youth looked at them disapprovingly.

"All the more you should mention him!" he said, "How do you think Subaru feels being in love with someone he shouldn't _ever _be in love with?"

Kurogane immediately quietened, but Touya frowned.

"That doesn't make sense!" he argued, "How can he still be in love with that guy? If you shouldn't be in love with someone because of something like _that, _then you _wouldn't _be in love with him in the first place because of that something!"

"Love isn't like something that has an on and off switch, To-ya!" Yukito chided, "It doesn't go away just because you think it should!"

The door opened.

"Please stop arguing about Subaru being in love with that bastard outside my door," Kamui said crossly, "Just the talk of it turns my stomach."

He closed the door again.

Yukito and Touya immediately made for the stairs, still arguing. Kurogane and Syaoran followed at a slower pace.

"Kurogane-san?" Syaoran asked slowly, as if hesitant to voice his question, but trying to find a good way to express it now that he'd already started speaking, "Why did you… Why were you quiet, after Yukito talked about loving someone you shouldn't?"

Kurogane turned and looked at him for so long that Syaoran nearly laughed it off, stuttered some pathetic excuse, and fled.

"Remember Celes?" he asked suddenly, and Syaoran started.

"Ah? What?" he spluttered, "Erm, yes. I do."

Even if he wanted to, Syaoran doubted he _could _forget it. The images that had been reflected in the shattered ice—those of Fai's childhood, and of his life before they had met him—they had haunted him for days afterwards. He wondered if it had been the same for Kurogane.

"When we… when Ashura showed us what Fai had been back there," Kurogane began, carefully as if properly choosing his words, "I realized that Fai was working with the man… the man who killed my parents, and the rest of my home village."

Syaoran stiffened. He had never quite realized the full implications of Fai's past towards Kurogane. In a way, he hadn't been able to quite associate Fai—sad, broken Fai who always had a smile for the kids despite his own pain, and who loved them as plain as day, he could see—with the dark, omnipotent warlock who had ruined his life, and had ruled almost his every moment from the time he had first stepped in, that faithful day on Sakura's seventh birthday. Kurogane, on the other hand, had always seemed distrustful of Fai, picking out his blatant lies and false smiles of comfort. Perhaps it was something of being a child. But if adults couldn't trust Fai based on gut feeling, based on the feelings of love and compassion and perpetual sorrow that he and Sakura had always instinctively known, then perhaps he didn't _want _to be an adult.

He had always known that Fai hadn't been completely truthful with them, right from the start, but like a child who just _knew _that his parents loved him, he knew that Fai loved them. Not at first perhaps, but as they had gone on. And right then, when he had seen what Fai had really been doing, there on that trip with them, he had still trusted him. Fai loved them, and Syaoran had never thought of the possibility that Fai wouldn't protect them, that Fai wouldn't turn against the warlock for them. Of course, the possibility of Fai dying had been foremost on his mind; first from the intention in his eye as he had turned away from him, to Ashura, and later again as he had curled trapped in that closing world. Even through his clone's eyes, he had loved Fai, and had felt loved by him.

Kurogane… Kurogane was different.

"I tried to hate him," Kurogane said, off-handedly, "I promised I'd avenge Suwa. But right then, when Fai was looking at me so wretchedly, I couldn't; I still loved him."

Syaoran reeled a little, surprised by the easiness of that confession. Outrightly, he didn't think he'd ever heard Kurogane say that to Fai face-to-face. Why was indirectly alright?

"I couldn't stop loving him," Kurogane continued, "Even though I associated him as the man who killed my parents."

He shrugged, suddenly grounded once more.

"Of course, I looked at his stupid face, and he looked so terrified that I realized that there was no way in hell he was going to do anything to us. It was only that Ashura guy who was controlling him, feeding him such stupid, sly words. So I killed him," he shrugged again, "Would have been way easier if that damn blonde bastard hadn't kept getting in the way. He's really stupid sometimes. Doesn't know what's good for him."

Floored by the simple complexities of Kurogane's character, Syaoran stared for a moment, taking that all in. Kurogane was straightforward. If a problem arises, find the root of it, and eliminate it.

"Kurogane-san!" Yukito called from the first floor, "You have the bandages don't you?"

Kurogane swore and hurried down the stairs.

"Yeah," he shouted back, "I'm coming now."

Syaoran stood on the stairs and watched his mentor hurry away.

* * *

><p><em>Yuui.<em>

_He opened his eyes, and saw nothing but mist. Down along his body, he could see the open window threw the fog. He sat up, head rising just over the smog. Through the curtain, a small pale arm extended, pulling the drapery slowly away._

_I love you._

_A child smiled at him, blonde hair fluttering in the draft, blue eyes fond. Drawing a intake of breath, he untangled himself from the sheets. The child glided smoothly towards him, arms raised as if to embrace him._

_I missed you, Yuui. I missed you so much._

_He swung his legs off the side of the bed and dropped to his knees, opening his arms to accept the embrace. The child's smile never wavered from his porcelain face as he drifted through the fog, condensation parting around him like water._

_Come back to me._

_His brother was small and warm in his arms._

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Sorry for the wait. This is embarrassing, but I have a reason! In my country, we have a school break that we call the June hols. So, naturally one would deduce that the June hols last til the end of June, and school begins on the earliest day of July (we don't have school on weekends). But APPARENTLY, school started on the 25th of June this year (can't remember if it's every year), and because I thought school was starting a week later, I didn't do any of my homework! So on the 23rd I checked my school email, and realized I'd gotten a message from the school reminding me that school was starting on the 25th! So the last week or so had been spent catching up on homework undone. Haha.**

**And erm, another reason for the wait was because I just couldn't find the right music for this chapter! I actually listen to a certain track over and over again when I write, but the track must match the mood I want for the chapter! The same goes for when I'm reading, though I'm a little more lax on the matchingness when I'm reading. For this story, I listened to Room of Angels from Silent Hill 4 at first, then later changed to La Petite Mort by Coeur de Pirate. Sometime later, I swapped it for the finale of Wicked (the musical). Finally, I switched to a bit of rock, Get Out Alive by Three Days Grace and Comatose by Skillet. Then for this chapter nothing really matched! In end I listened to Kaori Muraji's guitar collaboration with Ryuichi Sakamoto (on the piano) playing Forbidden Colors from the sountrack of Merry Christmas, Mr Lawrence. It's a really beautiful song and you can listen to it here : watch?v=ZA-NjYpRn34. The intro is pretty long but its so beautiful it barely sounds like an intro at all. My other WIP is also sort of stagnant because I can't find the right music :(**

**Spoilers ahead!**

**Oh, and for those who didn't get the last part of the funeral scene ("The sakura… they smell like…" He leaned into the tree as if it were a lover, and didn't complete his sentence.) in X, Seishirou is actually an assassin who goes by the name of the Sakurazukamori. He kills people and buries them under his sakura tree, which is the root of his power and requires blood to survive. His surname is Sakurazuka. When Hokuto is killed by Seishirou, he buries her under the sakura tree so that it can feed off her blood. The sakura tree is a sinister ghostly tree in the middle of Ueno park that blooms even out of season. The sakura tree in the cemetery is a parallel of it, but it is much less sinister.**

**End spoilers!  
><strong>

**Sorry for the wait, and review please! (Especially if you have a song to recommend me.)**


	10. Returning Butterflies

**Summary: Fai talks about his twin, and in his sleep, meets with his 'brother'.**

**Warnings:** **Kurofai, established relationship. This is post-series so spoilers for the end. There will also be spoilers for Fai's past later. Hinted TouyaYuki, Douwata, and other CLAMP pairings. Swearing, innuendo, a bit of violence later on perhaps? I'm not sure if the rating will go up in later chapters. We will see.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

* * *

><p>Opening his eyes in the dimness of early morning, the first thing he saw was Kurogane's serene sleeping face on the pillow next to him. This was one of the rare instances in which he had woken up <em>before <em>the man. After all, Fai loved his sleep; it helped his complexion didn't it? For a moment, he simply watched the man. The chiseled line of his jaw, the tan curve of his cheek, the sweep of his eyelashes a stark charcoal to match his hair.

"Good morning, you handsome devil," Fai murmured quietly, brushing a lips over the narrow bridge of his lover's nose.

And he _was_ handsome. Devastatingly.

Fai slipped silently out of bed, and began to pull on his clothes. Kurogane was a pretty light sleeper, though it seemed that he had gotten used enough to Fai's presence in his sleep that he didn't wake as easily to Fai's noises anymore. Fai stopped at the doorway to give his lover a last glance, and then closed the door on the sight of his lover still wrapped up in the pristine sheets, the lines of his face barely visible in the dim glow coming through the curtains.

He turned.

The corridor was dark, empty. It was quiet with a sort of dormant life, ready to be revived at any moment. He padded quietly down the corridor, down the stairs, through the lobby, and out into the early morning air with a deep inhale. The smell of morning dew lightened him, freshened him. And slowly, aimlessly, he began to walk.

Another dream. But this time…. _This _time, it left an empty coldness in his arms that it had never left before. Waking up in the mornings to Kurogane's arms warm around him was usually comforting after a night of mist and cold, but this time, even being enshrouded in the ninja's warmth did nothing to soothe the hollow ache in his empty arms, and in his chest. A hollow shaped like the soft, frail body of a ghostly child.

He startled into awareness as he found himself staring down at the iron-wrought gate of the cemetery. He swept his gaze up, up towards the picturesque boughs of the sakura tree, ever-blooming blossoms thrown into a gentle relief by the rising sun. Below it, he could see the shadow of the tombstone that marked the place where Hokuto lay.

He pushed the gate open with a long, quiet swinging of hinges. Perhaps some may have found it eerie to have been striding through a cemetery, but hadn't Fai lived in a graveyard for a timeless millennium? A graveyard where its inhabitants had never been properly laid to rest, with a large tower that acted as a forbidding headstone for those never-rotting in the pit, uncovered at it's base. A graveyard—a quiet pocket of hell ruled by a little prince of death, astride his self-constructed throne of mutilated corpses. Yes, a peaceful cemetery of peaceful deaths like this one was one he had nothing to fear from.

_Hokuto, _he called, turning the syllables over in the recesses of his mind, _Hokuto! _Had she not died, could they have been friends? But they had been friends; close friends then? A confidant and an advisor? She, like him, had been one half of a whole. She had been so kind and so wise, with the kind of otherworldly knowledge that constantly seemed to send its possessor to the grave. Hokuto…. _Fai… _They had always this aura of knowing. Sometimes they seemed so omnipotent that it seemed that they were never fated to continue on in the world of the living. A knowledge like that was one that belonged on the other side of life. A half of a whole, a half of a whole. But as he emerged up over the top of the slope, he realized.

Hokuto had been _one _half of a whole.

By her headstone, adorned in fragrant petals like a sakura crown, stood Subaru. In his hands was the box, which he turned and turned idly in his hands—the box that was now one half of a whole. It had been a symbolic gesture, though one that he had ached to see. Throwing away that ring intended for his intended, like a statement. _There will be no one for me. _No one. No one_ else?_

He remembered the Subaru of Tokyo, with his vampire twin, forever running from a man he seemed to want1 to find. They had come across another in their travels, a chilling man who smelled perpetually of sakura and blood, with an eagle's eye set in his socket, a mis-match to the green orb beside it. An eagle's eye that seemed all too familiar now, what with their recent encounter with Seishirou.

Traumatic experiences left a man changed. And in this case, all that was left was an empty shell of a velvet box, that had once contained something precious. But the heart of it, the precious contents of that box… it had died with Hokuto and now lay six feet under the soil, on a pale finger forever preserved by the magics of its coffin. It left behind a half of a whole, its fine velvet shell that was nothing without its other. After all, what was a box without a ring?

Without turning, Subaru spoke.

"Thank you," he murmured, impassioned, "For the coffin. I could feel the preservation spell on it. That must have been hard to accomplish."

Fai shrugged.

"It was nothing," he whispered.

Subaru leaned against the tree.

"Nevertheless," he continued, "Thank you. For giving Hokuto what I could not."

Fai stood there for a moment, staring at the still back of Subaru against the tree. Then he turned, and made his way down the slope in a dreamy haze of sorrows and memories. And at that moment, he…. he just wanted to be _held._

Away over the cottage roofs and the green canopies, he could hear a song of love and an age-long yearning.

"Oi, have you seen that idiot?"

Kamui blinked.

"Idiot?" he repeated, bemused, before his face lit up in understanding, "_Oh, _you mean _Fai?"_

"Who else?" Kurogane grumbled, and Kamui smirked.

"You've lost him _again?" _he half-taunted, "You should really keep a better eye on your lover, you know."

"I'll take that as a no," the ninja sighed, and turned away.

"He was at the cemetery early this morning," Kamui told him offhandedly, "Subaru told me so. I don't know where he went afterwards though. If he's not in the inn you can go ask the people in the town, he'd definitely have passed through there coming down from the cemetery."

A pause.

"Thanks," Kurogane said quietly, and threw the door of the inn wide.

* * *

><p><em>and his tune is heard<em>

_on the distant hill…._

* * *

><p>"Yes, I've seen him," Kobato told him, and frowned adorably, "You seem to be always looking for him, you were looking for him that day at the fair too!"<p>

Down by her feet, a little blue dog growled.

"She told you where he was the last time," he said disgruntledly, "But you didn't even say thanks. She's not going to tell you this time."

"I think he went off towards the woods," Kobato said, a finger on her chin as she thought, "The same as the last time."

"Baka Dobato!" the dog roared, "Why are you telling him?"

"Thanks," Kurogane made sure to say this time, and set off in the indicated direction. As he emerged out into the same clearing again, he caught sight of blonde hair.

"Oi, mage!" he called, "What the hell are you doing here? I was looking for you."

Fai did not turn. With an irrational dread, Kurogane took a few wide strides and caught Fai's shoulder.

"Fai?"

Fai took a single floundering step forward, and then back again.

"Singing…." he murmured, eyes half-lidded.

"What?"

Fai closed his eyes, and took a step forward again.

"Can you hear it?" he continued, "It's calling. Calling for _me_."

"You—Snap out of it!"

He took another step forward, and another. Kurogane wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him back.

"He's so lonely."

"Stop it!" Kurogane commanded, and turned to yell back at the town square, "Kobato! _Kobato! _Come here and _help _me with him! There's something wrong!"

"He's waiting for me!" Fai cried, and lunged forward again, against the cage of Kurogane's arms.

"Fai, look at me. Look at—"

"Fai's waiting! I need to go to him!"

Kobato emerged into the clearing, and ran forward with a startled cry.

"Go and get help!" she shouted back at the dog, as she grabbed hold of Fai's other arm.

"He's in there! Fai's lonely… I need…"

"Shut up!" Kurogane roared, "Look at me, damn you! Can you hear what you're saying?"

"Fai-san!" Kobato cried, "Snap out of it!"

"He's calling to me," Fai mumbled, struggling against them, "He needs me. He loves me."

He wrenched his arm from Kurogane's grip, and Kobato cried out helplessly as she dug her heels in, trying to prevent Fai from pulling her forward with him.

"Fai-san!"

From behind, Yuzuriha and Sorata sprinted forward and grabbed onto the blonde. Arashi followed closely behind, and Yukito came with her.

_"I know why the caged bird sings."_

Kurogane spun the blonde around and shook him by the shoulders hard.

"_Snap out of it!"_

Fai blinked, and his blue eyes came back into focus.

"Kuro-rin," he said, "What's up?"

Kurogane let go of him and took a step back.

"Why does the caged bird sing?" he demanded, and Fai blinked.

"Is that a riddle?"

"You just said it!" Kurogane cried, "You just said 'I know why the caged bird sings'! "

Fai shook his head slowly.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said, and finally looked around, confused, "What am I doing here?"

Yuzuriha and Sorata took a step back, and Kobato sunk to the floor in relief.

"Yokatta…" she sighed, "He's back to normal now."

The blue dog trotted over to her.

"He is _not _back to normal!" Kurogane hissed, and turned back to Fai, "It happened _again!"_

"Again?" Fai repeated, confused and disorientated, "What's going on? Where am I? Kuro-pin, what happened? What happened to me? This is the woods. Did I come here by myself again?"

Wincing, Kurogane pulled his lover into his side.

"It's alright," he soothed gruffly, "It's going to be fine. I'm not going to let this happen again. I—"

With a clatter, someone burst into the clearing.

"Yuuko-san?"

Yuuko stood at the edge of the stalls, bags by her feet and a traveling shawl over her ebony hair.

* * *

><p>As he pushed open the inn's door, he caught sight of Fai's blonde hair whipping out of sight, up the stairs. He let go of the door and strode forward to catch up with his lover.<p>

"Kurogane," Yuuko called, and he paused on the first step, "Come down with Fai later, I have something to tell all of you."

He shrugged and continued up the stairs. He didn't ask how Yuuko knew his name.

"Oi, mage!" he called, as he reached the top of the stairs, and turned to see the back of a blonde head retreating swiftly into their room.

Fai stopped, and turned a little to look at him out of the corner of a single blue eye. Striding forward, Kurogane slipped an arm around his waist. To his relief, Fai leant into him instead of shying away or throwing his arm off.

"You should lock me up in our room or something," Fai murmured, "So that I'll stop running away."

With a playful snarl, Kurogane manhandled him into their room, just a few more paces down the hall, and threw him down on the bed. Planting his hands on either side of Fai's head, he leant over his lover and bared his teeth.

"Maybe I should just keep you here in bed," he growled suggestively, "That way I'll notice whenever you try to leave."

Fai laughed.

"I bet you'd like that," he gave Kurogane's shoulder a light shove, still chuckling, "Move over, you great lump."

With a little snort of amusement, Kurogane rolled over so that he was lying on his back next to Fai. Stepping on the heels of his shoes, he removed them, and slid down onto his knees in front of Fai, just as his lover sat up. He grasped Fai's calf-length boot by the ankle, and grinned up at Fai as he kissed his knee.

"Allow me."

Fai kicked him playfully with his other foot, looking amused.

"Is Kuro-noble trying to play the gentleman?"

Kurogane ignored him and began to deftly unlace the boot, pulling it slowly off and leaving a line of kisses down Fai's shin as he did. Fai slapped him lightly across the head before he could get too low, and he transferred his attentions to the other boot. He pulled it off with a lot less fanfare than its twin, and unceremoniously grabbed Fai by the waist, throwing him up against the pillows. He crawled slowly over him with a self-satisfied smirk, and pressed a swift kiss to Fai's cheekily smiling lips.

"No," he replied slyly, "Just trying to get you in bed with me."

Fai let out a noncommittal hum and pulled him down again. With a sharp twist, he found himself on his back, with Fai smirking down at him. He tried to flip them over again, but the blonde pinned him down by the shoulder.

"Ah ah ah~" Fai whispered mischievously, "Why should I let Kuro-naughty be on top today?"

Kurogane grinned.

"Cheeky."

With a swift jab to Fai's inner arm, Fai collapsed down onto one elbow. Kurogane pulled him down until the wizard was sprawled over his broad chest. Chuckling low in his throat, Fai squirmed up and bit Kurogane's jaw, not hard enough to break the skin. Kurogane smacked him sharply on the side of his thigh, growling playfully. Fai butted him under the chin in retaliation, a surprisingly feline gesture, and turned his face up to look at him.

"Are we really going to do this?"

Kurogane shrugged. What he sensed from his lover didn't imply that he wanted continue on, and he didn't feel particularly aroused himself.

"Only if you want to."

He wasn't surprised when Fai turned and flopped down beside him, but rather surprised when he did nothing but lay there on his back with his eyes closed. Kurogane quietly turned onto his stomach and rested his chin on Fai's shoulder; the blonde felt as if he was in a cuddling mood.

"What?"

Fai shrugged. Or rather, attempted to shrug. With Kurogane on one shoulder, he only succeeded in a strange, one-sided cringe of his shoulders.

"Nothing."

Kurogane watched him for a moment longer; the freckles dusted across his nose, the smooth expanse of his pale brow, the yellow-brown curve of his lashes.

"You mentioned your brother, you know," he mentioned casually, "When you were all trance-like and creepy."

Fai stiffened, and Kurogane smiled. _Bingo._

"Did I?"

Kurogane hummed lazily in affirmative.

"Wanna talk about it?"

A pause.

"Not… particularly."

That meant _yes, but I don't want to bother you about it._

"But I'm curious," he drawled, and turned his head so that his cheek was against Fai's shoulder instead, "What was he like?"

Hesitation, then:

"He was kind," Fai said slowly, "And understanding."

Another moment of hesitation, and then everything came pouring out in a rush.

"He never blamed anyone for our fate. He never resented the noble-children for saying those terrible things to us. He never hated the adults for taunting mother to her death. He never blamed mother for hating us."

Fai took a deep breath before continuing.

"He always knew when something would happen. When one of the maids would be caught for theft and thrown out of the palace, when one of the noblewomen would get pregnant, when dinner would come. There was once he congratulated a noblewoman for her pregnancy two weeks before she found out she was expecting, and she was so offended because she thought he was being insolent."

Fai smiled

"He was a dreamseer," Fai said in a whisper, "He dreamt of things outside of Valeria, things that he didn't always tell me. Sometimes his dreams leaked over into his waking moments and he'd just freeze for a moment, overcome with a vision. Sometimes he'd try to continue walking, so that people around him couldn't tell. _Others _called him clumsy, cause he'd walk into things in the throes of his visions."

Kurogane's eyes widened. Even _Tomoyo's _visions had always stayed strictly within the realm of dreams.

"He knew everything about the world and the worlds outside it, everything insignificant and grand. But he could never quite do the same magic that I could. The same way I could never quite do the magic he did."

Fai twisted around a little, and Kurogane immediately turned onto his back, holding one arm open. Fai cuddled up against his side.

"He could control things," he murmured, "He could make the grass sway2 and the flowers bloom. I caught him once making a rat dance under his gentle fingers. And he had this knack for _hiding."_

_"Hiding?" _Kurogane repeated, intrigued despite himself.

"Yes," Fai whispered in a manner almost conspiratory, "He could make a coin look like the tiles around it, or make our room seem empty even though we were _right there. _We had fun with it sometimes. We'd play pranks on the noble-children."

Kurogane closed his eyes, and gripped Fai tighter to his side.

"You two just sound like a pair of innocent kids," he observed, a little sadly. He couldn't picture how the people around them could have thrown them to the fate he knew had played out afterwards. How they could have _condemned _kids who were so blatantly _normal._

Under his palm, Fai trembled.

"If there's good in this world," he half-choked, "That would be Fai."

Kurogane rolled over onto his side and wrapped Fai up in his arms. Stroking one hand down his back, he pressed little kisses over Fai's face. The corners of his eyelashes were damp, but his cheeks were dry. Fai eventually pulled away blindly from his lips, and burrowed into his chest.

"I'm tired," he whispered, voice quivering, "Sotired."

Kurogane yanked the blankets over the both of them.

"Then sleep."

He felt the sweep of Fai's lashes against his neck as Fai closed his eyes, holding the man close as he felt the smaller body in his arms slowly, _slowly _relax.

"I love you."

He let out a short breath.

"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled, "I love you too. Go and sleep."

Quieting snoring was his only reply. Gently, so as to not wake his slumbering lover, he leaned down and buried his face in Fai's hair, taking in a slow, deep breath. Fai smelled like sweat, vanilla, and a deep musk that was a surprisingly masculine contrast to the sweet vanilla. It was the familiar smell of _Fai._

"I love you," he whispered quietly into Fai's hair, "I love you, I love you, I love you."

He stopped, completely silent for a moment to determine whether Fai was truly asleep. His lover would _never _let him live it down if he'd heard him. Oh no, it would be Kuro-sweet, Kuro-shy, Kuro-_romantic _for the rest of time. There was no break in the snoring, so Kurogane relaxed.

Three knocks on the door, and Kurogane hissed.

"Yuuko-san wants to see us all now," came Doumeki's dull deadpan through the door, before the quiet thuds of his footfall lead down the corridor.

Kurogane looked at Fai's serene sleeping face for a moment, and decided. He slid his arm slowly out from under Fai's head, and gently replaced himself with his pillow. Fai turned his face into the pillow and breathed deeply. Kurogane wondered if it smelled like him.

Silently as he could, he pulled the tucked the blankets around Fai, and stepped into his shoes. He crept around the room and gently blew out all the candles. At the doorway, he turned back towards Fai's sleeping form; his hair shining silver in the darkness, legs tangled in the sheets.

"Oyasumi," he said quietly, and closed the door, blowing out the last candle by the doorway as he did so.

He had not the heart to wake his lover.

Padding quietly down the stairs, he saw a lit doorway in the darkness, leading into closed restaurant where they usually had breakfast. He slipped in, and found himself facing Yuuko, gazing half-lidded at him from the head of the table. Kakei sat on her left, and Suzuran on her right. Watanuki stood behind her, and Doumeki behind _him. _The rest of them were scattered around the room. Syaoran, in particular, was sitting in the chair nearest to him, so Kurogane stood behind him, placing a hand on the back of his chair.

"Fai?"

Kurogane shook his head.

"Sleeping," he replied curtly, "He's tired."

Yuuko inclined her head.

"Alright then."

A pause. Timidly, Kamui spoke up.

"Subaru," he called, "Won't you join us?"

Subaru sat on the cushioned ledge of the windowsill, facing out over the darkened village. It was late enough that there were barely any flickers of light within the windows, and over the streets; the people in this world retired early. At the call of his name, he turned his head slightly, just enough so that one impassioned green eye made its appearance. He said nothing.

"I'm sure he can hear us just fine," Yuuko said calmly, and blinked slowly, "As you all know, I've only arrived back at the inn today. I have… news for all of you."

She paused again, and Kurogane rolled his eyes.

"Get on with it," he scoffed, and Yuuko laughed.

"Straightforward, I see," she teased, sounding faintly amused before solemnity returned, "As I was saying—"

There was a clatter outside. Everyone turned. Yuuko didn't even blink.

"Kurogane," she called calmly, "Kindly check on the reception, if you will."

Kurogane shrugged and turned.

"Continue without me," he said over his shoulder, and headed out into the darkened lounge.

* * *

><p><em>There was fog pouring in through his window, clouding over the floor.<em>

_Come to me._

_The mist was rolling around him, swarming about his feet, around his waist, up against the ceiling. It obscured his vision, made everything dull and unclear in its shroud of illusion._

_Come to me, Yuui,_

_Through the fog, he could a dark shadow standing at the window._

_Yuui._

_The dense haze rolled past for a moment. Blue eyes twinkled at him, porcelain doll's face smiling tenderly at him. The fog enveloped the child again._

_Yuui._

_The voice had changed to that of a child. _

_I love you, Yuui._

_The figure swept past him, out of the door behind him and disappearing down the stairs. No! He couldn't leave! There was a strange distant murmur from somewhere else, but that was not important._

_Come to me._

_He rushed down the stairs, smog parting around his legs as he ran, following the dark shadow always just ahead of him. Wait! Don't go! he cried as it disappeared around the corner, Come back! He turned the corner, and there he was, waiting at the inn's door. The fog rolled past again. Blonde hair swished as the figure spun around, and continued out of the door, mist sweeping back in. Wait!_

_I love you. Come to me._

_He ran barefoot down the cobblestone path, holding his dressing gown tightly around his frame. The murmur had risen to a persistent humming from behind. He was about to turn around to search for the source of the noise, but the whip of short blonde locks suddenly slipped around the corner again. If he turned now, he would lose it. He couldn't lose it. He couldn't!_

_Yuui. Yuui. _

_He turned that last corner. And that beloved face was smiling fondly at him, more radiant than he'd ever seen him. He was wearing a set of white robes, practically glowing in the dim, grey town. His apples were pleasantly flushed, glowing from his beautiful smile. That smile, the same one he'd always looked at him with. Shadows rose high behind him. Trees. They were at the edge of the wood. The humming had risen to a roar, like the roar of a river raging right past his ear. How annoying. But it wasn't important. Not at all._

_I love you, Yuui. Let's be together always._

_Oh god, that roaring in his ear was getting unbearable. What was going on? Not that it was important. But oh, oh! How loud it was. It wasn't important though, he could just ignore it. But it was getting too loud to ignore! He was going to turn around right now and tell whoever was making the noise to—The child turned and disappeared into the forest. No!_

_Let's be together always._

_No! Wait! He took a step forward, and the roar turned into a voice. A voice so familiar and so loved that he would never miss it._

'Fai! Fai!Fai!'

* * *

><p><em>"Fai!"<em>

Fai blinked. Kurogane was shaking him by the shoulders, red eyes fierce, and teeth bared into a feral snarl. It was dark, probably in the middle of the night, but he would be able to recognize that face even in the poorest of lightings.

"Kuro…sama?"

The steel in those crimson eyes cracked, and suddenly he could see the worry and the relief in them as Kurogane sagged, looking so very lost. Fai was baffled.

"What happened?"

At his concerned questioning, the ninja suddenly exploded into rage.

"_What happened?" _he roared disbelievingly, Fai took a step back in shock, "Are you trying to be _funny?"_

"K-Kuro-sama?"

Just as quickly as the anger had come, it disappeared, leaving only that strange vulnerability. Kurogane embraced him. And yeah, he liked being hugged by Kuro-rin, but there was something strange going on here. Fai slid his hands up his lover's back, clutching at his shirt and burying his face into that broad chest for a moment before pushing Kurogane away.

"What's wrong?"

The warrior embraced him again, burying his face into Fai's shoulder.

"I—You… You just got up and…"

Fai frowned in confusion.

"What? What are you talking about? I just got up and…?"

Kurogane took a deep breath, and turned him around.

"Kuro-pii, what are you—"

His eyes widened.

They were standing at the edge of the wood.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Wow, at first I was thinking that I wouldn't be able to update FtA this week, and I felt as if I'd drained all my inspiration in writing for my other WIP (Moths). And then yesterday I had this burst of inspiration and I wrote all the way until the point Yuuko returned before I sort of dropped dead. Or more like dropped asleep, haha. And of course, once I got going, I knew I just HAD to have an update for you guys this week, and so today I sat myself down, stared at the outline I have written, and made myself write the rest of it. And so here we are! Chapter 10!**

**Anyway, things are really picking up right now, and I foresee that this fic might end around 15 chapters. Oh wow, I just heard music blasting from the hotel next door 0.o... And I live on the 36th floor. Back to the point, I kinda found that the finale of Wicked REALLY fits my writing mood for this right now. Rock just isn't doing it for me anymore. Hmm, I don't know how regular updates will be from now on because I have a CHUNK of deadlines coming up soon. It might not affect my writing schedule, but just in case it does, I'll definitely try to keep my updates to every two weeks, at worst, and try my best not to cross the three week mark. As with writing, my work often comes in bursts of inspiration as well, so when I find my inspiration to do that essay, I'll just sit down and write it all out in a chunk. Then I'll talk to my teacher, and force myself to refine for a few days. Hopefully that inspiration will come, and my writing schedule won't be affected. _**

**Please review! Reviews inspire me! (And by the way, I thought I'd tell you guys that I really love all you people, because I'm getting an average of 7 reviews for this fic when I usually get only 4.)**


	11. Fight and Flight

**Summary: Yuuko delivers a sobering announcement. Kurogane and Fai fight, and disaster strikes.**

**Warnings:** **Kurofai, established relationship. This is post-series so spoilers for the end. There will also be spoilers for Fai's past later. Hinted TouyaYuki, Douwata, and other CLAMP pairings. Swearing, innuendo, a bit of violence later on perhaps? I'm not sure if the rating will go up in later chapters. We will see.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

* * *

><p>The soft creaking of wooden planks from behind alerted him to their presence. As he turned, he caught sight of his surrogate parents coming down the stairs. Between them, their fingers were discreetly intertwined, pale and tan. Fai's stricken face was pale, paper-like in its sickliness. Kurogane gave his fingers a squeeze.<p>

"Everyone is here," Yuuko murmured from the head of the table, her voice resonating clearly.

"Shall we begin?" Kakei asked, seating himself on her left.

She waited before all muttered conversations died down, before she sat back in her chair, twining her fingers in front of her.

"I shall not dally further," she said impassively, "When Mokona found me two days ago, I knew I had to return before it was too late."

Around her, her audience fidgeted, uncomfortable with the severity of her words. Syaoran bit his lip, and listened.

"There is something in the woods," she continued, "A source of _immense _power. But this is not what I rushed back to tell you about. No. What is of utmost importance here is to keep the balance."

"How?" Syaoran found himself asking, "How do we keep the balance?"

Yuuko blinked slowly at him, and for a moment he felt chided for interrupting her. But then she smiled at him, and turned to Fai.

"Fai," she said matter-of-factly, "The presence of the three of you, or more specifically, _Fai's _presence here, is what will tip the scale."

Fai started, staring at Yuuko with wide blue eyes. Beside him, Kurogane moved closer to him, stepping directly into his personal space.

"Under no circumstances should Fai be allowed to enter the woods and meet with the source of that power. The consequences of such an error would be… disastrous."

A moment of silence.

"But…" came a timid little voice, just on the edge of despair; it was Fai, "But _why?"_

Yuuko simply _looked _at him, unspeaking, face completely neutral.

"It has nothing to do with your…. perceived curse," she said finally, and Fai looked marginally relieved, "Would you like an explanation?"

Kurogane scoffed.

"I think we'd all like an explanation," he groused, gesturing towards the others in the room. Syaoran looked around and saw a room of pale, worried faces, curious and uncertain in the morning light. Yuuko paused for a moment, as if weighing her words; what should she say, and what should she not say?

"The worlds," she finally began slowly, "The dimensions, and the universes. They are interconnected into a single plane called the cosmos."

She paused, as if for dramatic effect.

"All things have a weight," she continued matter-of-factly, "Each planet has its weight, each world, each dimension, and each universe. And that is determined by the force of gravity. But on a more intangible plane, a plane outside of the material plane, but still a part of this world, each _person _has a weight as well."

Kurogane looked as if he would like dearly to say "Well, _duh _we all have our own weight." Syaoran discreetly eyed his mentors quite alarming height, and estimated that he must weigh over a hundred and eighty pounds. The corners of Yuuko's lips quirked upwards as she watched the ninja.

"On that intangible plane," she continued, looking very much amused, "I think Fai would weigh as much as Godzilla in this world. And Kurogane an _itty-bitty _ant in comparison."

The ninja's eyebrow twitched dangerously as Yuuko playfully closed one eye, and pinched her forefinger and thumb together. She laughed, but a moment later, was solemn again.

"Imagine, if you will, a stretch of the finest of spider-webs, so fine that its resembles cloth, suspended in midair and held on all four sides," she elaborated, "This is the fabric of reality, and the net is the connection between all things. The slightest fidget from anything on the web would cause ripples across its surface that would affect everything else on it."

She paused for a moment.

"Watanuki!" she called, "I want some sake!"

Immediately, Watanuki puffed up, face turning slowly red.

"_So early in the morning?" _he yelled, "_You haven't even had breakfast!"_

Yuuko only grinned, and Watanuki stormed off into the kitchen for a moment, and returned promptly with a bottle of sake and a cup. Grumbling, he slammed the cup down in front of Yuuko, and poured the sake into it. Yuuko cleared her throat.

"Now, Fai has a weight very much formidable," she continued, "Being a person of vast magical power and potential. Subaru and Hokuto had quite a formidable weight as well, being twins. Twins hold a special place in that plane, in the sense that their power can be considered as one, no matter the physical distance between them on a single plane."

Fai twitched a little at the mention of twins, but did not otherwise react. Yuuko smiled a secretive little smile, and there was no doubt that she had noticed it.

"Now picture a weight placed in the middle of the web. What happens?"

"It sinks," Kobato answered, looking baffled at the strange analogy.

"Now a lighter weight is placed on the web," Yuuko continued, "What happens?"

A pause.

"It would slide down, towards the heavier weight," Syaoran finally answered.

Yuuko smiled.

"Now imagine," she murmured, "Imagine a great many somethings pulled intp the pit of that web. Imagine the magnitude of that weight. What happens to the web?"

"It would break_," _Fai answered, frowning, "But isn't that the basis of dimension travel? The magic-user exerts his or her weight upon the fabric of reality until it gives way, forming a tunnel that leads you out into another world."

"Ah, ah~" Yuuko crooned, "You're getting ahead of yourself. That's on the _physical _plane. We're talking about the intangible, here."

"But wouldn't the intangible be broken _along _with the physical?"

Frantically, Syaoran tried to grasp the essence of where the conversation was going.

"Ah, but the fabric of reality on the intangible plane is much more resilient than the fabric of space-time on the physical," Yuuko counter-argued, "And in dimension-traveling, you seek to affect the physical plane, which is a plane much closer to us that the intangible. And because of this, the fabric of reality is much less affected than that of space-time. To break the fabric of reality, is something that would end in _disaster._ That does _not _mean, of course," she added quickly, "That the fabric of reality is not affected. Both space-time and reality will be greatly affected by this surge of power aimed specifically at breaking it. This is why most magic-users will only ever walk the worlds once. And this is why dimension traveling has such an exorbitant price. Do you understand?"

Fai nodded.

"Then why are you here?" he asked, a little bitterly, "I do not believe that you do not remember your past lives in other worlds. And we were told that you had died in all worlds, and that you no longer existed in all the universes. Why did you gather all these magic-users in this inn? You cannot tell me it was not deliberate. Why are you adding to the weight of this world when you are determined not to break it?"

Yuuko blinked slowly, and around them, the staff started and eyed one another.

"This inn," she began finally, "Is in a different space than the town around us, and the woods adjacent to it."

Syaoran's eyes widened. _Like the shop. _He and Watanuki were both disturbances to the fabric of reality. And so, one was confined to a shop outside of space-time, and the other was cursed to walk the worlds until the time he could resolve the paradox of his own existence.

"Are we outside of space-time as well then?" Syaoran asked, "Like the shop?"

But Yuuko shook her head.

"Tell me now, if two equal weights were placed on two ends of that web, would they be drawn towards each other, or would they balance the web out equally?" she asked them, "The inn is here to balance the imbalance of this world, not to confine a disturbance to reality in a place outside of space-time. The inn is simply in a space far from the woods. And that is why it appears to everyone as something grounded solidly in this world, unlike the shop."

"So you're _collecting _us," Kamui stated flatly, "You gather us from wherever you can find, and bring us to this inn. And those of us that had just happenedto be passing through, you collected us too."

Yuuko smiled a little sadly.

"You make me sound so cold, Kamui," she said, "It is hitsuzen that you are here. Subaru came here of his own accord, did he not?"

At the mention of his name, everyone turned to look at the boy. Subaru stared impassively back. He did not offer any explanation.

"Why?" asked Yuzuriha timidly, "Why does the source of all that power want to break reality then?"

From across the table, Kazahaya blinked.

"What makes you think he wants to do that?"

"Why else would he be trying to lure blondie to him?" Touya muttered.

"Maybe he wants to be able to bring dead people back to life," Syaoran immediately speculated, thinking of Fei Wang Reed.

Kamui scoffed.

"What made you think of _that?"_

"It's possible!" Syaoran defended, feeling his ears heat up from embarrassment.

"Maybe he simply didn't know," Kobato offered innocently, frowning as she pressed a finger to her chin in thought.

"But why Fai?" Kurogane cut in, "I think he knows exactly what he's doing."

"Is it even a sentient _person?" _Kusanagi challenged, "Maybe the source of that power is an entity formed from the collective sentience of the woods. Maybe it simply wants to give us a warning so that we'll stop hurting animals and cutting down trees."

Yuuko was strangely silent.

* * *

><p>"A desire for destruction."<p>

Kurogane faltered.

"What?"

Fai sat on the windowsill, much like he had just almost a week ago, though that time now seemed so far away. He gazed out over the town, lit brightly by the afternoon sun, over the stretch of neat thatched roofs, the hill that obscured the castle that they now knew lay beyond it, and the mysterious woods adjacent to the town. The sun from outside lit the edges of his frame like a neon outline in the dimness of the room, like a smoldering log that burned red-hot on the outside.

"A desire for destruction," he repeated quietly, "I think he just wants to see the world burn."

Kurogane blinked.

"I don't think so," he disagreed, and quietly began to make their bed, "You said so yourself that everyone does the things they do because they thought it was for the best, or because they had weighed their options, and had valid reasons for doing what they were doing. There is no one truly wicked."

"Maybe committing wicked deeds even with good or justified intentions does make you wicked," Fai said impassively, "Maybe I'm wicked, along with the rest of Valeria, and Reed as well. Maybe they were all right, and I only bring trouble because of my wickedness. That's why I'm being used to destroy _this _world as well, aren't I?"

Kurogane reeled for a moment at the sheer _wrongness _of his lover's view of the world. It was insane, _absurd _that anyone could simply link all the wrong in the world back to himself again.

"But—" he began, grasping desperately at straws as he sought an argument to convince Fai out of his wrongness. Finally, he arrived at his argument, and turned defiantly to his lover, "Then I'd be wicked as well for doing what I do for a living."

"You are," Fai agreed without pause, not even deigning to glance back in his direction, and Kurogane felt irrationally hurt. When considering Fai's argument, he had never agreed because even though Fai _did _have his striking flaws, he was still a beautiful person in some ways. He _loved _Fai, and couldn't ever think of the man as evil. He hadn't thought that it didn't go both ways.

"If that's the case," he continued, struggling to keep his temper in check. He was not a child, and he would not act like a betrayed little boy whose feelings had been hurt, "If _that's _the case, then _everyone _is wicked, and there is no such thing as goodness in all the worlds! _Is that what you think then?"_

Fai only shrugged, tone painfully nonchalant.

"That's why he wants to destroy the world, right? To rid the world of evil. Since there _is _no goodness in this world."

Almost violently, Kurogane jerked the sheets out to dislodge any dust from it. It floated gently back down to the bed, and the ninja angrily tucked the edges into the sides of the bedframe.

"Since you think the world is so wicked, maybe you should go about trying to destroy the world too," he hissed viciously, and added something that he immediately regretted, "Guess you've already succeeded twice."

Fai immediately whipped around, face contorted into an ugly grimace of fury and _hurt._

"You're wicked yourself," he spat, "Just like me. Just like everyone else. How I would love to see you swimming in a pool of blood. How I would love to see the world a hellish place of blood and unrotting corpses and torn limbs! A sinner's burial ground, yes? We're all sinners and we should _all have been thrown into that pit!"_

Kurogane fell back onto the bed as Fai stalked dangerously towards him, voice rising into a hysterical shriek. His face was shadowed, the light shining from behind him as he all but eclipsed the sun.

"Oh, how I would love to kill all you wicked people, burn you all like a demon and_ see the world go up in flames!" _he ranted, "All you wicked people do is extinguish the light of goodness by killing all the good people off! This is wickedness. This is _wickedness!_"

The ninja grabbed his lover's wrists as Fai fell over him on the bed, eyes narrowed and shining with angry tears that he refused to let fall. Fai tore his wrists from Kurogane's grasp and continued to rain his words and fists down onto him. Kurogane lay there for a moment, shielding his face from Fai's abuse, stunned at the sudden violence and _hatred _in his lover.

"But I can't!" Fai shrieked at him, tears finally falling like shimmering diamonds to earth, "I can't kill you all! I'm wicked too. I'm the wickedest of the wicked. What if I kill off all the good people as well? What if I become just like all the other wicked people who kill off the goodness in this world? How do I know who is good and who is wicked? _How do I know?"_

"Fai—" Kurogane began, but was immediately cut off.

"Who is good and who is evil? Everyone pretends to be oh-so-good, but in actual fact they are all evil on the inside. In actual fact all they all do things for their own selfish gains. Just like _Seishirou! _How do I know who to kill and who to spare? How to I rid the world of wickedness so that there will only be good? Should I start with killing _myself?"_

Kurogane immediately flipped their positions, and pinned his hysterical lover down, teeth bared.

_"Shut up!" _he roared, "That's none of your business! Why does it concern you whether or not the world is good or evil? Just be concerned about _yourself _and _your place in this world! _Why do you have to go about killing yourself just because you think you have flaws? Everyone has flaws so stop being depressed just because you think all this is your fault _again! Yuuko said it wasn't your fault! _Don't be so self-absorbed; the universe does not revolve around you and your '_misfortune'! "_

Fai turned his face away, tears still leaking from his blue, blue eyes, and Kurogane softened regretfully, leaning down to kiss a tear-stained cheek.

"There's not anyone who's not hurt another person, directly or indirectly, intentionally or unintentionally. It's just not possible to not hurt anyone. So why impose this dichotomy between good and evil when there _is _no such thing?"

_"You're wrong."_

Kurogane blinked.

"Prove it," he challenged, "You're much older than me. Have you _ever _met anyone who had never hurt another person, _ever_?"

"Yes," Fai answered immediately, with a confidence and certainty that stunned him, "Fai never did anything to hurt anyone. He never _blamed _anyone for hurting us. He never hurt anyone, no matter what they did to him. He'd only smile and say nothing, and he'd still be kind to everyone even though _no one was ever kind to him. _Fai was _good, _the only goodness in all the worlds. Fai was _perfect. _But in the end, what did he get for all his goodness? For all his kindness? For all his compassion?"

Fai's breath hitched, and the hysterical bitterness began to seep slowly in.

"In the end, he was locked away by all those wicked people," he cried, "Locked away in a place for _sinners, _in a place for the _wicked. _But even in that horrid tower he never minded his own suffering, he was always watching over _me_, always calling out for _me, _always _crying _for _me!"_

Then a look of such guilt and self-hatred warped those delicate features that for a moment, Kurogane thought Fai had been possessed by the devil himself.

"And then what did he get for his goodness this time?" he choked, pushing up against Kurogane's hold on his shoulders, "He was killed, _by his own twin brother, _by his brother who was wicked and _selfish!"_

"I said _stop it! _What's wrong with you? Why are you always blaming everything on _yourself?"_

"Fai was the only goodness in this world!" yelled the blonde, "He was _perfect! _But no one perfect can ever live. No one good can ever survive. The wickedness in this world will kill them all!"

Kurogane lifted Fai up and shook him once, violently by the shoulders.

"_There's no such thing as perfection!" _he bellowed, "There's _no such thing! _So get that damn idea out of your head! No one is perfect. Your _brother _isn't perfect! If he was perfect, why did he leave you all alone to wallow endlessly in your perpetual anger towards yourself and the wicked world? Why did he leave you alone in your unhealthiness and your self-destruction? If he was _perfect, _then _how could he do this to you?"_

A loud smack echoed in the room, followed by a thud as Kurogane fell off the bed to land on the floor. He held the side of his face in shock as he stared up at his fuming lover. A moment later, he held his arms helplessly up as Fai fell upon him, bringing his fists down with a mad fury, a child's tantrum in the body of a man much older and much _stronger_. Magic sizzled dangerously around them, hissing and spluttering along with Fai's rage.

"How dare you. How _dare _you!" he shrieked hysterically, showering blows blindly down onto the man below him as hard as he could, "How _dare _you try to defame him? Will you not give him peace even in death? In life you _torment _him, and in death you _defame _him! Why? _Why? _Is this the payment he gets for being _good?"_

Finally, Kurogane managed to get a foot between them, and kneed Fai in the gut, _hard. _As Fai faltered, gasping, he turned the tables and pinned his lover down by the throat. He snarled down at the hysterical man as Fai gasped and clawed at the hold on his windpipe.

_"Open your eyes and look at who you're talking to!" _he roared, "Don't direct your anger at the world at _me! _I never did anything to your brother! Fuck, I wasn't even _alive _when he was!"

He got to his feet and stormed to the door.

"I've had _enough _of this!" he bellowed angrily back at his lover, still hunched over on the floor, "Come and talk to me when you have a clear idea of who the _fuck _is right in front of you! Don't mix me up with the people you're angry with! Until then, you can wallow alone in your _fucking delusions!_"

The enraged slam of a door left silence in its wake.

* * *

><p>He wandered down after his tears had dried and he had properly made himself presentable, a scarf around his neck to hide the necklace of bruises. The necklace of bruises that fit the shape of Kurogane's fingers. The inn was swathed in an uncomfortable silence, and the main halls were suspiciously empty although he could sense familiar presences hidden in discreet corners of the building, out of the way of any paths. He quietly drifted, checking his hair in the glass of a cabinet of chinaware, and brushing the wetness he had missed from his chin. As he emerged from one of the back doors, he found something he never had before.<p>

A secret little path wound away from the expansive back-garden in all its glory, through a line of bushes that immediately covered it up. Intrigued, he followed the upward-sloping path, pushing the bushes and overhanging branches out of his way, and soon emerged on the slope of a hill. At the top of it, he could see a balustraded gazebo that gleamed like an ivory tusk, minuscule in its distance. Within it, a single tall silhouette stood, looking out over the opposite side, away from him. Curiously, he ascended the slope of the hill, consciously adjusting the scarf about his neck. After a few minutes of walking, he emerged up over the summit of the hill. As he did so, the person sitting on the benches set along the sides turned towards him.

It was Subaru.

"Why don't you sit down?" he said after a pause, looking out over the landscape again, "You seem troubled."

Fai quietly sat opposite of the boy—_man;_ Subaru was no longer a boy. He looked out over the side of the balustrade, over the expanse of the hill-top, and saw a cliff. It dipped sharply down into the fathomless dark shadows of the woods, hidden by its dark green canopy. From here he could see for miles around, and for the first time felt a sense of clarity, removed as he was from the world and its chaos, watching detachedly from above. But then Kurogane's angered face came back to him, and all his worldly troubles returned abruptly to him. He turned towards the direction of the inn, and saw it on the edge of the hill, nestled amongst the rest of the town. On the side of the town opposite of the hill he was in, he saw another hill; he could even see the tall spires of a white castle over its summit. It flew a midnight blue flag with a intricate black insignia that he could not make out through the flapping of the flag in the wind.

"I don't think this hill is part of the actual town," Subaru said suddenly, as neutral as always, "I've never quite been able to see it from the town square, and had always wondered why. Until today. I guess this hill is part of the inn, existing in the _other _space that Yuuko-san was talking about."

He turned to Fai, face expressionless but still conveying a strange sense of sympathy.

"I overheard your argument with your lover," he said, "I never knew you had a twin as well. I'm sorry. Hokuto's death must have brought back bad memories."

Fai shook his head.

"No, don't ever apologize for that," he whispered, "You should be allowed your own pain."

Subaru blinked slowly at him, in a manner startlingly similar to Yuuko.

"You seem to be in great pain," he observed impassively, "It is hard to move on after losing a part of you."

Fai closed his eyes.

"Everyone has their own pain," he murmured quietly, "It is a unique pain that no one else will ever experience in quite the same way. No pain is greater or lesser than another. Pain is simply pain. All pains are great to the person in pain. No person's right to feel their own pain should be taken away, even a person with a superficial scrape next to a person dying from multiple stab-wounds. We cannot ever understand the pain of another, and so we cannot ever undermine or compare the pain of two separate beings. To the person with the scrape, his pain is as great and as real as the pain of the person dying of the stab-wounds."

Green eyes widened, and for a moment Subaru watched him with a strange surprise. Finally, his face softened into a subdued smile.

"We are similar in many ways," he said finally, "Seishirou-san was after my grandmother's property. She owned an inn as well, you know? Hokuto and I came here to work so that we could gain some experience and bring it back to Obaa-san's business. She was against it, but we went against her wishes. Seishirou-san had stolen my key and had gone to steal the deed from Obaa-san. I had a bad feeling that night, and went to check on Obaa-san. I told Hokuto to stay in the inn because it wasn't safe for a girl to be wandering around after dark. I walked in on Seishirou-san attacking my grandmother. She was holding her own with her own magic, so he fired at me."

He smiled sadly.

"I was too stunned to move," he continued, "I would have died. But Hokuto had followed me secretly from the inn, and had taken the hit for me since she had no offensive magic of her own; she died immediately. Obaa-san overtaxed herself getting us out of them, and fell into a coma. I thought she had been killed as well, because she didn't arrive at the inn with us. Later, we found out that she hadn't had enough strength left to transport herself to the inn, so she'd fallen short along the way."

He turned away, looking out over the cliff's edge again.

"Seishirou-san did many wicked things," he conceded finally, "But I believe there is goodness within him, and it is that goodness that I had fallen in love with, not the wickedness. I don't know if that goodness was a farce."

There was a long moment of silence, as Fai watched Subaru's profile. Finally, Subaru spoke again.

"My grandmother woke up from her coma this morning," he said, "She's crippled for life now, but at least she is alive."

He faced Fai again, eyes sorrowful.

"Cherish the people you love, Fai-san," he murmured, and stood to leave. He paused at the edge of the gazebo, "I'm going to go see my grandmother now."

As the quiet rustle of grass under light feet faded away, Fai looked out over the forest once more, and closed his eyes.

* * *

><p>"Oi, kid."<p>

Syaoran turned around from where he stood at the sink, opening his mouth to return the greeting.

"Your face!" he blurted, as he caught sight of the bruise swelling up on his mentor's cheek, "Did Fai-san do that to you?"

Kurogane groaned and settled himself heavily onto the stool at the kitchen table.

"You heard us?"

Syaoran immediately went for that cold box at the corner of the kitchen. He'd come across similar things in the more advanced worlds called refrigerators, but those where run by electricity whereas this box (in fact, it was probably just a chest with runes inscribed on it) was chilled through magic.

"I think the whole inn heard the argument," he admitted somewhat sheepishly, "The others are kinda hiding in various corners of the inn and the garden right now."

He peeked out of the door and through a window at the late afternoon sun.

"I think they'll all by back before the sun goes down though."

Kurogane sighed.

"Damnit all," he grumbled, and Syaoran turned around with a pack of ice in his hand, just in time to see him pulling his shirt off, "Ugh, I haven't felt this beat up in _years."_

Syaoran cringed at the sight of the yellowish bruises blooming all over the ninja's body. Tomorrow, they'd be full-fledged ugly blotches of purple, blue, and green. Kurogane looked down at himself and cursed again.

"That bastard is fucking _strong!"_

Clearing his throat awkwardly, Syaoran passed the ice-pack to him, and returned to the sink to finish the rest of the dishes.

"Eto… I guess when two people are in a relationship then there are bound to be differences in opinions, and there are bound to be arguments," he cleared his throat again, "Everyone has flaws, and the closer you get, the more you see them. Like flaws in a diamond, the jeweler needs a magnifying glass to see it, right? But then the more he looks at the diamond, and the closer he gets, the more flaws he sees."

He peeked behind him and quickly turned back to the dishes at the baffled expression on Kurogane's face.

"But I…" he tries to keep the misery out of his tone, and fails miserably, "But I guess I… I can't really offer much advice because… because I don't see Sakura very often nowadays."

Kurogane winces as the kid trails off into a sad silence.

"We'll get those two brats back," he consoles gruffly, "And when we do, you can see the princess every damned day until you get sick of her face. Though I don't think that damn bloody likely, or I'll punch your face in for breaking her heart. Cheer up, kid. Look ahead and never look back."

He felt a little burst of pride as Syaoran turned around with gratitude and determination in his eyes.

"Hai, Kurogane-san."

Kurogane stood, pressing the ice to his swollen cheek as he folded his shirt over his arm.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go find that idiot and beat some sense into that empty head of his."

The first place he went was, of course, their room. He only felt a mild surprise at Fai's absence. He highly doubted Fai would have liked to stay in their room after an argument like that. But fifteen minutes of searching later, he was growing frantic. As he stopped on the first floor of the inn, ducking briefly into the laundry room, several of the staff came trailing in from the garden at the back of the inn.

"Ooo," Kusanagi cringed sympathetically as he caught sight of the bruises on Kurogane's torso, "Nasty."

"Have you seen Fai?" he asked without ceremony, and Kamui sighed.

"Looking for him _again? _Isn't he somewhere in the inn? I doubt he'd leave the inn after what Yuuko-san said this morning. He wasn't in the gardens."

"He's not in the inn," Kurogane growled, "I've checked every damned room in this building."

A tiny door a little out of the way, also leading to the back garden, creaked slowly open. Subaru ducked under the doorway, impassive as usual.

"I know where he is."

* * *

><p>His lover's fair hair was a dead giveaway in the light of the setting sun, blazing a fiery gold from where he stood in the shelter of the gazebo.<p>

"Oi, mage!" he yelled, "So this is where you went off to! I was searching high and low for you!"

Fai stepped slowly forward, off the gazebo, heading away from them.

"Fai-san?" Subaru called, "Careful! There's no railing around the cliff's edge!"

Fai only took another slow step forward, and Kurogane felt a strange foreboding as he broke into a sprint.

"You fucking _idiot!" _he roared, "Don't you _dare _succumb to that bastards calling _again!"_

At his words, the staff behind him broke into a run, sprinting up the hill after him.

"Fai-san!" Syaoran bellowed, "Snap out of it!"

Ahead of them, Fai took another slow step forward, and the glare of the sun swallowed his slight form up like flames licking hungrily at flesh. Kurogane darted up the summit, and swung himself over the balustrade of the gazebo, sprinting straight for his lover. Syaoran followed closely behind him, and the rest sprinted over the gazebo right after them. They stopped at the edge of gazebo, watching carefully as Kurogane grabbed Fai by the arm, and attempted to talk sense into him in low, harsh tones. Fai stared blankly at him for a moment, and Kurogane pulled him into an embrace. Syaoran relaxed as Fai leant absently into the embrace.

All of a sudden, without even a change of expression, Kurogane doubled over as Fai socked him hard in the gut, and turned back towards the cliff-edge. Almost in slow motion, Kazahaya screamed something incoherent and bolted forward, past Kurogane's fallen form as Syaoran stood, riveted in shock. As he grabbed a hold of Fai's elbow, he gasped, eyes widening.

He crumpled to the floor, unconscious.

"Kudou-kun!" Yukito called, springing over the railing of the gazebo. Rikuo made it there first, pulling Kazahaya up off the floor.

"He's having a vision," he yelled, "Get Fai!"

Kurogane stood but faltered. Slowly, he held his hands up placatingly.

Fai stood on the very edge of the cliff, watching them blankly.

"Listen to me," Kurogane pleaded, "Come over here. Come to me_."_

Fai watched them for a moment longer as the sun set slowly behind him, illuminating him from behind so that he looked like a sun god descending from the heavens, impassive and composed and oh-so-beautiful, like the sun itself, like he was being consumed by flames, _like a man burning alive._

"Fai is waiting," he murmured woodenly, "He misses me. He loves me."

"Then what about us?" Kurogane argued desperately, "How about _me?_ I'm right _here. _Where the hell are _you_ going?"

Fai took a step backwards, and in unison, everybody started forward.

_"Don't move!" _Kurogane roared at them, "Don't you_ dare _move a _fucking muscle!"_

He turned back to Fai, and took a small step forward, face pleading and hands up unthreateningly.

"Fai—"

"Fai is dead," the blonde interrupted with a dulled, wrathful bitterness, "You killed him. All of you. All of you wicked people."

Behind him, the sun set—an ominous sign. The sign of a light extinguished, of something coming to an end.

"Like a heavy blanket," Fai murmured indifferently, "The wicked shall smother the good. The dark shall stifle the light, extinguishing it."

The sun dipped below the horizon, and darkness fell. Fai took that last, fatal step. Over the edge, that well-loved figure fell, disappearing over the dark precipice. Down, down, down.

_"NO!"_

A flicker of flame that unfurled like parchment unrolling. And like the sun rising again, a great phoenix of white flames flew up, into the sky. Glowing runes swirled around the remains of a pale leg, and a long blonde ponytail. A moment later, a long flaming tail like a peacock's unfurled from the body of the phoenix, trailing white flames in its wake as it flew up. Up, up, up, into the sky, lighting the night like the sun risen again. And as it reached its zenith, just like the sun that set after midday, the white phoenix turned and plunged down into the woods below, not screaming, but _singing_—singing a song of love, and an age-long yearning.

The pure white flames disappeared into the trees. Darkness fell.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: OMG. I ACTUALLY FINISHED THE CHAPTER IN A WEEK. I'M SO PROUD OF MYSELF. I'M LIKE GRINNING LIKE AN IDIOT And... I HAVE FANART. Okay no. I don't. It was drawn by myself. Wayyyy before this chapter. It's an inaccurate illustration of that last scene where Fai transforms into a phoenix. Inaccurate because the flames are yellow in the picture, and because he seems to be lifting off the ground instead of flying from behind a cliff. Here's a link to the picture (which I have posted up on my dA): pseudo-brush. deviantart (dotcom)/ gallery/#/ d55gjy8. Yeah. You know the drill. Remove the spaces.**

**And I would really like to shout out to my reviewers, especially all of you who have been faithfully reviewing. It's because of you guys that I've been able to get this far, and muster the inspiration to write a chapter in a time like this. The analogy of the effect weight has on the fabric of reality and the whole concept of why Fai should never go into the woods was actually inspired by the theory of relativity. Physics students, don't murder me if I butchered your theory. I have never taken physics. I was always a chemistry/ biology student. This is FICTION guys, FICTION.**

**And yes, poor Kuro. He was beaten to a pulp by Fai in their room (sigh, OOC!Fai much?) and then socked in the gut by Fai on the hilltop again. Poor abused Kuro. But its his fault for sticking with his abusive lover. Because I've had enough of Fai being abused by abusive lovers. Why is KUROGANE never abused by abusive lovers? Better yet, why is he never abused by abusive-lover!Fai? It's either Fai with unnamed abusive lover, abusive-lover!Ashura, and occasionally even abusive-lover!Kuro. Let's have some abusive-lover!Fai here!**

**Anyway, thanks for all the song recs! For this chapter, I actually listened to Ensei by Yuki Kaijiura. I'm sure you all know who Yuki Kaijiura is. She is the GODDESS who did the TRC soundtrack. And when Subaru tells Fai that they are similar in many ways, that's a little reference to Tokyo Babylon there. One of Subaru's philosophies is that no one can ever understand the pain of another. ("I can never understand your pain.") He's referring to Fai's philosophy there, as well as the fact that they both have a twin, as well as the fact that they both had twins that died for them.**

**Now off to complete those graded assignments I really need to be doing, and to study for those two tests coming up next week.  
><strong>

**Reviews are much appreciated!**


	12. Fireflies

**Summary: There is hesitance amongst friends. Kamui deals with internal conflict, Syaoran talks to someone sorely missed, and the chapter ends off on a hopeful note.**

**Warnings:** **Kurofai, established relationship. This is post-series so spoilers for the end. There will also be spoilers for Fai's past later. Hinted TouyaYuki, Douwata, and other CLAMP pairings. Swearing, innuendo, a bit of violence later on perhaps? I'm not sure if the rating will go up in later chapters. We will see.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

* * *

><p>"So what are we going to do now?"<p>

The timid question was loud in the grim silence. Syaoran bit his lip and wrung his hands together, peeking up around the room and waiting for an answer—_any _answer to the question. Around him, the faces of those gathered were silent and grave, each staring down at the floor in front of them. Across the room, he saw Yukito quietly reach for Touya's hand, and averted his eyes. They fell on Kurogane, standing in a corner with his arms folded across his chest and his chin held defiantly high. But there was a slight concavity to his posture, a hunching of his shoulders as if he were caving in protectively on himself. His blood eyes were faraway, glazed. Under them were large, dark shadows like bruises. Syaoran could see the _real _bruises from the wide neck of his shirt, down his forearms, swollen on his cheek; trophies from a missing man.

He looked like hell.

The click of Yuuko's manicured fingernails against the tabletop brought his attention sharply back towards her. She sat, as usual, at the head of the table. Mokona sat on her lap, quiet for once as she peered concernedly around the room. Syaoran realized that he hadn't seen her at all yesterday. Had she been with Yuuko? How careless of him to have simply forgotten all about her. Yuuko cleared her throat, and he redirected his attention to her once again.

"This world will collapse," she told them simply, "If we do not get Fai back."

"Then we'll get him back!" Yuzuriha cried bravely, stepping forward, "We'll go in there and get him out!"

Across the room, Touya frowned, fingers tightening around Yukito's.

"No one has ever come out of there alive."

At the table, Watanuki leaned forward, twining his fingers together in front of him.

"If we don't go, _no one_ will get out of this alive," he murmured.

Syaoran's eyes flicked towards his other, then back to Yuuko. She watched the proceedings without even a flicker of emotion in her eyes. A movement caught his eye. Kamui shifted in his quiet corner beside a silent Subaru, wrapping his arms around himself in a gesture strangely defensive.

"Maybe that's for the best," he said bitterly, "Maybe he was right that everyone is wicked in a certain way. Maybe it's best if everyone died after all."

Everyone shifted uncomfortably at the reference to the massive row they had heard the day before. Kurogane looked haunted by those words.

"But that isn't right," Syaoran found himself saying in a tiny voice, "We should be helping everyone get better then. Instead of giving them all up and letting them die."

Kamui shrugged with a bitter smile.

"Why not?" he asked, "Then the world can start anew. Without wicked people hurting one another and killing the good people."

He pushed off the wall and strode across the room, pausing at the door.

"I'm not interested in the fate of the world," he told them frankly, "I don't want anything to do with it."

He turned and left the room. A moment later, a dull click and the tinkling of a bell alerted them to his leaving. Syaoran looked around the room, those faces hesitant now. But he could understand. No one had ever returned from the woods, and he knew what it was like to have someone you cared about, someone you wanted to protect above all else. Syaoran's attention was drawn back to the issue at hand by a loud sigh. Kurogane stepped forward, chin up and eyes determined.

"It doesn't matter to me if no one will go," he said, "I will go by myself to get that idiot back."

He shoved his hands in his pockets, and left as well. The bell over the front door tinkled once more, before the door clicked shut. The room was silent.

* * *

><p>A light breeze blew through the town square. Closing his eyes, Kamui tilted his face up to the wind with a tired sigh. The bustle of the festival had died down, and all that was left were the empty stalls, stripped bare of all its furnishings. In all the chaos, he had forgotten. Yesterday had been Midsummer's Day. But though he had missed the annual bonfire, they had had a little bonfire of their on atop that hill. Without the tablecloths, without the elaborate signs declaring its wares, without the hawkers screaming and shouting, the naked wooden shells stood solemnly around the town square, staring at him as he passed through. There was, of course, the occasional passer-by, and the occasional vendor packing up to leave, but Kamui felt strangely alone. Faceless strangers they all were, a blurred background to his musings.<p>

"Kamui-kun!"

But _that _voice he definitely recognized. With a sigh, he turned around.

"What?"

Sorata grinned sunnily at him.

"Moody again?" he teased, "No surprise."

Kamui turned and walked away. He was in no mood to deal with that man and his nonsense. To his frustration, Sorata trotted after him.

"Is something wrong?" he asked, concern seeping into his voice, "You seem moodier than usual. If that's even possible."

Kamui picked up his pace, gritting his teeth when Sorata only sped up to keep up with him.

"There _is _something wrong, isn't there?" Sorata continued obliviously.

"There's _nothing _wrong," Kamui seethed, "So go away and just leave me—_"_

With a surprised _oof! _Kamui found himself colliding with someone else. Soft and curvy; it was a woman. He glared up at the (taller) woman, opening his mouth to say something scathing. Arashi blinked down at him, stoic, and he found himself deflating. It was hard to get angry with a face like that.

"Honey!"

Impassivity gave way to a brief annoyance as Arashi smacked her husband away with a baguette. She was carrying a basket of groceries, and now that he thought about it, Sorata was carrying a similar basket as well. It was probably their shopping day.

"Is everything alright?" she asked quietly, "You seem troubled."

Kamui shrugged and averted his gaze.

"It's nothing."

"C'mon Kamui-kun!" Sorata cried, slinging an arm around his shoulders, "You can tell us!"

Feeling his head beginning to throb, Kamui shoved the older man away with a scowl.

"The world is ending. Not that that's too big a loss considering the sort of _idiots _it will be bringing down with it."

Sorata laughed.

"No need for sarcasm," he said with a wink before launching himself at his wife again with eyes that _sparkled, _"But no matter the idiots in the world, I'd still save it for my beautiful Arashi-saaaaan~!"

Arashi batted him away with the baguette, and Sorata feigned hurt as he clutched at his 'injured' head. Arashi smacked him again. Kamui turned away exasperatedly just in time to see Yuzuriha running towards him from the inn. Inuki loped along behind her.

"Kamui-san!"

He fought with himself for a moment. Walk away, and possibly hurt Yuzuriha's feelings, or stay, and go through whatever she wanted to say to him? Before he could make his decision, as if reading his mind, Yuzuriha sprinted the last few meters and latched onto his arm.

"Wait!"

Kamui exhaled, but did not resist. Yuzuriha cautiously let go of him, as if she were expecting him to bolt at any moment; Kamui did not blame her. When he did not run away, Yuzuriha straightened up and smiled at him.

"I'm not going to say anything," she said cheerfully, "I just want to walk with you."

Kamui blinked, then smiled gently at her. Beaming, Yuzuriha grabbed onto his arm again, leading him towards a nearby stretch of trees. Behind them, Sorata and Arashi continued to squabble (rather one-sidedly), but their voices faded away as they were enveloped in the quiet of the park. Yuzuriha had a silent, contented smile on her face as she tilted her face to the sunlight filtering through the leaves onto them. Sparrows chittered through the bushes, and above them, a hummingbird buzzed around the flowers. Inuki gave a contented little growl deep in his chest.

"The world is so beautiful," she breathed quietly, "Don't you think so, Kamui-san?"

Kamui did not reply. Yuzuriha suddenly frowned up at the trees, that were strangely silent apart from the occasional chirps.

"Except that the kotori are quiet today," she noted innocently, before turning to smile at him, "Perhaps they are sad because Kamui-san is sad. Cheer up, Kamui-san!"

At her words, Kamui felt as if the pit of his stomach had dropped through the cobblestones. Abruptly realizing her mistake, Yuzuriha gasped, slapping a hand over her mouth.

"I'm sorry, Kamui-san!" she apologized, "I forgot!"

Kamui looked up into the leaves of the tree above them. The sun was warm on his face. But Yuzuriha was right, the birds in the tree didn't sing as usual. The silence dragged on for a long while, interrupted only by the chirping of the sparrows, the humming of the cicadas, and Inuki running off after a squirrel, before Kamui finally spoke.

"I think…" he murmured quietly, and Yuzuriha perked up, "That I may have been like Sorata-san. Once upon a time."

Yuzuriha tugged at the hem of her shirt, looking troubled.

"Why not now?"

Kamui watched Inuki pawing at the base of a tree, barking happily before he trotted back to them, looking vaguely contented.

"Kotori is dead, Fuuma is gone, I have no family, and Subaru's pretty much lost the will to live," he said bluntly, "Who do I have to protect? I just don't want to get involved in all this end of the world nonsense."

Yuzuriha bent down to scratch Inuki behind the ears, bangs swinging down over her face as she bent down to bury her face in the ruff of the canine's grey fur. A moment later, she straightened again, and looked up at Kamui with sorrowful eyes.

"When I found Inuki, he was all skin and bones. A bunch of kids were kicking him around and throwing stones at him," she told him suddenly, and kissed Inuki on the nose before smiling sadly, "Its true that humans can do the wickedest of things. But does that mean all of humanity should be wiped out? Remember how sad you were when Kotori-chan went away. That's the way that everyone would feel, because every person who will die when the world ends is someone's mother, father, daughter, son, brother, sister, lover, or friend."

She stood up, and Inuki nuzzled into her thigh before trotting off to run happily through a flock of pigeons nearby, barking and making a general ruckus.

"That's why no one should ever kill, or be killed by anyone. Even though all people die, and even though all people are wicked inside," she continued, "Because no matter who that person is, someone will be sad."

Subaru's anguished face as he clutched at Hokuto's bloodied body flashed abruptly into his mind; the dim light of the candles, and the blood that had pooled over the floor were still a vivid memory. He shook his head once to get rid of the clinging image.

"I have no one to feel sad for," he said fiercely, "And I can't be bothered how sad _other _people are. I don't even know them."

"Fuuma may not be around anymore, but he's out there somewhere! He's still alive!"

Kamui shrugged apathetically.

"Fuuma isn't Fuuma anymore," he murmured bitterly, "What's the point?"

Yuzuriha frowned disapprovingly, folding her arms across her chest. Despite himself, Kamui found himself smiling with a sort of sorrowful affection. Yuzuriha was not placated by the smile.

"So you're just gonna give up?" she asked chidingly, "You're just gonna take it for granted that the old Fuuma is never coming back?"

She took a step forward and prodded her finger hard into Kamui's chest, glaring up at him.

"The Kamui-san I know is brave and strong!" she chided, "He wouldn't ever give up!"

She spun on her heel, and ran off. With a startled yelp, Inuki abandoned the acorn he had been chewing on, and ran after her. Kamui stood there for a moment, watching Yuzuriha's retreating back in shock. To his left, the pigeons that Inuki had been frightening settled back over a bench, cooing indignantly. Sparrows chased each other over the cobblestone, pecking at crumbs on the floor that had probably been left behind during the festival.

_You're just gonna take for granted that the old Fuuma is never coming back?_

But he _had. _He had taken that for granted. It hadn't even occurred to him that it was possible the old Fuuma _could _come back. And so he had never bothered to go after his childhood friend, instead mourning him as if he was dead and gone. But Fuuma _could _come back. couldn't he? Kamui just had to drag him back, and _make _him come back. It would be hard and it would possibly break his heart even more than it already was, but if he could bring the old Fuuma back, it would be all worth it, right?

But first….

But first, he had to protect Fuuma, he had to make sure that Fuuma wouldn't die along with the rest of the world.

A little bird fluttered out of the tree, chittering melodiously, and settled on a branch. Kamui watched it for a moment, and a while later another joined it on the branch, trilling harmoniously. _For Kotori, _he thought, and the first bird returned a warbling tune. _Get Fai first, _he thought numbly. _Then I will go. I will go and get Fuuma back._

Above him, the kotori burst into song.

* * *

><p>Against the mantle, grey and black crawled in a projected disk.<p>

"Still nothing?" Syaoran asked over the static, and Mokona shook her head.

"Mokona is trying and trying," she chirped frustratedly, "But Mokona can't get through!"

Syaoran sighed, and pulled a chair out from the dining table, taking a seat. On the dining table, Mokona let out a strained '_puu!'._

"It's alright, Moko-chan," Syaoran sighed, "You can stop now."

Mokona shook her head vehemently.

"We have to get through to Watanuki!" she cried, "We have to! For Fai! And for Kurogane!"

Syaoran winced at the reminder of his mentor. He had looked truly terrible that morning, strangely pale with dark shadows under his eyes, covered in horrifying purple and green bruises. And so here he was, vainly trying to contact his other half, though for what reasons he did not know. He sighed as Mokona clenched her little paws tight in effort, still failing to get through to the shopkeeper.

"Mokona, it's alright," he said again, "Don't overexert yourself."

"Just one last try," Mokona pleaded, "One last try!"

Syaoran couldn't help but feel bad for the little creature, as big fat tears began to squeeze out through her tightly closed lids.

_"Syaoran-kun? Moko—'"_

His eyes widened as Watanuki's voice warbled through the static. Mokona perked up.

"We did it!"

Watanuki's face flickered on for a moment, before being overridden by the static once more.

_"Syaoran, you need to—power too strong—can't—Fai-san is—the woods—"_

"Fai-san has been taken!" Syaoran cried urgently, "We have to get him back!"

_"The woods—too much magic—the person is—"_

As Watanuki's voice faded into static, Mokona hopped forward.

"We need more help! We can't face the woods alone! Can you help us?"

"What's the price?" Syaoran asked desperately as Watanuki's face appeared once more.

_"There's—takes up my power—keep this connection—pass limit of interference—have to go—I'm sorry."_

The connection fizzled out into static once more, and Mokona looked like she was about to cry in despair. Syaoran automatically reached out to comfort her, but froze as an _achingly _familiar voice came over the connection.

_"Moko-chan?"_

The projection fizzled once, twice, and a crawling image of Sakura appeared.

"Syaoran!" she cried, "Moko-chan!"

"Sakura!" Mokona choked.

Again, her image jerked, but did not vanish. Her voice was unclear, but audible.

"What's happening?" she asked urgently, green eyes panicked, "Yukito-san felt a terrible disturbance, and I dreamt of you. Has something happened?"

"Fai-san has—" Syaoran began chokingly, staggering forward as if he could _touch _her through the projection. From her side, Sakura reached out a hand towards him, as if she thought the same, "But how did you manage to reach us? We haven't been able to—someone's been interfering. He has Fai-san."

_"Fai-san is missing?" _Sakura asked, distraught, "And I—everyone at the palace is helping to get through. Someone is interfering in Mokona's communications? I was wondering why it was so hard to get through that everyone had to combine their magic. But why is he so strong?"

The door creaked open, and Kamui slipped in. His eyes widened as he caught sight of Sakura's tear-filled eyes on the projection, and Syaoran's expression.

"Am I… interrupting something?"

He hissed angrily as the door opened again, shoving him to the side.

"Watch it, bastard!"

Kurogane peeked around the door, and scowled at him.

"Then don't stand in front of the fucking door!"

"Look who's talking," someone retorted from behind the hulking warrior, and Kurogane sheepishly moved into the room, out of the way.

"Kurogane-san!" Sakura cried, clapping both hands over her mouth in horror, "Your face! What happened to you?"

Kurogane absently rubbed at the bruise on his face, wincing.

"That idiot's handiwork," he grumbled, sitting down at the dining table and looking to Syaoran, "I thought we were being blocked from communicating with people outside of this world?"

Before Syaoran could reply, Sakura straightened up abruptly, green eyes wide.

"Onii-san?"

Touya blinked confusedly from the doorway. A moment later, Yukito poked his head in.

"Who? Me?" Touya asked, "Who's this?"

Yuuko glided in through the doorway, and sat herself at the head of the table.

"Yuuko-san!"

The innkeeper smiled at the princess as Touya shoved his hands into his pockets disgruntledly.

"It seems we're going after all," he grumbled, "Since Yuki insists on helping out."

Yukito smiled serenely, throwing a sharp glance at his lover.

"It's our duty as hosts to get Fai back," he chirped happily.

Kakei came through the door with his bartender lover, and behind him, the rest of the staff gradually filed in.

"Are we having a meeting?" Watanuki asked suspiciously.

"Not that I know of," Kakei answered cheerfully, sitting on Yuuko's left.

"Yoohoo~!" Sorata cried, one arm around an annoyed Arashi, "I'm going to protect my honey!"

He turned to Kamui.

"Kamui-chan," he complained, "You made it sound like a joke!"

Yuzuriha peeked out from behind Sorata with a wink.

"I want to go as well!"

"I'm going," Doumeki deadpanned from behind Watanuki, "This useless guy can't take care of himself."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

Kakei cleared his throat, and everyone turned to him.

"Yuuko and I will not be going. Kazahaya-kun has not yet awoken, so Rikuo-kun will not be joining you either," when no one argued with him, he continued, "Other than that, I assume everyone is going?"

Around them, the staff-members nodded. Kamui cleared his throat somewhat awkwardly, and everyone turned to him.

"I'm going too," he mumbled quietly, "But after this I have to leave for awhile. I'll be back, and I swear I'll be dragging that bastard Fuuma with me."

Yuzuriha beamed proudly at him, and Kamui smiled back at her. But Syaoran's attention was on the silent man gazing out, over the town; Subaru had yet to speak a single word all day.

"Subaru-san," he started timidly, and Subaru turned to fix him with an impassive stare, "You—you don't have to go if you don't want to…"

Subaru blinked at him for a moment, and Syaoran felt like crawling into a dark, dark hole somewhere.

"I never said I wasn't going," he finally said, lips lifting up by a minuscule fraction into a shadow of a smile.

Yuuko stood slowly, tall and regal.

"Now that that's settled," she announced, "Although Kakei and I will be unable to join you to save Fai, we will maintain contact with Mokona. And the price for this…"

Syaoran held his breath as Kurogane growled behind him.

"The power needed to maintain the projection must be supplied by Sakura."

Sakura blinked, face crawling with black and grey as she looked up.

"Neither Watanuki and I can exceed a certain level of interference," Yuuko explained, addressing the princess directly, "So it's all up to you now."

Sakura nodded determinedly.

"Hai."

A small sob issued from the small creature on the dining table.

"Thank you," Mokona choked, "Thank you, everybody, for helping us."

Syaoran stood, and bowed once.

"Thank you from all of us," he said solemnly, before sitting down once more.

Kurogane cleared his throat.

"Speak for yourself, brat," he grumbled quietly, "I don't give a damn."

Yuuko only gave him an enigmatic smile.

The door creaked open once more, and a familiar face peeked in, holding a lit candle in one hand.

"Am I interrupting anything important?" Chunyan asked, and when Yukito shook his head, she slipped in and stood tall, "I'm going too!"

"Going?" Kamui asked blankly, "Going where?"

"To save the world of course!" she declared, putting the candle down onto the table and planting her hands on her hips, "Into the woods!"

Sorata grinned at the bunch of them.

"Honey and I thought that you'd need some backup," he explained, "So we asked a couple of people if they were interested."

Shougo stepped in with a candle in hand, that green haired singer from Hanshin, Primera, clutching to his arm.

"Yo," he said shortly, "I'm joining you guys as well."

"Look!" Kamui gasped, leaning over Subaru to press his face against the window.

Syaoran stood as the door swung open once again.

"Konbanwa!" Kobato greeted, one hand clutching at the sleeve of a spectacled brunette. Oruha waved over her shoulder, and Nokoru stepped around her. They each added a candle to the dining table before shrugging off their cloaks.

Syaoran strode over to the window, taking Mokona (and Sakura's image) with him. Those gathered around it, ooh-ing- and ahh-ing, made way for him.

"Look, Syaoran-kun!" Yuzuriha gasped, "Look!"

Kurogane leaned over him and peered out of the window.

Outside, amidst the darkness, little flames were sparking within the darkened windows. Here and there, candles were coming alight, bobbing out of each cottage like lone fireflies scattered across the town. The disembodied lights began to move slowly towards the inn even as more lit up within the cottages and emerged onto the dark streets.

"They're coming here," Sakura gasped in realization, "They're all coming here!"

Kurogane _tched_ behind them.

"Where there is evil, there is good," Yuuko murmured quietly, as the door opened once more, "Such is the duality of human nature."

"Chii wants to help too," breathed a little blonde thing from the doorway, and the brunette by her side smiled.

A small stream of lights like a line of fireflies were floating through the streets towards them. On his palm, Mokona shuddered and sniffled quietly.

"Then this must be what goodness is," she whispered tearfully. Syaoran nodded.

_This must be what goodness is, _he thought.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Sigh. I felt tat this chapter was a little forced. Thus the shortness there. Anyway, here's this week's update! I'm sorry I didn't manage to update last week, but things are really picking up on my end. I feel as if I have perpetual deadlines looming ahead of me. I actually have two tests and an exhibition to prepare for this time around *faints*. Well. Writing is sort of a stress-reliever for me. It's something I genuinely enjoy doing, so I'm glad I have these WIPs to complete even though they can take up so much of my time sometimes. And regarding Kotori...**

**SPOILERS!**

**Kotori is from X1999! And there are lots of X and TB references in this fic as many of you would have noticed. Kotori did not appear in TRC, like Hokuto. Kotori is actually Fuuma's sister, who is a dreamseer. In X, when Kamui was asked to choose a side regarding the End of the World, he didn't want anything to do with it originally. Later, he chose the side that fought against the elimination of humanity because he wanted to protect the two most important to him; Fuuma and Kotori. Then of course, Fuuma was destined to be his opposite star, and because of that, when he chose his side, Fuuma automatically fell into the opposing team. (Here is me simplifying X, haha) But Fuuma went a little crazy, and seemed to change completely into someone not like his old self. He killed Kotori (his sister) and from then on began to try destroying the world. And of course, Kamui is left heartbroken from Fuuma's personality change and Kotori's death. I don't particularly want to explore how Kotori died in this verse, so no backstory! (I want to leave off with a hopeful note, so no X!Fuuma who abuses Kamui and kills his sister).**

**END SPOILERS!**

**And yeah, I realized that Mokona has been pretty much absent for the last two chapters or so, so she makes a sudden reappearance here again. Oh, and Shougo and Sorata and Arashi and Chunyan and who-not are all townsfolk. In fact, Yuzuriha is not from the inn either, (neither is Kobato) she just constantly drops in to check on them following Hokuto's death. Although Yuuko tries to herd all the magic-users into a space away from the woods, some people turn her down because they have other professions that they aren't willing to abandon.**

**Anyway, thanks for the support, all of you (I need to get around to replying reviews). Please do review!**


	13. Witchhunt

**Summary: Sakura brings gifts and payments. The villagers set off into the woods and see terrible things.**

**Warnings:** **Kurofai, established relationship. This is post-series so spoilers for the end. There will also be spoilers for Fai's past later. Hinted TouyaYuki, Douwata, and other CLAMP pairings. Swearing, innuendo, a bit of violence later on perhaps? I'm not sure if the rating will go up in later chapters. We will see.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

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><p>"You guys sure about this?"<p>

Silence met him from the citizens assembled. The crackle from the lit torches in the early morning was a vengeful sound, along with the solemn gleam of pitchforks and the _shhhhk shhhhk _of metal on whetstone. From where he sat in the grass, Kamui rolled his eyes.

"Would we all be here polishing our weapons if we weren't bloody sure?"

Quiet chuckles went around at that, and from Mokona's wavering projection, Sakura giggled. She slapped her hands over her mouth with a small 'oh', and grinned sheepishly at Syaoran. The boy grinned back at her, rubbing the back of his head.

"Just making sure."

With a _twang! _an arrow embedded itself in a tree a short distance away. Kurogane turned to see the shopkeeper's archer slinging his bow over one shoulder, trudging forward to retrieve the arrow. Behind him, Watanuki glared at his retreating back.

"Stupid, arrogant jerk," he grumbled under his breath, "Thinks he's so cool."

Doumeki wrenched the arrow from the bark, and turned around impassively.

"I'm hungry," he deadpanned, "Why didn't you bring breakfast out here?"

Kurogane turned away as the shopkeeper's lookalike began his characteristic flailing; sometimes he got the feeling that Doumeki did it just to get that reaction from the youth. With a sigh, he spotted that Kobato girl sitting down in the grass nearby, learning how to sharpen a blade from her brown-haired companion. She yelped as she almost skinned her fingers, squinting in the dimness; the sun had yet to rise. Not to be ungrateful or anything like that, but Kurogane honestly didn't see the reason why some of them wanted to come along. The manjuu and the kid might have been all touched and enthusiastic about the 'community spirit!' of it all, but Kurogane was a practical guy.

"Kurogane-san?"

The princess' shy voice made him turn, just in time to receive a warm ball of fur to the face.

"Kuro-puu~!"

With a snarl, he tore the damn manjuu off his face, tossing her away from him. She flew through the air as a white streak, her delighted _whee~! _only infuriating him further. Mokona bounced once off the grass, and landed in Kobato's lap, giggling as she emitted a surprised 'oh!'. Sakura turned back to Kurogane, fond smile quickly replaced by concern.

"Are you alright, Kurogane-san?" she asked kindly, "You seem…. deep in thought."

Kurogane shrugged. He didn't exactly want to infect her with his practical cynicism. The way she looked upon the world with such a child-like wonderment had always been a refreshing break from everything. _This _princess…. she reminded him a lot of the one who had travelled with them before she had changed in Tokyo. Remembering that dark period after the bloodiness of that wretched place always brought bad memories, so Kurogane tore himself away from those depressing thoughts of the past, and focused on the present. Focused on the hilt of his sword in his hand, the grass under his bare feet, the worried face of the princess flickering in front of him.

"I'm fine."

Sakura averted her eyes to her lap for a moment, tangling her fingers nervously into her skirt and then smoothing the crumpled fabric out again. She eventually looked back up at him.

"Does it still hurt?" she asked, hesitantly indicating her own face. Kurogane brought a hand up to his own cheek. It throbbed dully when he pressed down on his cheekbone.

"Not really," he answered, shrugging, "Does it look that bad?"

He had been a little too preoccupied that morning to check on his appearance, but now he was starting to regret it from the worry in the princess' green eyes. Sakura shook her head vehemently.

"It's yellowing already," she informed him, "I think it'll be gone in two days or so."

She winked at him cheekily.

"I think you'd have grown a beard by then as well," she teased with a giggle, "You have stubble."

Kurogane rubbed a palm over his jaw and realized that _indeed, _he _did _have stubble. He'd forgotten to shave over the past few days. Kurogane mentally chided himself for being so out of it that he hadn't been taking care of himself. He doubted Fai would appreciate coming back to a caveman of a lover. Abruptly, he remembered his own father, and the haggard stubble he'd sometimes develop when his mother was in a particularly bad state; she'd been sick long before that faithful day when Suwa had fallen. Did he look like that now? He rubbed over his chin, frowning at the roughness. _Chichue! You have stubble! _He remembered his father tackling him into the grass and rubbing his chin all over Kurogane's face. Sakura's giggle played in his head again. _You have stubble. _He wondered… given enough time, would they one day act the same way his father and he had acted? Amused at the thought, Kurogane grinned sharply at the princess.

"I'm waiting to see what the idiot will think of that," he replied, "When we get him back."

Sakura smiled.

"When we get him back."

With a squeal, Mokona came bounding back with a crown of flowers balanced precariously atop her floppy ears. Instinctively, Kurogane held out a hand, and Mokona landed deftly on his palm. She turned around to face Sakura, red jewel glowing on her forehead.

"Look Sakura!" she cried excitedly, "Kobato made Mokona a flower ring! Isn't it pretty?"

Sakura nodded patiently.

"Yes, it's very pretty Moko-chan," she praised, "Kobato-chan is good with her fingers."

Mokona swelled with pride.

"Mokona helped too! Mokona helped pick the flowers!"

The princess laughed.

"Mokona has very good eye to pick such pretty flowers."

With a giggle, Mokona leaned forward conspiratorially.

"The flowers may be pretty," she whispered, "But I think Sakura is prettier!"

Sakura blushed, and smiled. Kurogane sometimes wished he had the words to make her smile like that—the way Fai always could. He turned as Syaoran came running from goodness knew where, hands cupped almost reverently around something bundled in a white handkerchief. His face was positively _glowing; _Kurogane didn't think he'd seen his student so radiant in _months._

"Sakura!" he calls as he skids to a halt by Kurogane, his wildly beatific grin dying down into a shy smile, "I saw this during the festival and I… I thought of you."

The princess' face lit up.

"Oh, you shouldn't have," she said even as she leaned forward to take a closer look. Syaoran took a step closer to the projection, unwrapping the handkerchief from around the mystery object. Curious, Kurogane peered over the boy's shoulder. In his palms was a pendant, a cherry blossom carved from pinkish shells.

"How pretty," Sakura breathed, "Did you—oh!"

She turned around all of a sudden.

"Onii-sama!" she screamed across the hall, "You know that package in my room that I brought back from the carnival last month? Can you bring it here?"

"Huh? Get it yourself, kaijuu!"

_"What?! _Kaijuu janai! Just bring it here!"

"Don't be lazy!"

_"You're _being lazy! I'm talking to Syaoran!"

Sakura started as the high priest tapped her on the shoulder.

"Princess," Yukito called with a smile, bending down to present her with a bundle wrapped in brown paper.

"Thank you! Yukito-san is always so kind," she shot a glare at her brother, _"Unlike my Onii-san."_

She blew a loud raspberry and Syaoran smiled as she turned back to them. Her scowl immediately melted back into a shy sweetness.

"A traveling fair passed by awhile ago," she told them, "I got something for all of you."

Still chattering happily, she began to unwrap the package.

"There were a lot of things for sale, and a lot of performers too! It was very lively. But I ended up buying a lot of things I'll probably never use, and spent ages trying to think of people to give them to! The only one left is this hairpin."

She pulled a hairpin out of her hair. It was a deep red like crystallized blood, topped with an intricate swallowtail butterfly. The eerie ruby glow it emitted in the light might have been the reason why no one wanted it. With an awkward grin, Sakura artlessly stuck the pin back into her hair and lifted a small leather-bound book up for them to see.

"This is for Syaoran," she told the brunette shyly, "It's a dictionary of the language that the performers were speaking. I don't know if you've ever learnt the language but…"

She trailed off a little awkwardly. Mokona giggled.

"Syaoran will appreciate anything Sakura gives him," she teased, "Even if she gave him a used sock full of holes."

Sakura chuckled as Syaoran blushed. She put down the book, and picked up a single earring. It was a match to Mokona's earring, except that inside the amber jewel, a small red leaf was encased.

"This is for Mokona," Sakura explained, "To match her other earring."

She settled it carefully back down on her lap, and looked up sheepishly at Kurogane before showing them the next item.

"I know you probably already have one but," she lifted up a sheathed dagger, "But I didn't know what else to get you."

A dragon was set into the rich mahogany of the sheath, the deep engraved lines lined delicately with velvet so that the design was colored a rich crimson. She unsheathed the blade, and the same design was etched shallowly into the silver. The edge of it glinted brightly. Kurogane let out a quiet noise of interest and Sakura brightened. She sheathed the dagger and placed it in her lap again.

"And this one's for Fai-san," she said.

Fai's present was a matching dagger clearly of the same make. But instead of a dragon, a phoenix was carved into the surface of the wood. The creviced design was filled with blue crystalline glass and instead of wood, the sheath was a mirrored surface. Kurogane stubbornly pushed away the memory of the white phoenix. Judging from the abrupt hush, he was sure that he wasn't the only one. Finally, Syaoran cleared his throat.

"We can give it to him," he said quietly, "When we get him back."

Mokona nodded her head with a tiny smile.

"When we get him back," she whispered.

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><p>Mist rolled over cracked earth, swirling and twisting and folding in on itself in a single formless mass. A robe as white as the moon whispered quietly over the deadened ground, settling onto a blackened throne. Pale fingers carded gently through blonde, blonde locks to the time of comforting murmurs. The blue eyes of the man sitting at the foot of the throne were dulled, absent. Like a doll, he stared silently into the barren space in front of him, face frozen into expressionless beauty. White-sleeved arms slid around slim shoulders, and the monarch of the woods pressed his face into the crook of a pale neck.<p>

_They're coming, _echoed a sweet voice through the clearing, _they're coming._

With a quiet crackle like water hardening into crystal, green rolled across the grey earth. A bank rose up into green trees and at its base, water trickled through the clearing. The throne became a grand oak tree, and over the canopy of the woods, the flagged tips of a stone castle loomed. The mist evaporated into clarity; the sun shone down, unhindered.

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><p>"Morning is upon us."<p>

A pause. Yuuko's shapely figure against the grassy landscape seemed almost otherworldly. The barest glimmer of light on the horizon shone through the translucent fabric of her black kimono. On its surface, the embroidered burgundy butterflies stood out starkly. The sky behind her was a painting of purples and blues and the yellows of a rising sun and in the foreground, she was the subject. Her snowy skin contrasted against red lips and black hair that blew around her, unfettered. Around her wrist, she wore a strange brass bangle that jingled with an eerie resonance at her every movement. In the distance, Kakei stood, as ghostly a presence as she with her fluttering kimono and her unfathomably sorrowful eyes fixated on the coming dawn.

In her upturned palm, Mokona sat, ears drooping at her strangely mournful tone. Her mistress had always been a rather incomprehensible being with her profound silences and her enigmatic words. Yuuko absently stroked the creature's white head. On that distant hill-peak, Kakei lowered his eyes to the ground as if in mourning.

"Yes," a sweet voice sliced sharply through the funereal atmosphere, like the first blossom of spring through the winter, "Isn't it beautiful?"

The princess stared upon the rising sun with a calm wonderment. Yuuko turned to her with some surprise.

"I suppose you could say that as well," she murmured quietly, and turned back to look at the purples that swirled and gave way to blue. From behind, the muffled noises of the townsfolk reached them in a muted, incoherent mass of buzzing. The crickets were humming quietly in the grass that shimmered with the colors of the sky as if the sunrise had been delicately painted onto each and every dewdrop. Sakura turned youthful green eyes to the innkeeper's solemn figure.

"That kimono looks beautiful on you, Witch-san," she complimented absently, and Yuuko turned with some surprise. Sakura frowned, cocking a head to one side as if in thought, "I think…"

She pulled the hairpin out of her hair. Red eyes widened as Sakura stared down at the pin thoughtfully. The princess finally looked up at the innkeeper with a smile as bright as the sun.

"I think this matches amazingly well!" she exclaimed excitedly, "Yokatta… I thought I'd never find anyone to give it to!"

Yuuko turned her body slowly around to face the princess, slowly, slowly, as if she might startle the butterfly off the tip of the hairpin with her movements. Her red eyes fixated on the equally red pin.

"You would give that to me?" she asked carefully.

"Why not?" Sakura chattered happily, "Oh look, How wonderful! It even matches your eyes, Witch-san!"

Yuuko took a measured step forward. In her palm, Mokona looked up at her with a curious perk of her ears. Her mistress teemed with a repressed anticipation, a tight ball of desire that crawled within her as if it could burst from the surface of her thin skin at any moment.

"Indeed, it does," she murmured, taking another step forward, "I think it would complete this outfit, don't you think?"

"Like the missing piece of a puzzle," Sakura quipped.

Like the sun that dawned upon them in the background, a secret little smile spread across crimson lips.

"An apt description."

Green eyes closed in a pleasant smile.

"Would you like me to send it over now?"

"It would complete my outfit, would it not?"

Sakura held the pin out, as if she could pass it through the projection and into the dimension on its other side—so many, many worlds away; so many, many planes away. Mokona gasped as the surface of the wavering projection began to warp. It pushed forward like transparent film under the pressure of the sharp end of the pin until the very space between them protruded grotesquely forward like a tent. Then with a little _snap! _the sharp edge broke through the thin film separating them and the film crumbled around the pin like a deflated balloon, like a collapsed spider-web.

"Yuuko…" whispered the creature fearfully, but the innkeeper reached forward to accept the pin, unfazed.

As the butterfly pulled completely free of the collapsing reality that clung to it still, like sticky threads, the film snapped back in place. A moment later, the surface of the projection was smooth once more, as if nothing had ever happened.

Sakura turned to the first rays of light that peeked shyly over the horizons, enriching the gold of the thatched roofs and showering down upon the grasses like a prayer.

"The sun is up," Sakura observed.

Yuuko smiled. The slim body of the pin was warm between her fingers.

"Yes," she murmured, "And isn't it beautiful?"

Under the sunlight, the dewdrops amongst the grass lit up like minuscule mirrors that reflected minuscule suns, and the grassy bank was set alight with what seemed like billions of shimmering stars fallen to the earth like scattered diamonds.

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><p><em>Snow. Falling white against a background of night. It was always so cold here. So cold.<em>

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><p>"Once you enter the woods, there is no guarantee you will return."<p>

"We know."

"And you are all certain of your choices?"

"Yes."

A pause.

"Then look forward, my children, and never look back. I bid you a safe return."

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><p>They marched slowly through a small gap between the trees—an oddly solemn procession like a funeral. The birds barely chirped and the sun was barely up. The purplish-blue sky with its still faintly twinkling stars appeared in dapples through the leaves of the canopy. Yuuko stood at the edge of the woods, Kakei at her side, watching them go like a mother sending her sons off on a voyage at sea. Syaoran turned around to catch a last glimpse at her as they trudged onwards in silence, and wished he didn't. As the last person stepped across the threshold between wood and plain, the light of the world beyond the wood disappeared. Black like slithering vines of tar crawled over the gap between the trees. Over them, darkness stifled the morning light like a heavy blanket, like a thick duvet that extinguished the stars and casted them in darkness.<p>

Suddenly, the trees on either side of him seemed denser, darker. The only clear path was the empty ground that stretched away from them, deeper and deeper into the unknown depths of the woods. Like a yellow brick road, the path led them in only one direction. The trees herded them in a single file, and the sky blocked escape even by flight. Syaoran swallowed dryly and snapped his head back around, facing the front once more. From the flickering projection that floated in mid-air, he could see Sakura's shaky smile. All around him, the townsfolk pursed their lips, and trudged silently on.

_Look forward and never look back._

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><p><em>Hanging suspended against the window pane, high, high off the ground, was an ornate bird-cage. Gilded iron bars twined intricately into a handle at the top. Minuscule gold leaves and blossoms sprouted from the bars, some smaller tendrils crossing horizontally across them and some hanging from the bottom of it; a tableau of intertwining vines, turned to gold. A tiny silver bell dangled from the bottom of the cage, tinkling gently. Within it, a small songbird trilled mournful little half-tunes. White with a breast of pale robin's egg blue and a dark cerulean plume atop its tiny head, it had a delicate black beak and limpid navy eyes. It flitted about within its confines, chirping occasionally before resuming its sporadic, incomplete melodies.<em>

_Won't you sing, little songbird?_

_With a little cock of its pretty head, it turned to look at the speaker. Then that little black beak parted, and it sang._

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><p>Kurogane cast a careful eye around their surroundings. Mokona was, for once, silent in his palm. In the oppressive darkness, even the flames from their lit torches seemed stifled and dim. The crunch of grit underfoot echoed eerily into the darkness beyond, and the trees loomed like ghostly black specters. The dark leaves on the trees had gradually become withered and thin as they had travelled further until they completely disappeared into dead, gnarled branches. There were increasingly large cracks in the ground, like the earth had been sucked of all moisture, and some of the trunks flanking them had cracked right down the middle.<p>

The beginning threads of fear had begun to spread through the little army of people. Sudden frantic murmuring from the back caught Kurogane's attention. He clapped a hand on the shoulder of the boy in front of him (the blur, black-haired boy from Hanshin, he remembered absently) as the youngling started and made as if to turn around.

"Look forward and never look back," he murmured, and the boy blinked up at him with fearful eyes before looking straight ahead once more. Kurogane let his hand slide off the boy's shoulder, and slowed so that he eventually fell to the rear. A hysterical voice reached him above the soothing murmurs of the people surrounding the girl in question. She was a tiny thing with mousy-brown hair and a pale face. Though the paleness could also have been due to fright.

"What's going on?" Kurogane questioned, and they looked up at him.

"She was…" the girl began, "She was right behind me. Then the next thing I knew, she was gone! I didn't hear anything out of the ordinary so maybe… maybe she fell behind."

"Should we go back for her?"

"No," Kurogane said sharply, "Stick close and do _not—"_

A scream rang out from the front and the procession stopped abruptly. The terrified girl clapped her hands over her mouth, and her friends hugged her close. Kurogane turned back to them for a moment.

"Don't stand at the back," he commanded, eying the frightened little gaggle of girls, "Move up front a little."

He turned back around and weaved through the crowd until he reached the front.

"What? What's wrong?"

"L-look!" exclaimed Yuzuriha in horror, pointing into the darkness on either side of the path. Kurogane tensed and tuned out the whispering of the people around him as they squinted and craned their necks, listening closely for the sounds of approaching danger. Yuzuriha turned her face into Kusanagi's arm, disconsolate, and the man wrapped one arm around her. Kurogane ignored them and took a step forward, peering carefully into the gloom between the trees. It took a moment before his eyes adapted enough to see anything, and he had better eyesight than most. Still, the sight of a pale, frozen face within the darkness more than unsettled him. More screams rang out as others caught sight of the face between the trees, but Kurogane managed to school his horror into expressionlessness.

"What's that?!" shrieked a girl beside him, stepping back, "What's that?!"

Kurogane clamped a hand roughly down on her shoulder.

"Stop that," he commanded sharply in a low voice, "You're scaring the others."

True enough, the people behind who couldn't see what they could looked frightened, confused. The whispering had picked up into fearful murmuring. Syaoran pushed through the crowd and stepped up to his mentor. Mokona looked frightened on his shoulder. The reddish glow from the jewel on her forehead and the transmission of Sakura and Yuuko side by side cast a bloody light over the trees around them. Kurogane turned back to the pale face in the darkness, squinting. He took a step forward, into the darkness, and felt a hand grab onto his elbow. Behind him, the girl whimpered, shaking her head. Kurogane stopped at the edge of the dense trees, and peered into the pitch blackness again. His eyes adjusted again to the darker shadows between the trees.

A frozen face peered at him from a tree much further into the gloom, mouth gaping and eyes wide in an expression of perpetual horror. A layer of blueish crystal sealed the person into the bark like ice. Kurogane took a step back, returning to the path; the girl released her tight grip on his arm.

"Just a trick of the light," he said numbly, and continued forward, "Let's go."

The procession proceeded. The faces around him were disbelieving.

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><p><em>I wonder.<em>

_Little blue eyes of a navy so dark it was almost black flicked once towards the voice, before flicking back out of the window—back at the falling snow, the pitch-black night, the winter trees so coated that they seemed white instead of green. The sad, drawn-out trilling resumed, blue-tipped wings of white like an angel's fluttering quickly as the songbird flitted. Once, it flew against the bars of the cage so forcefully that the whole cage swayed, knocking against the window-pane a few times before settling, as if it thought that if only it flew hard enough, it could be free. It settled back on its perch within the cage with a disharmonious shriek. A moment later, the desolate song began anew._

_I wonder how it has the heart to continue singing._

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><p>Syaoran averted his eyes from another frozen face with a numb horror. The townsfolk gave it only a second fearful glance, then moved on. They had passed quite a few on the way, and the frequency of appearance had increased until they sometimes found screaming faces on the trees closest to them. If he peered into the darkness beyond the path, he knew he'd only see more. Some of the faces sealed within the bark had garnered gasps of recognition, and sometimes even sobbing. Those were probably the brave ones who had thought to trespass into the woods. Around them, the cracks had widened in the ground and the bark and even the empty sky, revealing within it not darkness, but a strange iridescent space of pulsing, straining cosmos. Like torn seams, these were the breaks in the fabric of the universe, Yuuko had explained awhile ago, but the innkeeper was silent now as she looked over the widening chasms that they encountered the further they went. The air surrounding them was fearful; the quiet disappearances of stragglers and people on the fringes had instilled tension.<p>

A dim sparkle of light ahead caught his eye. Syaoran craned his neck a little, and at the end of the path, he thought he could see whiteness. Sakura gasped, and Mokona brightened on his shoulder. The villagers ahead began to walk faster, heading with a silent eagerness for what seemed like the end.

"Oh god. Oh _god!" _

Kamui's voice from further ahead drew Syaoran's attention. Sakura perked, and looked down at him expectantly. Syaoran nodded and pushed forward until he found Kamui at the side of the path. Subaru held him in a firm grip, but Kamui only had eyes for another frozen face in the trees. The rest of the procession moved around them like water, continuing onward without stopping. Kamui tugged once at Subaru's restraining hold, trying to rush forward into the dense trees, but Subaru yanked him roughly back.

"You can't do anything for him," he murmured, "We have to keep moving on. We're almost _there. _It's just ahead."

Kamui looked straight ahead; the light was getting brighter. With an angry snarl, Kamui tore free of Subaru's grasp, and turned sharply away. He stormed furiously onward. Subaru followed after him, and normalcy was restored as they joined the flow of human traffic. One of the cracks widened with an ominous creaking, letting out a strange whistling like air being released from a small opening. Ignoring it, Syaoran peered curiously into the darkness.

A familiar face stood out in the gloom, contorted not into fear, but a strange defiance.

"Fuuma…" he whispered and Sakura gasped, clapping her hands over her mouth in horror.

A blood-curdling scream reached his ears.

_"Help!" _came a terrified shriek, "Help me! _It's got me!"_

Syaoran whipped around, and caught sight of a terrified face disappearing into the darkness.

"_Please!" _screamed the girl as was pulled roughly into the trees.

Another scream had him whipping around once more to see someone being dragged across the ground by the foot. Suddenly, the air exploded with the sounds of screams. All around him, Syaoran saw people fall to the ground, saw people disappearing into the trees. More screams, as the people around him began to panic and run for the light. Lit torches were dropped into the dirt, and quickly stamped out by the stampeding crowd. Their surroundings were cast into darkness, and Syaoran could see the barest outlines of people running about from the glow of Mokona's jewel, and the glowing edges of her projections. Beside him, someone fell to the floor, screaming as she was dragged away. In the chaos and the pitch-blackness, they made an easy prey.

A lightning-fast flicker of movement from the trees had Syaoran pulling his sword from its scabbard and slashing through the air. A splatter of sticky liquid splashed over him along with the squelch of a landed blade. The blood of their invisible foe was an cool, slimy substance. He lowered his blade, listening for future threats. Abruptly, the liquid over his shirt congealed into a slimy tendril, crawling around Syaoran's neck and tightening. Syaoran cried out as he tried to pry it off, but it only stuck to his fingers. He wiped his fingers on his outer shirt and tore it off, flinging it out into the pitch-blackness. On his shoulder, Mokona let out an unearthly _shriek—_a sound of terror he had never heard her make before.

"Mokona!" Sakura screamed in the darkness—Syaoran couldn't see her face in the darkness, only the red glowing fringes that framed it, "Syaoran!"

"Look forward!" Yuuko commanded, "Never look back! _Never _look back!"

Syaoran tore Mokona off his shoulder and bundled her tightly to his chest, hunching protectively over her quivering body as he threw himself forward. Warm bodies and the hard edges of elbows, shoulders, knees; they assaulted him as he pushed through the screaming mob, hurtling straight for the light that he could just see, shining weakly at the end of the path.

"Help me! _Help _me!" came the screams all around him, but Syaoran tuned them out and ran forward.

"Everyone calm down!" came Yuzuriha's voice over the screaming, "Calm down!"

"Yuzuriha-chan?!" Syaoran bellowed.

"Syaoran-kun!" came the girl's reply, closer this time.

"Everybody! Hold hands!" Sakura screamed.

"What?" came a disgusted voice from next to him—_Kamui. _Syaoran reached out and grabbed the boy's hand. Kamui yelped.

"Like hell I'll let you drag me away!" he hollered, and lashed out at Syaoran.

"It's me, goddammit!" Syaoran yelled back. Fingers scrabbled blindly at his other wrist, and he turned to see a red glow outlining the curve of a cheek. He latched onto a warm, sweaty palm. Beside the brunette, Kamui turned to yell at the person next to him.

"Who the hell are _you?"_

"Fuck!" came Kurogane's deep voice, "It's you!"

"Bastard!" Kamui immediately responded, "This is disgusting!"

"Stop being ridiculous and _run!" _Yuzuriha screamed at them from somewhere off to the left. Syaoran felt his other hand being yanked forward by the silent person holding onto it, and roughly yanked Kamui after him as he ran forward.

"Oi!" Kurogane yelled, "Are you trying to pull my arm out?"

"Shut up and don't be a wuss!"

There was a loud _thump _in front of him before screaming ensued. Syaoran found himself stumbling over the fallen, screaming body. In unison, two hands tightened on his, tugging him upright again.

"Watch it!"

"Are you alright?" a quiet voice enquired from his other side.

"Subaru-san!" Syaoran exclaimed.

"Look!" Sakura cried, "I can see the end of the path!"

Ahead, the light grew brighter and brighter, nearer and nearer, until Syaoran could make out the outline of the trees on either side of it. A little aways from him, Kurogane cursed, and Syaoran could just make out the whistling of his blade through the air, the sickening squelch of severed limbs, and the loud splatter of sticky liquid. A moment later, Kurogane hissed.

"What the fuck _is _this stuff?!" he yelled, "What—It's… How do I get it off?!"

"Burn it off, fool!" Kamui hollered over the screaming that was getting more and more distant, as the rest of the mob fell behind them.

"I'm not going to burn myself!"

"Use magic!"

"I'm not a pussy magic-user!"

A bright spark of purple, and a line of purple fire spread across the figure of a man, lighting up the underside of a tanned jaw. Kurogane yelped, and Syaoran could make out his mentor's face in the glow of magic fire, and in the light from ahead. The purple fire spluttered out a moment later.

"You burned me!"

"Not so pussy after all, huh?" Kamui retaliated.

In the approaching light, Syaoran could make out the outlines of craggy branches, and the highlights of green eyes beside him. The person on Subaru's other side was a large figure with golden eyes like an eagle. He looked back ahead, squinting into the blinding light that only grew larger and brighter as they ran towards it. The edges of the trees gradually disappeared into the brilliant white, until Syaoran couldn't see anything but. With a hiss of determination, he put on a burst of speed, feeling the faint edges of an overwhelming magical presence beginning to tickle at his senses.

"It's just ahead," Watanuki yelled, "I can feel it!"

And as they sprinted through the last trees that littered the edge of the clearing, as they stepped across the threshold between forest and clearing, the full magnitude of that magic hit his magical receptors as brilliantly and suddenly as the light hit his retinas. He dropped to his knees, numbed, blinded, and insensate. He did not notice Kamui falling to the ground beside him. He did not see Subaru crumpling on his other side. He was deaf to the sound of Kurogane's yelling. All he could fixate on was the rush of blood in his ears, and the beat of his heart like a drum in slow motion.

_Badump._

"Oi, get up!" Kurogane yelled, "Get up, all of you!"

_Ba...dump._

* * *

><p><em>I think... if I were in that cage, I'd die of grief, and be silent forevermore.<em>

* * *

><p><em>Ba...<em>

"It's nice… to see that my visitors have finally arrived. I've been expecting you."

The sweet voice of a child cut through the haze of scrambled senses like a red-hot knife. Syaoran tightened his fingers in the grass beneath him, fighting to surface from the blindness. That voice… it was strangely familiar. It called to him through foggy memories like a siren's song. Who was it? _Who was it?_

"I suppose you're here to take your friend back."

"You—" Kurogane choked in shock, "Why—"

The brilliant whiteness faded slowly away, as Syaoran peered blindly ahead. He could barely make out a blue, blue sky, and green, green grass that fell away ahead of him into a grassy bank. As the numbness seeped out of his limbs, a brook appeared to him, a crystalline line that wound past the base of the slope. Past it, he followed the green grass to a warm oak tree that loomed in all its grandeur like an ancient guardian.

"But you see," that voice continued on sweetly, "He's better off _here."_

At its base, the trunk of the oak tree was warped. Gnarled wood protruded outwards, forming a strangely organic throne. A familiar figure sat at the foot of the throne, blonde hair tumbling over pale shoulders, unbound, blue eyes absent. Like a necklace of amethyst, bruises like the memory of gripping fingers wound around a pale neck. Small, pale fingers stroked over those bruises, carded through wheat locks. Seated on the throne, a little princeling watched them with dollish blue eyes and plump lips just a little smiling, draped in white robes that did not even touch the ground—that was how small he was. Pale skin shone with an unnatural glow, and blonde hair gleamed like spun gold. The child on the throne glowed eerily, lips unmoving even as that familiar voice reached them once more.

"Everything here is what he _wants _to see most. This place, this form. Can you say the same for the world outside of here, when its ugliness has upset him so?"

That familiar voice of a little Valerian prince.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Sorry its been so long since the last update! I was sort of uninspired again, but the inspiration finally came back and I seized the opportunity to finish this chapter off. Hope you enjoyed, and I'm sure a lot of you already expected the magic user to take the form of Fai's twin. Now I'm off to finish all the work I need to be doing. By the way, I never expected to see any of my fics hit so close to 100. So thank you all of you amazing people! I shower virtual cookies upon all of you like rain.**

**Please don't stop reviewing!**


	14. Shattering Illusions

**Summary: The final battle.**

**Warnings:** **Kurofai, established relationship. This is post-series so spoilers for the end. There will also be spoilers for Fai's past later. Hinted TouyaYuki, Douwata, and other CLAMP pairings. Swearing, innuendo, a bit of violence later on perhaps? I'm not sure if the rating will go up in later chapters. We will see.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

* * *

><p><em>The bird turned it's head, limpid eyes curiously seeking the source of the voices. A small chirp issued from its throat and it lost interest. With another quiet twitter, it hopped over to the side of the cage, its little feet clinging tight to the bars of the cage as it held itself sideways. It trilled a long note as it looked out of the window, and then dropped back onto the swinging bar in suspended in the middle of the cage. It cheeped twice, then sang a half-song before stopping again.<em>

_The boy stepped forward and peered keenly into the cage._

* * *

><p>"I haven't had visitors in such a long time," the stranger in Fai's body continued sweetly, "Are you here to kill me?"<p>

The silence was as good of an answer as he was going to get, but the boy was unperturbed.

_"They _all tried to kill me too, back then," he informed them, "But I showed them. I showed them all. They burnt the way they tried to burn me. Shall I burn you as well?"

"Wait…" Yuzuriha called weakly, "Don't you know that by keeping Fai here, you're destroying this universe? Look, you can already see this world breaking apart!"

Around them, the iridescent rips pulsed ominously, worlds pushing and expanding and breaking into one another; the end of reason. At the centre of it all, the image of the little boy tilted his head to the side, a innocently considering look on his face.

"Perhaps it'd be better for everything to end," he said after a moment of consideration, "The world will be created anew, and all the evil people will be gone."

Blue eyes turned back to them, and Kurogane hissed as the boy slid his arms around Fai, pulling the other blonde into an embrace.

"Don't you see?" he said with utmost conviction, "He and I… we're the same. And together, we can cleanse this world of evil."

"You're insane!" Kurogane accused disbelievingly, and although the child's face did not change in expression, he exuded the distinctive air of amusement.

"Those who have yet to see the truth cannot possibly understand the philosophies of the enlightened," he told Kurogane, somewhat condescendingly, "The world is full of fools, and they are the ones who condemn the enlightened as insane."

"Shut up!" Kamui hissed, "You're so deluded that its sad."

The eerie porcelain face turned slowly to the new speaker, and a moment later, a child's bone-chilling laugh tinkled through the air. Still, the child's face did not shift past expressionless serenity, and those coral lips did not part with in time with the mechanical laughter.

"Poor children," he murmured, _"You _are the deluded ones."

With a snarl, Kamui drew a bejeweled sword.

_"Talking to you is useless!"_

Metal clashed in screeching disharmony.

* * *

><p><em>What is it singing?<em>

_A small, pale finger inched through the gilded bars of the cage. It stroked against the well-groomed plume atop the songbird's head. It trilled a startled note, hopping away from the intruder. _

_It sings of love._

_The finger withdrew, and a moment later returned, pushing cake crumbs between the bars—an offering. Hesitation, then the bird hopped forward and pecked at the crumbs with a low churring sound deep in its breast. Small as it was, the finger was a giant in relation to the bird. Slowly, carefully, it curled and tickled along the neck of the creature, stroking gently. Chirping with a temporal satisfaction, it rubbed against the finger, and pecked up the crumbs remaining on it._

_For the northern winds that would carry it upon her back. For the sky, an entity as old as time, that cradles it within her. For the clouds, the trees, the rain, the sun. For nature, because it is an unexplainable, indescribable love that all animals have for the world that gives them life._

_The songbird pecked away the last of the crumbs, and the finger withdrew. The little creature was quiet for a long moment, busying itself with searching for crumbs on the floor of the birdcage, on its own pale blue breast. Finding none, the doleful tune resumed, the songbird stilling on its perch and facing the snowfall once more._

_And it sings of yearning. For that loved world that it's never known, but a world loved and longed for still._

* * *

><p>For a long moment, it was as if Kamui were suspended, blade screeching against an invisible barrier mere feet from the boy's face. Then with a discordant clang, lightning sizzled in crackling lines across the surface of the barrier, shooting from the point where Kamui's sword collided with it. With a pained cry, Kamui was thrown backwards. His sword clattered to the grass some distance away as he landed, tumbling until he rolled limply to a halt. He twitched as the last of the lightning tore through his body, and at the other end of the meadow, the little prince doubled over the side of his throne. Blood splattered over the grass.<p>

Ignoring the cries of alarm and the stunned body of his comrade lying in the grass, Kurogane charged for their vulnerable enemy with a battle cry. The robed figure straightened up, pristine. Blue eyes stared at him from beneath yellow-brown lashes for a moment, enveloping him like a mechanical sea. It swallowed him up, and all he could see was that endless blue, blue, _blue._

Suddenly, the entire landscape _morphed. _Beneath him, the ground rose with a terrible groan; a tsunami of grass and earth. He stumbled backwards, gripping tightly to his sword as he fell back, tumbling down into all-encompassing darkness—

He opened his eyes to the sight of utter blackness, and for a moment, thought he was blind. Then he rolled over and saw forbidding walls of intertwined bark and withered black leaves, looming in the dim light. He was surrounded on both sides by the woody vines, and the sky was stifled with heavy darkness above him. Kurogane stood up and placed a palm against the tree bark encasing him inside a tunnel of darkness. Between the gaps of the vines, he thought he could see outside… He leant closer, squinting through the wall.

A figure knelt absently in the middle of the lighted clearing, fair hair lit up in the light like a flame. At his back, the robed child sat, carding through unbound blonde hair with careful fingers. Kurogane's eyes widened.

_"Fai!"_

* * *

><p>A whisper from behind him made Syaoran draw his sword, spinning around to face—<p>

Nothing.

Discomforted, he lowered his blade, but did not sheathe it. After staring into the impenetrable darkness for a moment longer, he turned around and continued to walk. He was in some kind of maze. They had been fighting the magic-user and suddenly he had been falling into some chasm. He had probably been knocked unconscious somewhere along the way, because he had woken up in the darkness, blood caking the back of his head.

He ran his fingers through his matted hair, wincing as they came away sticky. He didn't _feel _concussed, and although his head hurt, he was thinking clearly. The walls on either side of him was made of intertwined bark. He had tried taking his sword to it, but the wood had refused to give. He'd tried magic, first to burn the vines away. When the wall had refused to catch fire, he'd tried a few other spells. Finally, he attempted to conjure up some magic-fire to light the way, only to find that the flame did nothing to penetrate the darkness around him.

Right now, the flame was still sitting in his palm, but although it glowed brilliantly, he couldn't even see his hand beneath it. When he waved his free hand in front of his face, he saw nothing of the movement. Spreading his senses out, he could sense nothing for miles and miles and—

A flicker.

His eyes snapped open, though it made no difference; the back of his eyelids provided the same view as the landscape around him. A presence like a flame moved in the distance. It was faint, but so very familiar. He leaned forward, frowning as he tried to place that presence. It was…

_"Syaoran?!"_

A stone seemed to drop into the pit of his stomach.

"Syaoran? Where are you? Where's everyone?"

"Sakura!"

He turned towards Sakura's presence, but found himself confronted with a wall.

"Yuzuriha-chan? Kurogane-san? Yuuko-san?!"

He pounded a fist into the wall, barely wincing when a jagged edge of the bark slashed his knuckles open, and not faltering even when warm liquid began to run down his wrist.

"Sakura? Sakura, can you hear me?"

"Hello? Hello? Can anyone hear me? Moko-chan? Answer me!"

She couldn't hear him. Syaoran swore, and began to try to find his way to her, around the wall.

"Yukito-san, no one is answering! Can you send me to their world?"

"No! Don't come over here!"

He began to run.

* * *

><p><em>Why do people put birds in cages? That's terrible.<em>

_Terrible, echoed the whisper down the cold, empty hallways. Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. As if the walls themselves were murmuring the word. And as the murmur rebounded down the corridor, it seemed to get louder and louder. The sad, helpless whisper rose into an accusative roar. Terrible, it yelled, you're terrible. Terrible. Terrible! How terrible they were that no one even stepped foot in this wing anymore, knowing that they lived here. The entire wing of the palace was void of life. Except them. Except the pretty little songbird. And in the emptiness the serpents hissed. Terrible! Terrible! Terrible! Like a hoard of satanic devils, hissing and spluttering in his ear. He couldn't hear. He couldn't think. He didn't know what to do._

* * *

><p>He was lying on his side, curled up in a bed of withered leaves. He rolled over, sat up, and found himself surrounded by trees.<p>

Yes. He had been knocked out of the clearing and into the forest, hadn't he? He remembered crashing through the leaves of a short sapling, branches tearing at his limbs, and then finally smashing into a trunk and falling unconscious. Even now, his back was sore, from neck all the way to his toes. Groaning, Subaru climbed to his feet, and shot a wary look around him. He couldn't even see the light of the clearing from here, and had he _really _been thrown back that far? It was like he was on the path walking in all over again, except this time he was off the path, surrounded only by darkness.

He was abruptly aware of the fact that he was completely, utterly alone.

Casting aside any childish fears of the dark (how was it that he felt so old, when he could still remember blushing at his twin's inappropriate comments just days ago?), Subaru started forward, leaves crunching underfoot. Kamui… Kamui was still in the clearing. He was unconscious, vulnerable, defenseless. Was he even alive? Had the electrocution killed him as well? No, no, no. Perhaps he was—

The others will take care of him, Subaru told himself firmly. Just concentrate on getting back there, and stop worrying. He walked a little faster, and promptly collided with a tree trunk. He swore, and tried to make his way around it in the darkness. What a _thick _tree it was too. It was wider than he was and—

_"Subaru…kun?"_

The whisper was weak, but he'd never forget that voice.

_"Is that you?"_

It was the voice of the man that _(he loved) _had ruined his life. He found himself compelled to follow the girth of the tree with his fingertips, until he felt smooth, cool crystal. Labored breathing issued from the tree, but he could see nothing in the darkness. With a mounting horror, he conjured up a small flame.

And _screamed._

Sealed into the tree in front of him, crystal creeping slowly over his body like a spreading glacier, was Seishirou.

A single gold eye squinted at him, pupils contracting in the sudden light. The other eye was still swathed in white bandages, now stained with spots of red. Subaru found himself reaching up to touch that eye. _(his fault.) _At his touch, Seishirou winced.

"Ah, ah, Subaru-kun," he scolded teasingly, voice weak, "Don't touch. I think it might be infected. Haven't really changed my dressings since I got, _heh, _all tied up over here."

Subaru wasn't sure what he'd expected to hear from the man, especially after said man had killed his sister, crippled his grandmother, and broken his heart. But one thing was certain…

"How dare you speak to me like nothing has changed?"

He hadn't expected _this._

* * *

><p>"Oi."<p>

The figure in front of him did not turn, only continued to sprint forward, and Doumeki reached out for a fluttering sleeve, calling out more desperately.

_"Watanuki."_

Abruptly, there was silk between his fingers, and with a _riippp, _Watanuki's sleeve tore. Whipping around, Watanuki stared at him with wide eyes for a moment, his now bare forearm clutched protectively to his chest. Finally recognizing him, the wide-eyed stare narrowed into a glare.

"So you _do _know my name," he grumbled as he stepped forward, "I actually thought otherwise."

Doumeki shrugged.

An inhumane groan issued from behind the wall to his left, and Watanuki started.

"What's that?"

Doumeki said nothing, did nothing, as Watanuki absently stepped closer. A moment of silence. Their breathing was strangely loud in the darkness. Long fingers were clenched in his sleeve, and—

Something very large rammed into the vines, and suddenly he could hear nothing but an earsplitting _roar._

Reacting instinctively, he pulled Watanuki away, planting himself between the smaller man and the source of danger. Watanuki's fingers intertwined with his own, and then he was being yanked along.

_"Run!"_

They ran. His heart pounded loudly in his ears with every jarring impact of his feet to the ground. Behind them, the beast roared again, and with a crash, he heard the wall give way. He heard Watanuki _scream, _and then he was suddenly aware of a very large something charging right past them. It impacted with another wall, assumably in front of them, and Doumeki's heart stopped right there.

_They had almost run into a dead-end._

Gripping Watanuki's fingers tightly in his own, he spun on his heel and yanked his companion along with him. He trailed his free hand against the wall as he ran, to make sure they didn't bang into anything in the pitch blackness. Watanuki's sharp breathing from behind him was frightened, bothering on breathless sobbing. Another roar, and then something _crashed _into the wall a short distance behind them. Watanuki let out a terrified shriek, just as his fingers disappeared into empty space.

He turned sharply into the side-route, yanking Watanuki along with him. He continued to sprint down the new tunnel in the maze, not daring to even turn around to see if the beast was following them. An enraged roar, and a crash some distance back.

The ground fell to nothingness beneath him.

And then they were falling, falling, tumbling over and over as he wrapped himself around his smaller companion and then— his fingers scrabbled over gnarled vines, missed. He made another desperate grab, and their freefall was brought to an abrupt halt. Watanuki took in a sharp breath.

"Doume—"

The branch snapped, and Watanuki was screaming as they fell once more. With one arm wrapped around the smaller youth, he reached out with the other, and grasped nothing. They crashed through some sparse branches, sharp edges whipping at their arms and legs as they fell; Doumeki tried to keep Watanuki from the brunt of it. Then suddenly…. _impact._

Their fall came to a painful stop as they crashed to the hard ground. Doumeki winced as he felt his leg _snap _beneath him, then grunted as Watanuki landed on top of him.

"Are you okay?" he breathed, trying not to sound winded, and tried to ignore the ache when Watanuki scrambled away from him until he smacked into a nearby wall.

"I'm fine!"

Watanuki stood, brushing himself down almost indignantly. Not that Doumeki could see much in the darkness.

"Stupid Doumeki, holding me like a girl and—hey! Get up! There's already little enough space in this hole without you lying about like a lazy pig!"

Watanuki was right, they were enclosed by tree bark on all sides, and Watanuki was pressed right up against the wall. Pushing himself into a sitting position, he was stunned by the sudden lightning flash of white-hot _pain. _At his pained hiss, Watanuki quietened.

"Doumeki?"

He did not answer. Watanuki crept slight closer.

"Are you okay?"

He felt cool fingertips brush over his thigh, sweeping down until…

_"Oh god."_

He said nothing as he felt Watanuki begin to gently probe his broken leg.

"Your leg is broken."

Watanuki sometimes still surprised him with his tendency for redundancy.

"I know."

A sharp intake of breath, and then Watanuki's other hand was tightening in his collar.

_"I know?" _he hissed, "Is that all you have to _say? _Your leg is broken and all you have to say is _I know?!"_

He froze as he heard a wet sniff.

"You're always getting hurt because of _me!" _Watanuki accused thickly, "Have you ever asked me what _I_ felt about _that?!"_

"Watanuki," he said, reaching out blindly for his friend, only to have his hand slapped away.

"Are you in love with me?"

He froze.

"Answer me!"

_Unrequited. He'll never love you back._

"….yes."

But he couldn't lie.

There was a quiet gasp, and then there were lips pressing feverishly against his own, hands running desperately over his shoulders. A quiet moan, and then he clenched his fingers into Watanuki's clothing and kissed him back. It was messy, desperate. Watanuki yanked on his hair, and then the distinctive rustle of clothing being removed filled the tiny space. Doumeki did not protest, only opened his mouth when he felt the wet sweep of tongue over his lips, but Watanuki pulled away with a shuddering breath.

"Do you want me?" he whispered.

"Yes," Doumeki answered without hesitation, and Watanuki dove back in for another kiss. He pulled away shortly, and began to mouth at his collarbone.

"How much?" he murmured.

_So much I could die, _Doumeki thought, but didn't say out loud. He felt Watanuki's lips spread into a smile against his neck.

"Really?" Watanuki whispered, and Doumeki frowned in confusion; he hadn't said anything, "That's too bad then."

"Wata—"

"_Because I'm not Watanuki Kimihiro."_

* * *

><p><em>Snow fell. In the foreground of the fluttering white flakes, a little blue songbird chirped quietly, and fluttered around its boundaries once before settling down on its perch again.<em>

_To yearn for something means that you haven't completely given up yet. To yearn is to hope._

_But what is there to hope for, in a situation so hopeless?_

_Hopeless. Hopeless. Hopeless. This is hopeless, hissed the palace walls, you are hopeless. Hopeless. Hopeless. Desolation set in. Was there any hope? Any at all? Any that a songbird could escape its cage? Or would it be trapped here, in this empty wing of this cold, unforgiving castle, forever? The bars of the cage were so strong, and the bird so small and so frail. How _could _it escape? It was hopeless. Hopeless. Hopeless!_

_Unless…_

_Unless a greater something reached in and took it away. Away from the gilded bars and the great, unkind castle. Away from the sneering nobles and the unsympathetic king. Away. Away from it all. To a true elsewhere. An elsewhere where it could be safe and treasured. Where it no longer had to sing of yearning._

_But no one would come. No one would come to take the little songbird away. And here it would stay, singing its sad song to an empty castle until the day it died. Alone. Hated. Demonized._

_There is nothing to hope for, in a situation this hopeless._

* * *

><p>Suddenly, wet tendrils snaked around his neck and tightened. As he choked, Watanuki grinned at him with a madman's grin that grew wider and wider until his mouth tore open in a grotesque parody of a smile. Doumeki clawed at the tendrils around his neck, too breathless to even scream. In front of his very eyes, Watanuki's face began to dissolve into the same black tar as a distorted voice issued from those blackened lips.<p>

_"What's wrong?"_

He felt the rest of Watanuki's body dissolving against him, crawling wetly over him and enveloping him in a smothering embrace. Those gaping black lips kissed him again, and they tasted like death and decay. He jerked back as monstrous laughter filled the darkness.

_"Are you scared of me?" _the not-Watanuki asked, sounding amused, "_I thought you loved me?"_

His vision started to go black at the corners, a vignette to the mangled portrait of Watanuki's dissolving face. Those gaping lips opened in a floppy grin, revealing white, even teeth that began to dissolve into slime as well. Black lashes slowly fell off, and pale eyelids shrunk back to reveal the eyeball. With a sickening _pop, _a single blue eye slipped from the mess of slime and rolled over the floor until it came to rest, its blue iris staring accusingly at him. He felt his eyes slipping closed, brain shutting down as he gasped weakly for air.

_"Die for me."_

A distant bell sounded.

A flash of crimson lightning lit the inside of his lids. The not-Watanuki shrieked, and suddenly the tendrils slipped away from his neck. A long inhumane moan faded into silence.

Doumeki opened his eyes, and he saw a blood-red butterfly, fluttering above him.

The bell sounded again.

_Wake up._

And the world around him _ripped apart._

* * *

><p><em>Freedom.<em>

_The word eliminated the whispers that echoed down the corridor._

_It sings of freedom, and hope, and dreams. There might be a day when the doors get rusty, or the bars erode. There might even be a day that someone comes to unlock the door, and take it away. Out of the cage. Out of here. It sings in waiting for that day. It sings for the day it can rise from the ashes of this cruel world of fire and brimstone, and truly soar. Victorious. Magnificent. Free._

_The caged bird sings of freedom._

* * *

><p>"Fai!"<p>

There was an almighty groan as the darkness—no, as the _illusion _began to fall apart. Through the dissolving apparition, Doumeki caught sight of a flash of red once more. His eyes flicked instinctively to it, and for a split-second, he thought he caught a glimpse of the red hairpin that Yuuko had been wearing in her hair…

_"Fai!"_

And then it shot straight through a clear dome that shattered apart with the impact, shot forward, forward, and struck Fai in the middle of his forehead. It splattered across the blonde's face. _Blood. _His eyes snapped open, and he began to _scream._ Doumeki stood. The magic user whipped around, reaching out as if to comfort the shrieking man.

Around him, his comrades were groaning, lying on the ground as if they were waking from a bad dream. A nightmare of magical makings. He ignored them as he found his gaze caught by the white glint of a blade. Kurogane launched himself forward with a formidable battle cry and the little prince struck out at him. An ice-shard tore past the warrior's side, but the magic-user folded to the floor. _Magical overload, _Doumeki realized, _he's using too much magic._

Cracks ran through the world in front of him, and then the last of the illusion _shattered._

_"Get this farce over with!"_

* * *

><p><em>The back of that tousled blonde hair, against the black of the eternal-winter-eternal-night outside, was like a pale winter sun. A winter sun that spoke of a potential for magnificence. In the summer, it would rise into the sky, uninhibited by the cold, unforgiving winter. And silhouetted in the dull light of that window, the boy seemed so much older and wiser than his age of six should have allowed. He seemed all-seeing, all-knowing, all-accepting. He seemed perfect.<em>

_Won't you sing, little songbird? _

_The songbird trilled clearly._

_Sing until summer. Sing until the days are warm and the winters thawed. Sing until the snow is gone and spring comes again. Sing until the day you can fly from the ashes of this terrible, terrible world, and be free._

"Fai!"

_A small, pale finger inched through the bars once more. The songbird chittered happily as a soft fingertip stroked it gently._

_Yuui, called the boy softly, Let's free it when summer comes. Mother is long gone, and she no longer has need of Serina's tunes._

_Under his gentle fingers, the songbird sang a single quiet, hopeful note._

_Sad blue eyes flicked towards him, staring at him secretively from under pale lashes. Plump lips stretched in an almost apologetic smile, and in that moment, that serene doll's face broke. Blue eyes seemed to swallow him up in a sea of regret and broken acceptance and a desperate, desperate wish for another's salvation. A blinking of pale lids, and the thread was broken. The little prince turned back to the chirping songbird._

_Serina, Serina, he crooned, If I find freedom first, won't you promise me that you'll keep singing until you find it too?_

A bell.

_Sing, little songbird._

A bell.

_One day you will rise from the ashes, and be free._

_"Fai!"_

_A bolt of crimson lightning tore through the corridor as the little prince turned back around, eyes closing in a serene smile._

_Yuui, he said, no matter what you do, I'll always lo—_

_His brother's face distorted, a grotesque protrusion pushing from its centre for a second before a red dagger ripped through like a dart through rice paper. Cold blood splattered across his face and as he parted his lips and screamed, a voice rang out in his mind._

_Wake up._

* * *

><p>A stretch of meadow extended past a shimmering, giggling, trickling brook, up a sloping bank into the forest that obscured all but the very tips of a great, white castle. Under his fingers; a throne of knotted, twined bark, and ahead of him, <em>ahead of him.<em>

A preadolescent little figure turned towards him with wide blue eyes, in those familiar white robes he'd seen in his dreams. Blue eyes. Blonde hair. Pale, pale skin that glowed unnaturally like an orb that was slathered in light to look like the moon. A face painted onto a _fake._

A world cracking around him, crevices running over a canvas of blue skies and green grass and daisies. The impostor crumbled.

A little window projected into the air, a frazzled brunette appeared over the shoulder of a ebony-haired witch, sleepwear askew and , leaping up into the air, sword whistling overhead as he glared down with vindictive red eyes . A frozen moment. The child-figure gazing up at the man with shocked blue eyes, and the descending warrior like a god of justice bringing punishment down on a wicked wizard.

_"Get this farce over with!"_

A child's scream that distorted into a monstrous sky shattered, like glass, like shimmering shards of mirrors that flew apart to reveal the unadorned backing of its frame; a part of it never meant by its maker to be seen by others. The grotesque roar faded to a man's howl, cutting off into wounded whimpering.

The blonde rose slowly, advancing menacingly from his gnarled throne.

At his feet lay the crumpled figure. A horribly disfigured eyelid closed as the beast whipped its face away, dirty yellow-brown hair flying in a tangled and matted mess. It was shabbily dressed in grey rags that were so torn they barely clung to his scarred shoulders. Not robes of the color of untouched snow. Not hair like the winter sun. Not pale skin like moonlight, but skin dark and marred. And defeated, fallen, without its dazzling veneer of purity, the creature lay in the cracked, grey dirt, covering its face with dirty hands and sobbing. Through the blackened fingers, he could see the terrible, terrible scars; the memory of a raging fire.

"Don't look," it cried, _"Don't look at me."_

The world around him, liberated from all illusions, was dark and grey. The trees were black and bare, the sky was stifled with a heavy blanket of darkness through which not even the stars could shine. The brook had long since dried up into cracked, brown earth, and the grayish, dead ground was devoid of grass. The grand throne of oak was a mangled black trunk like a withered old crone. But most horrible of all were the _cracks; _like bolts of lightning ripping through space itself, like torn seams through the ground and the sky and even the empty spaces; pulsing and quivering and groaning like a god collapsing under a great weight. Breaking. Tearing. And the _beast_ responsible lay cowering on the ground in front of him.

In the background, Kazahaya continued to scream as he lifted the monster by its bony throat. Kurogane collapsed to his knees, clutching to his bloodied side. The creature scrabbled at the fingers around its throat, choking it, killing it slowly by inches. The emotions hit him hard, all at once, and he almost doubled over from the sheer _force _of it.

Dashed hopes and shattered dreams and anger and _grief_. Grief for his perfect brother like the winter sun, who had never been allowed to reach his true magnificence; for his mother, who they had loved though she hated them so; for _Serina_, the pretty, sad little songbird who they had never freed, who had probably died alone in that empty wing. And then came an irrational hatred, an irrational grievance; they hadn't even been allowed to see summer one last time before being condemned to the tower.

Through blurred vision his fingers tightened, and the pathetic thing in his grasp whimpered.

And it was all because of wickedness like this _thing, _he thought terrible, terrible _monster _who had tricked him, who had hurt his lover, who had caused these terrible cracks in the sky, who had broken the world, who had not a care for the destruction of the dimension. Who had impersonated _Fai. _This wicked, wicked thing.

Coldness seeped through his free hand into a blade of deadly ice, as glowing runes swirled around his wrist. Kazahaya screamed.

_And wickedness must be punished._

That grotesquely marred eyelid slid closed, head lolling to the side in resignation as he raised the icy dagger.

_"Yuui…"_

A bell.

Fai blinked.

A bell.

"Stop! _Stop!" _Kazahaya screamed, "Don't kill him! He's—"

"Yuui…" murmured the creatu—no, the _man _in his hold, the single eye unobscured by dirty locks sliding open again to look at him with a strange, desperate love, "Yuui, I…."

The eye was blue.

Fai's fingers loosened, and the person collapsed to the ground like a marionette with its strings cut, gasping as he curled up in the dirt, filthy hair strewn over the ground and over its face like a shroud. Hair that gleamed a pale wheat under the grime and muck.

A sob issued from the cowering figure.

"_Yuui, I lo—"_

Fai dropped to his knees and brushed those dirty blonde locks away. He only caught sight of a mangled cheek before that single blue eye shut tightly closed, and the man turned his face away, defensively curling up in a tight ball.

"Look at me," he pleaded, "Let me see."

"Don't…"

He gently cradled that face in his palms.

"Let me—"

The skin was wrinkled under one palm, but _smooth under the other. _Brushing blonde locks aside, he tilted a scarred chin up.

"—_see you."_

_"No!"_

It was _Fai._

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Erm... Surprise, surprise! Hehe, hehe, heh? Yeah, sorry about that long long hiatus there. As you people know (or do you? hmm) I had my end of year exams. And then strangely enough, you'd think that after the end of years, I'd have a moment of rest but nooo. Then I had my literature final graded oral assessment, then I had my math final graded assignment, then I had my economics graded assignment. And then... well yeah. You get the idea. After a whole year of endless deadlines (curse you, IB!) you'd think I'd be used to deadlines every week— and trust me, I am, I get nervous when I find myself in the midst of the rare week without any deadlines— but this time was somehow really too much! The end of year examinations kinda killed me, and then I always kinda fall ill after a period of extreme stress. Then while I was sick I was like OH NO I STILL HAVE OTHER DEADLINES. And really, my school has really bad planning. It was like this. (Math is the toughest paper in my subject combination because I take HL, not SL.)  
><strong>

**MATH THE LAST PAPER. OKAY ITS DONE. CRASH. Three days of no school. First day back: LITERATURE ORAL PRESENTATION. (So during the three days I had to prepare for it.) And then, omg, time to fall ill and properly crash— NO WAIT. MATH ASSIGNMENT. Cue ten days of hell, the last two days in which I didn't sleep. The morning it was due, I kinda left the house at 5.30am (because I finished my task then) went to school, handed it up, and then went home and slept for the first time in two days. Okay... its time for me to fall sick and crash and— NO WAIT. ECONOMICS ASSIGNMENT. Now I have to wake up and do it although I'd dearly love to catch up on two days worth of sleep. And why again did I choose HL Math instead of SL math? SMITE ME FOR MY FOOLISHNESS. And why did I choose to do HL Economics instead of like Chinese or something? (Though economics is admittedly not that bad.) SOMEONE KILL ME NOW!**

**Yeah... You get the idea.**

**In the gaps between, I kinda got sucked into the SPN fandom because... DEAN WINCHESTER, THE HOTTEST THING SINCE FAI D FLOURITE. But seriously. Fai is hotter. Because his ponytail seriously rocks. *Clears throat* Okay. Erm. Yeah. Then after climbing out from the dark angst-hole that is the SPN fandom, I tumbled headlong into the even angstier X fandom. Seisub! I mean, I've read X and TB before, but this is the first time I've REALLY gone crazy over fic and AMVs and just reading and reading and omg, I even read the chinese translation of Leareth's In my Line of Work during my chinese deadline to convince myself I was doing work. And then I did AMVs instead of writing (my youtube name is now kichopo, and don't expect to find anything good because I'm a jack of all trades that is also a master of none.) Leareth is like. Come here and marry me. Breathe made me breathless, and In my Line of Work made me squee, and then there was so many other works. Insaneidiot is awesome. Her crack is awesome. Gosh, I love writers. It's too bad I really only read a few of the X writers for Seisub. Because... seriously, Seishirou is _hard to write. _Everyone tends to slip into OOC! Seishirou. Because... because a Seishirou with feelings is a OOC Seishirou! HE'S A GODDAMNED PSYCHOPATH FOR GOODNESS SAKE.**

**Err... Anyway, I'm sorry if the chapter sounds frazzled and disorganized. Because I was kinda frazzled and disorganized when I wrote it and... now that the final climax is kinda like out of the way, I foresee only two to three chapters more before From the Ashes officially ends. Yeah. And. Yeah. The prince who is the magic user is kinda like, insane R!Fai of this world. And I'll have to explain how that happened in the next chapter. Hope you enjoyed.**

**(And since I'm still ensconced in my Seisub obsession phase, here's a snippet of Seisub. Though the "unrequited" Douwata love kinda took unexpected dominance for a bit.)**

**Please review!**


	15. Off Hiatus

Hello,

I am off hiatus.

But this is not all good news. While I am writing again, this does not mean that my output speed is any good at all. I am still juggling assignments and revision, but now that there are less deadlines and more studying to do, I actually have the freedom to choose to take a break and write. Things have been rough since the last time I posted an announcement like this and I don't know if it will get better, but I'm going to continue trying.

Anyway, my finals are finishing in end November so until then, I don't foresee much promise of any long-term spikes in writing activity.

Lack of inspiration is also very likely to contribute to slow writing. Honestly speaking, I have largely stepped off the TRC ship to sail off in exploration of new horizons. However, I must add that luckily I have only shifted interests WITHIN the larger CLAMP fandom rather than flying off to become an avid Homestuck, a Sherlock fanatic, or even a hardcore gamer determined to finish Devil Survivor 2 before watching the new anime. Therefore, it's still relatively easy to write for TRC. Not to mention that while TRC is no longer my #1 Obsession, writing TRC is still like returning to my childhood home after a harrying stay in Tokyo. It's not like writing CCS (which was my #1 Obsession before TRC), where I can't even begin to care for characters I'm writing anymore. I still love TRC and can easily slip back into my rabid fangirl mode, it's just not my DEFAULT mode of operation anymore. That would be X1999.

That aside, I've been trying to find some place off FFnet where I can post some WIP snippets to keep you guys updated. Having these selective bits posted somewhere also gives me the dubiously false impression that I'm actually making progress and spurs me to continue writing. So far, I've started posting snippets in my scrapbook on deviantArt, where you can find me by the name of pseudo-brush, but I'm actually trying to bring my livejournal back up to date so I can start posting there instead. Because I actually prefer my dA to be more for my art than for my writing. My livejournal user is also pseudo-quill, same as here, but it's still very very behind. As in last year behind.

On the topic of livejournal, I really hate the new (not so new anymore) collapsible cuts. But I'm willing to let it go for now and continue posting there in desperation for a place to provide you guys with semi-regular updates. I might even eventually create a dreamwidth, however for the foreseeable future I will mostly be posting on dA or livejournal unless I have a complete chapter to offer you here on FFnet.

**To round this off:**

**1)** I am off hiatus,  
><strong>2)<strong> No, that does not mean there will be regular updates,  
><strong>3)<strong> My shift of interest will not affect TRC writings, and  
><strong>4)<strong> You can try watching for updates on my dA or livejournal.

Cheers to future successes in any writing endeavors.

**UPDATE 06AUG13: Sometimes I really surprise myself, but I took a couple hours and my livejournal is now officially up to date including recent fic fragments. You can find me at pseudo-quill. livejournal. com.**


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